Friday, 25 January 2013

Do you want to be more successful?

If you want to increase your success in work and in your life as a whole then please read on.

I think that you need to set aside an hour of your time in the next week and reflect on the questions that I pose to you below.

1. What does your best self do? When was the lats time that you felt totally congruous with what you were doing and how you were doing it? This is your best self. You will want to do more of this in order to increase your day to day successes. Think of another time and another if you can so that you build a detailed picture of what you are doing when you are your best self.

Take time to reflect on these powerful questions because they will help you to get more of what you want in your life particularly in terms of your relationships.

2. Do you spend a lot of time negatively introspecting about your past - what I should have done/said, what I shouldn't have done/said? This is one sure way of creating negative thought patters that lead to anxiety, loss of your intellectual control and high jacking of your intellect leading to your subconscious emotional mind taking over - yes, your inner seven year old.

3. Do you spend a lot of time negatively forecasting the future, often whilst in bed or otherwise on your own during the day? Typical thought patterns in this case are 'this won't go well for me, I won't be able to do it, I am not good enough to present, I will always be on my own and so on.This is the second behaviour behind negative thought patterns that lead to your experiencing anxiety, loss of intellectual control and your emotional seven year old taking over.

Now whilst seven year olds are great they are not good at solving adult problems.

Numerous studies have shown that people who live their lives focused on right now, the mindful people, focusing all of their attention on what they are doing right now, are happier and more successful and earn more than those who worry about the past or future.

Your challenge is to live a week just focusing on the here and now. If you need inspiration watch children.

When you have mastered this and feel calmer and more in control, you can start to positively plan for the future, all the time remembering that plans often have to be flexed and changed and hence the saying 'god laughs at our plans'.

That's it from your thinking coach this week.

Do let me know how you get on by leaving a comment.

I am here to serve you by helping you with your unique personal and professional development needs and to get you what you want via or if you prefer to call I can be reached on 01761 237400. I offer face to face and/or telephone support if you live at distance. Yours, Pam Madden

Thursday, 17 January 2013

Networking for You

If you are anything like a lot of people business networking is something that you avoid.

When I think about networking at an event I think we are resistant to the idea of formally presenting ourselves to others.

If you want to work a room and enjoy the experience here are some tips for you from my own experiences, those of my clients and those from experts in this area.

A good starting point is to prepare a concise 'I am x; what I do is this; what I am working with is this'. It's also a good idea to think beforehand about who you want to connect with and why so that your networking is focused.

The more specifically you know what you want out of any given event the better the outcome so think about this carefully before registering for an event.

Really think about what your brand is and what you want to portray so that you give a great impression of your brand.

When you meet a person for the first time pay attention to their behaviour and aim to match and mirror their actions, gestures, tonality and words to give them what they need in order to get them to engage with you.

Pay attention to your own body language practising confident postures, a friendly smile and perhaps some ice breaker questions or compliments.

Also prepare questions that will help you to get your outcome such as asking someone 'what are your biggest challenges right now?' that may help you to think about what services you could provide to help them during a subsequent conversation.

Above all move around and meet as many people as possible since there may be other opportunities for connections in the room.

Swap business cards and ensure that you follow up with people to deepen your connections.

Make notes about people you have met and what you have found out is important to them.

And remember that since business is all about relationships networking and meeting new people is a must...

So find a way to enjoy it such as dressing up or finding out more about other people.

If you have found these tips to be useful please leave a comment.

For support in achieving your business and/or personal goals please get in touch via We would love to connect.

Monday, 14 January 2013

Addressing Your Angst

Do you suffer from anxiety and fear of failure?

This blog aims to provide you with ways to cope better with the anxiety and fears that occupy your mind and impact the whole of your life.

A period of honest reflection helps.

I suggest that you ask yourself the following seven questions

  1. What am I afraid of? 
  2. Why am I afraid of this?
  3. Is this true? what evidence do I have for this fear/worry?
  4. What is this belief doing to me?
  5. Who would I be if I did not have this belief?
  6. What is the opposite of this experience?
  7. What would I like to believe instead that would be helpful to me?
You may not have all of the answers on first sitting but if you continue to reflect on these questions and others that you can think of you will come up with more positive alternatives and this will lead to your having more self confidence and enhance your self-esteem. 

Even something simple like moving from 'I cannot do x' to 'I can do x if I choose to by coming up with a new approach' will lead you to better choices, a more optimistic outlook and better results if you are hungry enough. I mean that if your intent is 100% and your attitude is positive then your will move forwards.

You could also ask yourself what you would notice [and others] if you let go of your fear/angst. What would you feel then?

Many people use meditation to address their anxiety and worries so you could sit in a calm place for say ten minutes a day focusing on your breathing and feeling the emotions that surface. This process will help you to know that your anxieties will not overwhelm you and that you can survive them simply by breathing.

Activities may also help you to address your anxiety such as meeting new people through a club of interest and of course exercise that releases feel-good hormones into your system that combat anxiety and leave you feeling more in control.

If you are resisting change or would for other reasons like help in addressing your anxieties please get in touch via and please leave a comment if you have used and enjoyed the changes in thinking stimulated by this blog.

Thursday, 3 January 2013

Eating differently in 2013

Many of us start the new year with a goal to lose weight and get fit. If this is relevant to you now then some of the tips in this blog may be useful.

If you are eating too much it's often for emotional reasons including feeling bad, feeling good or just plain bored.

To stop the old cycle and habits you need to find a better way to manage your emotions.

Step one is to recognise that emotional hunger is different from real hunger and comes on quite suddenly. Ask yourself what am I feeling right now? Name the emotions.

Step two is to to mentally press the pause button to slow down the often quick unconscious action of eating when you are not truly hungry. Pause for sixty seconds and ask yourself some questions such as 'how will I feel when I have eaten this?' It helps to record your feelings and question answers initially to increase your awareness about specifically what is happening for you.

Step three is to examine your beliefs about food - for example, do you feel anxious around food because of the conflicting information out there about what you should and should not eat?

Be curious in finding out your own truth and trust your body. For example if you have heard that it's good to start the day with porridge, fruit and nuts, try it for a week - do you notice any difference in your energy levels in the morning? If it works for your lifestyle you may want to continue with this change.

We often start the new year with a high intention of some radical diet and find it lasts a week or less.

I think that you are better off taking small steps and changing one thing at a time. And try not to suffer! For example if chocolate is your thing still eat it but go for the high cocoa dark chocolate which is richer with small amounts being more filling.

Nothing is forbidden but aim to eat mindfully - focusing on eating sat down at a table rather than watching TV or reading for example.

If you have found this blog to be useful please leave a comment.

If you would like support in achieving your personal and professional goals in 2013 please get in touch via our website where you can also sign up for a complimentary 'better work results today' coaching session.