Pam Madden - Thinking Coaching

Business Coaching for Senior Women Leaders

2012-02-24T09:00:00.001Z

Are you a woman in a senior role at work?

Do you want to marke your mark in business through a job in which you feel well-respected, well-paid and valued for what you achieve?

Do you care more about the organisation than your own individual needs? Are you a nurturing character?

The likelihood is that you make an excellent 'high-performing team' leader.

High performing teams have a clear vision, clear structures, team aligned and agreed goals and objectives and - where there is role clarity - positive team behaviour and change agility.

How does your team fair?

A starting point would be to assert your needs - what do you need to communicate with your team to achieve the high performing team that you want and what do you need from the Board to perform at your potential?

Is your vision aligned with that of your organisation?

Are your goals and objectives aligned with and contributing towards the organisation's?

Are you achieving results in the areas most important to the business, such as, increasing sales performance and reducing costs?

Are the behaviours of you and your team helping you to achieve in the key result areas?

Are you and your team flexible to the changing requirements of the business?

If you have answered 'Yes' to each of these questions you can develop a good business case to support what you are asking for from the Board.

If there are one or more 'No' answers then you may need to address that area before developing your business case.

If you have found this blog useful please leave a comment.

If you would like support in achieving the next level in your career please contact us through our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Wisdom Coaching

2012-02-20T09:00:00.007Z

Do you want to be wise and enjoy a peaceful life?

Earlier this week I was helping a client to set her goals for 2012 and my client said one goal she wanted to achieve was to be 'more wise in 2012'.

We went on to explore what this meant for her in specific terms as 'being more wise' means different things to different people.

My client explained that she wanted to 'live more peacefully in her own mind' and 'be able to share this way of being with her family and friends'.

My client wanted us to come up with a list of things she could actually do to achieve this.

We achieved her outcome for the session and my client was happy for me to share her 'Wisdom List' with you.

This may not resonate with you at all - so no promises - but if it does please leave a comment. So here's wishing you more wisdom in 2012:

Let Go of The Past - Perhaps by practising literally letting go of in your hands whenever you think of something which has happened in the past that provokes negative thinking or feelings.
Relax to Stay In Control of Things - Breathe in deeply into your tummy - like inflating a balloon - and then breathe out slowly as though deflating your balloon.
Live In The Now - Practise seeing, hearing, feeling, touching and smelling what is happening around you right now, clearly using all of your senses preferably.
Be Positive and Optimistic - Rather than negatively forecasting the day (the presentation won't go well, for instance) say to yourself 'I wonder what will happen today and I am curious to find out'.
Be Kind to Yourself and Others
Be Enlightened - Be grateful for what you have that is truly important to you.

For all of your coaching and counselling support needs please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Improve Your Health by Breathing Properly

2012-02-17T09:00:00.003Z

Are you feeling stressed and want a quick tool you can use to address this?

Most people are upper-chest breathers, areas associated with anxiety and stress.

However, if you start breathing from your stomach this induces calm and a relaxed feeling.

To begin practising this sit back at a slight angle - say in a comfortable chair - making sure your neck is supported.

Place your hands on your stomach and breathe in through your nose to about the count of 7 - imagining that your stomach is a balloon and that you are inflating this as you feel your stomach rise.

After a brief pause start breathing out through your nose to about the count of 11 feeling your stomach deflating like the balloon you have envisioned it is.

Repeat this process 3 times and you should feel much more relaxed and - with a bit of practice - now know how to breathe from your stomach.

When you breathe in you are oxygenating your body and giving it energy from stimulating the sympathetic nervous system.

If you feel soreness in any area of your body take your mind there and breathe into that area to direct the oxygen and energy to that place and help the muscles in that area relax.

Most of us have a tight neck or shoulders so directing energy to these area will help to loosen them.

When you breathe out you are detoxifying and relaxing by stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system.

Just carry out this exercise whenever you think of it, for example, when you get in from work.

Research shows that since breathing is the best tool we have for relaxing quickly it also helps us to stay in control of our behaviours, such as, not giving in to comfort eating. How great is that?

Please let me know how you get on with this by leaving a message.

If you would like to know more about stress and anxiety management then please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Yo-Yo Dieting: Eating, Food and All That...

2012-02-13T09:00:00.002Z

Are you someone who has always had an issue with food such as yo-yoing between dieting and overeating?

Perhaps you want to work on this area of your life yourself once and for all and maintain your optimum weight.

If this is your plan then here is my list of top tips to help you to get started:

Monitor Your Habits - Are you a 'sit on the couch in the evening and eat person?' or do you tend to 'raid the fridge after a bad/good day at work?'

Think about what you might do instead. For example, if you are the first type of person could you watch less TV and when you're watching TV perhaps only have a handful of unsalted nuts instead of a packet of biscuits.

If you fall into the latter category you may use exercise for reward or to 'let go' of a bad day.
Are You Starving Yourself to Lose Weight - Are you eating very little and finding that you don't lose any weight? When you try this tactic you are literally putting your body into starvation mode which causes it to hold on to all of the calories you put into your body - leaving you starved of energy but maintaining your weight.

The best tip that I can give you is to eat protein at each of your three meals, such as, low-fat Greek yoghurt for breakfast with your fresh fruit and lean meat and fish for lunch and dinner.
Don't Cut Out What You Enjoy - You'll find by not cutting out what you enjoy your weight is more likely to stay on track for life. For example, if chocolate is your thing have it just once or twice a week rather than every day and at 100g a time - even better if you opt for dark chocolate with a high cocoa percentage of say 70%+.

If wine is your thing perhaps have a boundary of Friday and Saturday drinking of say two standard 175ml glasses on each of those nights. This will stop you craving and undoubtedly binging.
Keep Your Eating Varied to Stop Weight Plateaus - The Caveman Diet is best for a healthy diet leaving you feeling full of energy. This amounts to lean protein, fruit and vegetables, nuts, seeds and whole grains.

Why not have whole porridge oats with some fruit and seeds plus spices such as ginger and cinnamon, water then microwave it for a couple of minutes before adding a little Greek yoghurt?

You could have brown rice with chiecken and vegetables and swap your normal jacket spud for a sweet potato lower in starchy carbs and a great source of energy?
Take Time to Eat and Really Enjoy Your Food - This gives you the time to register fullness so aim to chew each mouthful of food 15 times or so before swallowing. A lot of the digestive process is eased by this so you will avoid feeling bloated as well.

I wish you every success in your goal and would love to hear about your experience.

For all of your coaching and counselling needs please do get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Life Coaching: Making A Decision

2012-02-09T09:00:00.033Z

Are you thinking about life coaching but not yet at the point of decision?

You may already be aware that life coaching is about helping you to achieve what you want from your work, personal and social life.

How can life coaching benefit you in 2012 in a way that you would not have experienced without it?

For my clients the most regular feedback I receive was summed by a client who said the following:

"In the past I had goals but they were never written down in a way which I knew I would help me achieve them.

"Life coaching helped me to do this in a way which motivated and helped me to get what I wanted.

"It also helped me to create an action plan, asked me questions and recognised my successes in a way which left me energised to get on with the next part of the goal."

Working with a life coach day-to-day can help you achieve your goals and stop you feeling tied down and free you up to take control of your life.

Maybe you want to change careers in 2012, get healthy or find a partner - maybe you want all three.

Your life is so short and precious that it makes sense to invest in yourself by taking on a life coach who can help you to live the best life possible.

I haven't once come across a client who thinks that the investment of time and money in life coaching was NOT worth the results they achieved.

But where do you start? Read through the previous blog Are You Ready, Willing and Able To Be Coached? as this will help you take the first to realising whether life coaching is right for you.

If you find out that it is then please leave a comment on this blog or to find out about more about life coaching contact us through our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Money Coaching

2012-02-06T09:00:00.021Z

Are you like the vast majority of people who recognise that they do not like speaking about their financial position?

For one of my clients this issue has resulted in her feeling uncomfortable having money and therefore she spends as she earns and has no savings.

Recently she set herself a goal of saving for those things that her and her partner want which are 'bigger ticket' - including a conservatory and a replacement car.

Her beliefs around money including 'I believe I shouldn't have money' and 'Easy come easy go' - among others - were impacting her behaviour.

She has now set herself a new goal 'To get pleasure from saving and to think 'Do I need it?' before spending'.

She recognised that to enjoy life in the present and to plan for the future she needed a balance between spending and saving so she could be proud of herself.

In order to work on her goal we spent time visualising her spending and saving some money and this mindful approach left her feeling more comfortable and more in control.

Would you benefit from experimenting with visualising yourself in this way?

Perhaps set aside some time to sit quietly in a comfortable chair, then to close your eyes and relax your body - perhaps by imagining yourself in some place which you find tranquil.

Then imagine yourself saving an amount that you can contract with yourself each month - perhaps in a savings account - and imagine realising what you are saving for - something for someone else perhaps.

Perhaps you are currently in debt and want to clear that debt. If you imagine this to be the case, your mind will come up with options and ways to help you to realise your goal and get back in the black because it's clever that way.

Have a go at these exercises and let me know how you get on by leaving on comment on this post.

Alternatively, if you're looking for some support in changing your behaviour - whether it's about money or anything else - please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Focusing On What Matters To You

2012-02-04T09:00:00.031Z

I think you could convincingly agrue that the economy mirrors the human drive for material gain and spending money which we do not have.

Something similar happens in our personal lives when we put our own material success before other more important values.

"Too much and too long, we seem to have surrendered community excellence and community values in the mere accumulation of material things,’ said Robert Kennedy during his 1968 election campaign and a few months before he was assassinated in Los Angeles.

"Gross national product counts air pollution and cigarette advertising and ambulances to clear our highways of carnage… yet the gross national product does not allow for the health of our children, the quality of their education or the joy of their play.

"It measures neither our wit nor our courage, neither our wisdom nor our learning, neither our compassion nor our devotion to our country, it measures everything, in short, except that which makes life worthwhile."

Today, a group of Anglo-American economists together with French economist Patrick Viveret are urging that the success of our societies should be measured by the well-being of their citizens rather than by their production of weapons or construction of prisons.

In studying what really makes people happy, they have come up with the following precise recommendations – daily behaviours and activities which do not consume material goods and are pretty recession-proof.

Connect with Others – Invest in human relationships. Look on them as the foundations of your life. They will enrich and support you more and more every day.
Be Active – Find a way to move your body that’s fun and feels good. When the body is active it manufactures happiness through feel-good chemicals including serotonin.
Sharpen Your Awareness of the Present Moment – Be curious. Observe what is beautiful or unusual. Savour the moment that you are living in right now.
Keep Learning – Try something new. Take up singing lessons, dancing, playing an instrument, cooking, drawing. Set yourself a goal which you would like to meet. Then take the first step in getting there.
Do Something to Help Someone - Imagine your personal happiness is inextricably linked to the happiness of your community and activate the pleasure zones in your brain.

Good luck with this and if you have a success to report from using the advice in this blog then please let leave a comment.

If you would like to learn more about the life coaching services which we provide them please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Do You Want To Be Happier?

2012-01-30T09:00:00.011Z

If you want to be happier then you may be interested to hear what the Greek philosophers thought on this subject.

Without complicating things and going into detail about the thoughts of individual Greek philosophers, I think there is some general agreement from these early thinkers about the factors which contribute to human happiness.

Their thoughts on the subject are outlined and listed below for you to reflect on in relation to your own life:

See Your Friends Regularly - Those who love you for who and what you are and those who you feel good around
Freedom - Do you feel free in your life for example to pursue the things that you want in your life such as working at what you enjoy?
Wisdom - Do you reflect on and deal with your problems and anxieties, have realistic expectations and consider the consequences of big decisions?
Flexible Beliefs and Behaviour - For example, do you accept pain, loss, hurt and that you can carry on and live your life in a meaningful way achieving fulfilment?
Confidence - Are you able to stand by your beliefs and not be too influenced by the masses? Do you accept yourself for who and what you are?

A way forward would be to think about whether you agree with their conclusions or not.

If you agree, the next step is to think about whether the factor features strongly in your life.

If it does feature then this is an area to be grateful for and to continue to nourish.

If it does not feature then this may be an area in which you want to develop.

Your options for development include self-development and working with a coach to achieve your development objectives.

If this blog post has helped you in any way let us know how it helped you increase your happiness by leaving a comment.

Alternatively, if you would like support in your goal to be happier then please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Solving The January Blues By Setting New Goals

2012-01-27T09:00:00.002Z

January is a bleak time of year for many people, driven by factors such as the weather, the post Christmas credit card statement and returning to work after the festive break.

For others, January signals a new year and a time to set goals for the year ahead.

As human beings we're naturally goal-driven and setting and achieving goals is motivational.

But some of us struggle with setting goals because we feel life we're in something of a rut come the start of a new year.

Before you give up, there are a few things you can do to get yourself in the mindset of wanting to set and achieve some goals in the 11 remaining months of 2012.

You can learn to see yourself in a more positive, balanced way by carrying out the following exercises:

Listing your positive qualities - Brainstorm all the things you like about yourself. Are you smart? Kind? Creative? Loyal? Funny?

What would others say are your good qualities? Include your talents, skills, and achievements.

Also think about bad qualities you do not have and do not want.
Focus on what you do like about your life - Appreciate the things you like about yourself and your life.

What elements of your work, personal and social life are going well?
Challenge negative self-talk - When you catch yourself being self-critical or pessimistic, stop and challenge the negative thought.

Ask yourself - Is this helpful thinking? Does it make me feel good? What evidence is there for the thought?

Then change the thought to something believable and positive, for example, 'I feel I am gradually learning about talking through how I feel'.
Be kind to yourself - For example, have a massage, soak in a candlelit bath or do exercise you enjoy.
Develop some healthy beliefs - For example, ‘I take care of myself by eating healthy food 75% of the time and by exercising 3times per week' or 'I make a written worry list with possible solutions before I go to bed so I can sleep'.
Keep a gratitude and achievement diary - Use it daily to record the little things that bring you little bits of happiness each day such as accomplishing something at work, laughing with friends, eating a fresh meal or going for a walk.

Wishing you fulfilment in 2012.

If you find this blog to be useful please leave a comment and if you would like help and support in any area of your life please get in touch with me via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

New Year Weight Loss Goal

2012-01-23T09:00:00.002Z

The most common New Year's resolution is to lose weight and get healthy.

If this is you and this time you have 100% intent and you mean it then I think that you may want to try the following to set you on your way to achieving your goal.

Our beliefs and values drive our behaviours. Knowing this you can start to work on your weight loss goal.

1. Start by writing down all of the beliefs you currently have which are driving the old unwanted behaviour of eating too much and not exercising. For example:

I won't be able to lose weight
I don't have time to exercise
When I feel bad I eat
When I feel I deserve a reward I eat
I need sugar to get through the day
My boss drives me to eat a lot of chocolate

Keep brainstorming to identify the beliefs which you think have led to your being where you are.

2. Now write down some different beliefs that you are motivated by and which you think are realistic for you and will help you to achieve your goal. For example:

Sugar is toxic and does not fuel my body so I eat little of it
I eat to fuel my body with whole fresh foods including fruit, veg, fish, poultry, eggs, nuts and whole grains like seeded bread and porridge oats
Eating healthy at least 75% of the time makes me feel energised so I can do want I want in the day
I notice hunger as my tummy rumbles and I feel empty
I always pause before I put something in my mouth and think about the consequences
When I eat out I am happy to order 'off menu' at times so I feel in control

Keep brainstorming new, realistic, motivating beliefs that you personally can believe in.

Once your list is complete write them on a card for your purse or wallet and put another on the fridge or food cupboard.

Now, read your new beliefs each day for at least a couple of weeks to allow the new beliefs to become embedded in your subconscious mind.

These new beliefs will help to drive new behaviours which will assist you in achieving your weight loss goal.

Please do let us know if this blog has been useful by posting a comment and if you would like assistance with this or any other goal please consider us as your support resource and get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Health and Well-Being Coaching

2012-01-16T09:00:00.002Z

Do you feel that you want to improve your health and well-being and want some simple strategy which works in a sustainable way?

I am Type 1 Diabetic and was diagnosed when I was 37 years old.

This life change forced me to look at food as fuel rather than anything else, such as, 'something to do when bored, stressed or celebrating'.

I wanted to know what foods would satisfy me and keep my blood sugars even rather than spiking up and down. I did a lot of research and self-experimenting to find out what foods made me feel good.

The Caveman Diet works well for fuel - if it walks, grows or swims you can eat it.

Fresh fruit, vegetables, lean protein, nuts and seeds, are all you need. Try just eating these foods for 5 days and notice how your stomach looks less bloated and how you feel more energised.

I learned that sugar - refined and processed - is poison to my body and mind with long-term toxic complications which could cause me blindness, loss of limbs, heart problems etc.

I learned that drinking more than one to two glasses of wine a couple of nights a week impacted my sleep, making me tired the next day and more likely to reach for something processed rather than whole perishable foods.

I learned that sugar is present in bread, cereals, wheat, rice, pasta, milk, dry beans, processed food and bought soups. Eating these foods caused blood sugar swings, mood swings, tiredness and sluggishness.

We are all different. You will want to set your own boundaries around food and alcohol. Do your own experimenting.

My own experience has taught me that we tend not to overindulge in whole healthy foods like fish, chicken, vegetables, salad and fresh fruit because these satisfy us and keep us full for longer.

We do tend to overindulge in breads and other carbs because they cause sugar dips and spikes encouraging us to eat more to get the next spike when in a dip. Removing them completely avoids this vicious circle.

My biggest tip is that since your beliefs drive your behaviour, believing the content of this blog will help you to do what you want and feel well.

Let me know if this simple strategy is helpful by leaving a comment perhaps after you have given the 5 day trial a go.

For all of your life changing goals we are totally committed to help you to get what you want.

Take your first step by contacting us through our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Are Your Beliefs Holding You Back From What You Want?

2012-01-13T09:00:00.001Z

Working with a client this morning prompted me to write this blog.

My client recognised that for all of her adult life to date she had been rebelling against her parent's frugal behaviour with money when she was a child.

One particular vivid memory was: 'My Mum used her own baking chocolate on cheap plain biscuits' and 'I decided then that I would always be in a position that meant being able to buy nice tasting biscuits'.

My client recognised she had behaved at the opposite extreme of spending all her money quickly based on one belief that 'I shouldn't have money' and another 'I feel more comfortable when I do not have money'.

Our beliefs are very powerful and do an excellent job at determining our behaviour even when we don't consciously want to carry out a particular behaviour

Does this sound familiar?

What behaviours do you want to change because on a conscious intellectual level you know that the behaviour is stupid or childish?

If we are not able to make changes at a conscious level then we need to look to our unconscious beliefs for evidence of what is driving the unwanted behaviour, such as, spending all of our money.

When I asked my client what she wanted she said: 'To take more pleasure from saving personally and at work' and 'To strike a balance between spending and saving'.

Our core beliefs about ourselves, others and the world we live in are often formed before we are 10 years old.

In order to make changes in our behaviour we need to work on changing our beliefs.

How do we do that?

I help my clients using a combination of Solution Focused questioning to understand what they wants - specifically:

Hypnotherapy - Helps me to access the client's unconscious mind which is more accepting of new ideas for consideration
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) visualisation and linguistic techniques
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) - Offers tools and techniques for shifting thinking patterns

Stop for a moment and write down a list of unwanted behaviours which you have noticed yourself doing in the last month.

Think about which beliefs you currently have which are driving those behaviours.

Think about why you want to change - What do you have to gain? This will help to rev up your motivational intent.

Start by doing the visualisation exercise on my previous blog - Visualisation Is Key To Making Your Changes Stick.

In the next few days, as you think of this more, you will - often quite subconsciously - start to think about what you need to do to make the changes that you want to make for yourself.

If you have found this blog to be useful please leave a comment or if you would like help please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling, via email at enquiries@westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk or by calling us on our confidential answering machine service at 01761 237 400.

Visualisation Is Key To Making Your Changes Stick

2012-01-09T09:00:00.001Z

Do you ever wonder why that despite your best intentions the changes you intended to make, started to make or made have not been sustained?

For example, changing a way of working, being a healthy weight or going to bed at a reasonable time.

This is such a common problem for a number of clients I have recently started working with, I decided to write a blog about a technique which I have found invaluable in helping make these kinds of changes stick.

That technique is Visualisation.

The idea is that you visualise what you do want - i.e. focus on what you want - and your subconscious mind then knows what you want and can help by coming up with ways to achieve your goal.

You can do this on your own or with help and you will know what you need and what works for you intuitively.

For example, if you have always tended to 'think in pictures' this may come easier for you and you may find that you can be self-sufficient in terms of visualisation.

On the other hand, you may be used to thinking in terms of words or feelings and may need some help with this technique.

Here is a practical exercise for you to try and something that I do very often at the start of each day - even before getting out of bed.

Close your eyes to help you to focus and imagine you are watching a film of you as you want to be - for example, at your target weight and size.

Watch the other you doing the things that you easily do in your daily life, such as, getting dressed, walking the children to school and so on.

Imagine this other you also doing the things you want to be able to do, such as, eating when hungry, enjoying moving around regularly and being in control of your emotions and press your mental pause button each time you start to feel upset.

Notice how this other you moves, carries themselves, looks and how other people respond.

Then step into the film taking the new behaviours into yourself.

Go through a typical day with the new thinking and behaviours and consider how things are going to be better now.

The key to successfully getting change to stick is to repeat this daily until you achieve your goal and then as often as you feel is necessary.

Each repetition of your visualisation creates a neural pathway in the brain with each further repetition reinforcing it.

In the previous example, as you think of yourself as a healthy weight and size you are sending signals to your unconscious mind to behave as a healthy person, with lots of new habits that help you to maintain that.

Visualisation of you having achieved your goals is very powerful in helping you to achieve them as well as sustaining them and this has to be a worthwhile exercise.

Please let me know how you get on by leaving a comment and get in touch if you would like help with achieving and maintaining those changes which are important to you via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

All Senior Managers Need A Personal Coach

2012-01-06T09:00:00.005Z

Are you a Senior Manager in an organisation?

If you are, you may or may not be aware of your significance in terms of organisational performance.

I think, of all the layers within an organisational hierarchy, senior managers impact the business more than any other tier.

Senior managers influence the strategic direction of the business as well as the performance of more junior managers and staff.

Senior managers are being made more and more accountable for results - often in the form of key performance indicators (KPIs) or metrics such as, revenue targets, budget targets, people targets and so on.

Being a senior manager in today's high change transformation organisational agenda will feel at times stressful and onerous whilst often satisfying as it can help you achieve your ambitions.

Senior managers supported by an executive coach give good gearing for their organisation in that their performance impacts the performance of many others, including, line managers, staff and more senior directors or partners in the business.

Unless you are perfect - and few people are - the likelihood is that you will have development needs identified through your performance management infrastructure which would benefit from a bespoke individual programme best met by working with an executive coach (as opposed to going on a generic training course).

In particular, the non-technical part of your development - your personal competencies - are best met through a combination of coaching, group support and self-development - such as relevant reading.

Leadership coaching is on the increase and covers a multitude of skills including the following areas:

Vision and goal setting
Influencing and negotiating
Decision-making
Managing poor performance
Handling conflict
Delegation
Assertiveness
Confidence
Presentation skills

If you are an ambitious senior manager, who also recognises your scope for further development, and are keen to explore this we would like to sign up for one of our complimentary 'Better Results Today' coaching sessions.

During these sessions we can discuss and explore your strengths and areas for development and you can sign up by simply filling in the online form on our Complimentary Coaching Sessions page on our website.

Alternatively, you can get in touch with us via email at enquiries@westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk or via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Couples Coaching and Counselling

2012-01-03T09:00:00.000Z

Is your significant relationship in need of work? Are you aware that you have started to exist within your relationship or become two managers of a household?

If this sounds familiar you will want to take action before one or both of you decide to leave the relationship. If that is not what you want here are 5 tips to get you started:

Set some achievable goals for your relationship, together. For example, we will go to bed at the same time at least 3 nights per week or we will have a date night at least once a fortnight.
Look at the way you are spending your time versus what you actually want to spend your time doing. Think of options which will allow you to spend more time with your partner. For example, hiring a cleaner or having stricter rules on your children's bedtime routine.
Consider the communication weaknesses between you and consider how you can communicate better. For example, rather than just communicate 'to do' lists, check in with your partner when you come home from work, by asking something like 'What has been good in your day?'. Perhaps accompany this with a hug.
Think about your relationship as the two of you being on a journey along which you aim to develop and get better at playing your part in. Think to yourself about what you can do better and give more of what your partner would appreciate.
Sit down once a month and review your relationship that month. Look at what has worked (listen to your partner first) and made them happy and find out what could you do more of and less of whicih would improve your relationship.

We see many couples who recognise that relationships need work - just like work needs work - if you are to be any good at it.

I think that if you can work at your relationship and change things so you both feel that your needs are being met you can often avoid a painful break-up whilst at the same time developing into a better person.

Preventing unnecessary break-ups is something we are very good at.

If you would like support in your endeavours and "engage in a process that is solution-focused and enjoyable" (a client's words) then please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling, email us at enquiries@westofenglandcoachingandcounselling or call our confidential answering service on 01761 237 400.

Gearing up for Change in 2012

2011-12-31T09:00:00.000Z

Do you like to set New Year's resolutions so that you have a good set of goals to motivate you for the year ahead? Even better - goals that contribute to your life aims.

Perhaps this year you did not set goals or set them only to abandon them part way through.

Perhaps you did set goals and have achieved them.

Now is the time to start taking stock of what went well for you in 2011 and what you want to achieve in the coming year.

To help you with this task I will draw on a client case study.

Start with a list of areas of your life that are important to you.

My client for this case study listed: Health, Work, Relationships, Finances, Hobbies and Community. You will make your own list which may be different.

I asked her then to think about what she had achieved in 2011 within each of these 'important' values areas.

Again she made a list. For example, against Health she wrote:

Started working out 3 times per week
Reduced drinking alcohol to 1-2 nights a week with no more than 2 standard glasses of wine
Adhered to a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner pattern without late-night eating

Once complete I asked her to scale each area from 0-10 with 10 representing the high strength end.

Then I asked her to think about what she would like to leave as her legacy and what she would aim to achieve in 2012 towards that end.

For example, within relationships she said her legacy would be to have been a wise counsel to her family and friends.

With this in mind her goal for Relationships for 2012 was to reach out to every family member and friend at least once a month - to ask them questions about them, provide a listening ear and support where she could help.

My client also reviews her goals every 2 months with my support, updating and amending them as required. She intends to continue with this approach in 2012.

I would like to invite you to have a go at this exercise yourself. If you find it helps you, please leave a comment.

If you would like help reviewing your last 12 months and planning 2012 please get in touch with via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Career Coaching - Checklist

2011-12-23T09:00:00.018Z

So you want to get in control of your career. Where do you start?

Start with your career goals and then progress with a strategy or approach and an action plan.

Career Goals:

What would you like to achieve long-term, at the height of your career - your ultimate ambition?
What about medium-term over - say the next five years?
What about in the short-term - say 12-24 months?

Approach:

Start with a self-assessment. What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing?

If you are interested you might complete a working styles questionnaire such as Myers Briggs Type Indicator.

Action Plan:

Is your CV up to date, 1-2 pages long and are its content geared to the roles you are seeking in terms of your results to date and your capabilities (skills, knowledge and competencies)?

Do you have a good cover letter template?

What verbal self-presentation statement do you have off-pat to use with potential employers?

What will you do to prepare for an interview?

I hope this checklist is of use to you in managing your career. Please let us know how you get on and if you would like assistance please contact us via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Coaching to achieve your potential

2011-12-19T09:00:00.017Z

Do you feel as though you could be doing much better in your professional working life and yet feel stuck and unsure of how to deal with this?

Are you frustrated working for others who seem to take all of the recognition for work that you deliver?

Do you think that you are achieving a small fraction of your potential?

A good personal coach will help you to clearly articulate what you want from your professional life over the long, medium and short term.

A good personal coach will help you to identify where you are currently in relation to your ambitions and goals and help you to address any barriers to your moving forwards, in particular limiting beliefs and confidence issues.

A good personal coach will help you to develop an action plan and interventions that will help you to achieve your long-, medium- and short-term ambitions and goals.

A good coach will provide you with tools and techniques to help you to get where you want to go at a pace that is right for you and to ease you into making the changes you will be making.

A good coach will provide you with optimum levels of support and challenge so you can achieve your potential, which will change as you progress in achieving your ambition and goals.

At West of England Coaching and Counselling, we all experience excellent coaching support as well as providing excellent coaching support to our clients.

We know that coaching helps us to achieve extraordinary results and we want the same for you. We are passionate about you achieving your potential and what you deserve.

What dreams would you like to make a reality through congruent goals, objectives and action plans?

You are likely to be somewhat successful now and with the help of an experienced coach you can look forward to taking the next steps up the ladder in your professional life or move careers or maximise your current opportunity.

Whatever your situation we will help you to move onwards and upwards.

Why not make a positive start in 2012 and get in touch with me personally via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling for an investment in your future.

Career Coaching - Starting Again

2011-12-05T09:00:00.002Z

I recently worked with a client who decided to leave her current role which she was not enjoying to spend some time working out what to do next.

Are you in or want to be in a similar position or are you about to find yourself in a similar place? Where do you start?

I started exploring the options with my client by examining the following areas:

Projects enjoyed - Including the skills, knowledge and competencies required
Particular strengths - Such as key capabilities like being totally client-focused or good at managing conflicts between people and resources in big network or a particular field
Preferred working environment - Such as in a large team with lots of support or working alone with a high level of autonomy
Preferred work location - Such as Bristol, the UK or from home
Realistic remuneration expectations
Career ambitions and time-scales - Such as becoming an MD of a blue chip or working for yourself
Career values - Such as working for not-for-profit organisation, wanting to work in NHS, having a job with a good work-life-balance and limited travel through to wanting to work overseas in different cultures
Example organisations you would like to work in
Types of jobs you would like to do

We then started tailoring my client's CV for her target job and organisation, keeping it within the 2-page best practice guideline and focusing on her results and value-added proposition.

We then identified 5 target organisations from an initial brainstorm of 10.

My client then researched each of the target organisations so she understood more about their current business as well as their strategic goals.

From her research she was able to identify those areas where she would be able to add value and used these to tailor her CV to the precise requirements of her potential employers.

Rather than waiting for a job advert to appear, she approached the HR department direct in each case and was invited to attend an initial meeting at 3 of the 5 potential employers.

My client's current position is that she has 2 job offers and our next task is to help her to decide which position to accept. She feels in control of her own career through her most proactive approach yet.

If this blog helps you please let us know about it. For help and advice in moving forward with your own career please visit our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling, get in touch by sending us an email at enquiries@westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk or calling us on 01761 237 400.

Coaching For Solutions To Relationship Issues

2011-12-02T09:00:00.041Z

Do you have what seems to you to be an intractable problem which involves other people either professionally or personally?

In certain areas of life, such as, engineering, IT and medicine a problem focus is required so that weaknesses and what went wrong can be understood before a solution can be put in place.

Increasingly in life the most interesting and potentially significant problems are about people - especially their difficulties and challenges in communicating with each other.

Change programmes at work show that the Number 1 challenge is most often communication between the workforce.

Research also shows that when it comes to people issues analysis of the problem rarely assists in finding the solution.

Rather, by focusing on the problem you become problem-focused with an excellent strategy for defining it.

Understanding why things are like they are does little to help you to decide what to do next.

Negative emotions brought about by people interaction issues, such as fear, anger, frustration, feeling overwhelmed and misunderstood do not pave the way for a clear solution.

Following the 'What you focus on is what you get', neuroscience helps us to glean that focusing on what the solution is can help enormously with problems relating to people interactions.

The solutions-focused approach is used in all of our work. We start with some initial questions to elicit the issues as you see and experience them and then move forward to articulate specifically what you do want - your goals and objectives - in positive and measurable terms.

We move forward by scaling where you are now and identifying what is already good and what is already being done right.

This helps us identify what already works for you - so you can aim to do more of it - as well as highlighting resources, strengths which can be used to move further forwards to help you gradually achieve your goals and objectives at your own pace.

We also work on the premise that problems rarely happen in all contexts. Identifying times when problems do not occur for you helps us to think about transferring this knowledge, skills and so on to other contexts where the problem does happen for you.

One example of this came to light for a client of mine last night when he realised he felt calm and in control the days after a good night's rest when he was not up until 1am emailing.

This had the knock-on effect of him being calmer with his wife and children the next day which subsequently helped his wife feel warmer towards him, more supportive and so on.

The solutions-focused approach is a positive and pragmatic way to progress with people issues and problems communicating and interacting.

Your challenge is to apply this approach in your own life and if you so wish let us know how you get on.

Our mission is to teach you an approach which you will find useful again and again in your life.

If you would like to know more about receiving solutions focused coaching or counselling please visit our website to see our full range of services West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Career Coaching - Stay Or Look For A New Role?

2011-11-28T09:00:00.007Z

I am currently working with a senior executive who needs to make a decision about whether to stay in her existing role or move to another role in another organisation.

In fact, she has a job offer on the table and the organisation concerned is so eager to have her that they have given her until the end of the calendar year to make her decision prior to giving notice in her current role.

Are you in a similar position? Perhaps you have dissatisfactions in your current role which are causing you to consider your options.

From personal experience - and in working with many executives in this area - it is important to start by thinking about what is driving you to consider a change within your career.

Can the issues which are causing you to consider change be resolved within your current role? For example, workload, work type or work location?

Have you exhausted all of the possibilities for making the changes that you want within your current role?

If the issue - or issues - are not resolvable and you are sure that you want to make the change, think through your decision carefully first and ask yourself the following questions:

What is the rationale behind the decision?
What are the facts?
What is the logic behind your decision?
How do you feel?
What impact will this decision have on your values?

But what are your options and what criteria will you use to assess these options and make a decision?

One technique which I suggested to my client - and we went though in our session - may provide you with some help. Simply answer the following questions and it should help you reach a decision:

What would/could you gain if you moved to the/a new role?
What would/could you lose if you moved to the/a new role?
What would/could you keep [which is important to you] if you stay?
What would/could you lose if you stay in your current role?

Sometimes we need to step back and see the wood for the trees.

Sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence when we may be:

Jumping from the frying pan into the fire
Avoiding handling issues such as relationship management that we may well come across in our next role - the saying 'Wherever I go, there I am' springs to mind here
Experiencing the horns effect when we give a high weighting to an issue that we are unhappy about but may have not done enough to address it using all of our strengths and resources.

If you have found this blog to be useful please leave a comment and if you would like support in your career then please do get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling - Career Coaching.

Executive Coaching

2011-11-25T09:00:00.024Z

Are you an ambitious manager, senior manager or director working within a public or private sector organisation or for yourself or in a partnership?

Have you recently had your performance review and identified with your line manager areas of strengths to build on as well as possible areas for development?

Perhaps you have had some feedback through a 360-degree feedback process which has highlighted areas of development which, addressed, will help you to further your career.

Research shows that managers, senior managers and directors often develop more quickly and better through one-to-one executive coaching than through any other performance development intervention - including traditional classroom training.

This is because individual one-to-one coaching focuses on you and is tailored to your specific and precise needs within a structure that will have you feeling more motivated and confident in achieving your development objectives.

An independent coach will provide the following:

A confidential listening ear and sounding board for your experiences, problems and solutions
A source of advice should you request this
In-time support, being available regularly face-to-face and also available on email and the telephone when you need them
Work with you to clearly articulate positive, specific, measurable, realistic and time-bound objectives
A structure to achieve your desired outcomes, such as, career progression or specific leadership skills development
A coaching model to guide and steer discussions
Good challenging questions that help you to think differently
Collateral specific to your needs, such as, communication models, tools and techniques
A non-judgemental presence coming from a supportive, positive and enabling place.

Managers, senior managers and directors who are serious about their continuous professional development and want learning on the fast-track develop business cases to secure funding for their coaching, which include coaching being an investment to help them to achieve their objectives and also improve the performance and engagement of their teams.

If you are unsure about whether to progress with coaching at this time please see my blog - are you ready, willing and able to be coached?

If you have found this blog useful please leave a comment or if you would like to discuss your personal coaching needs please get in touch in confidence via our website West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Small Business Coaching - Improve Productivity and Morale

2011-11-21T09:00:00.000Z

Are you interested in learning about one simple, easy-to-implement tool which will boost staff productivity and morale?

How much do you estimate that poor communication costs your business? How much do you estimate not using all of your staff's potential is costing your business?

The truth is that when your people are not managed well it costs your business - That's the impact plain and simple.

What issues are most often behind this?.... These most common issues include the following:

Individual X has a development need that is ignored
Individual Y is only told when they get things wrong and the individual spends much time at work complaining about their manager
Individual Z is a manager and avoids tackling conflict so performance issues are ignored

Using a good feedback model addresses all of these issues and builds your staff productivity as well as their morale.

Psychological research shows people respond best to feedback which is specific, timely and in the ratio of 3 positives to each development point.

So how would you go about this?

Step 1: Start with 3 specific positive things that you have seen/heard/read about them – their strengths
Step 2: Then focus on 1 specific thing that you would like them to do more/less of that would make them even more effective/develop further/able to positively influence you.

Focus on what you want from them NOT what you DO NOT want from them.

Ask them how they think they can achieve that - i.e. let them come up with their solutions to get their commitment to change.

Feedback in your business needs to become part of your way of working - something everyone does to get the best from each other and avoid standing still or even regressing.

If you have found this blog to be useful please leave a comment or if you would like assistance implementing this way of working into your business please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling - Team Development.

Small Business Coaching - Reducing Costs

2011-11-18T09:00:00.008Z

There is an old adage - 'It's not what you earn but what you spend' - which tends to dictate your personal savings.

There are people who on the surface appear wealthy and have well paid jobs but actually carry a lot of debt -living pay cheque to pay cheque because of lifestyle factors such as a big mortgage, school fees, expensive cars, expensive and frequent holidays and the latest technology.

There are others on more modest incomes who have perhaps lower mortgages and more simple lifestyles.

These people have a budget, always compare the market when they do spend and think carefully before they spend money on non-essentials.

In running your small business - and especially in the current economic climate - your costs play a big part in your survival and if you can pare these down you will increase your bottom line.

I am working with one small business team currently identifying areas where they can reduce costs throughout their whole business model - from staff costs (often your biggest controllable cost whatever your business) through to marketing, rent and consumables.

This organisation is pleasantly surprised at the significant indicative cost-savings they are now working towards and all of the team have found the process to be fun and motivating.

It is easy to lose control on spend and not look for the best deals for your business in the same way as it is easy to lose control of your personal finances.

However, it is very satisfying to save money for your business and increase your bottom line - leaving you feeling in control - just as it is very satisfying to find a bargain during a personal purchase.

But how do you start saving money and where do you look?

First - go through all of your business expenses and make a list of your say Top 10 costs.

Then work out what is a realistic and specific goal that you want to set for your cost-savings? Perhaps start with 10% and then review this figure every 3 months when you may decide to adjust it.

Asking the following questions will help you to act.

Which of your costs is ripe for a cost saving because it is currently high?
Have you compared the market in this area?
What options are there to reduce spend in this area?
What criteria will you assess these options against - for example, what will you gain / lose and what will the cost be? Then what will you do?

Once you have a focus on your costs this exercise will become a healthy habit and you are more likely to stay in control of your business and increase your likelihood of staying in business.

Of course, there is more to running a successful business than controlling costs and your focus will also need to be on generating top-line sales but I have no doubt that in any business the latter is often prioritised at the expense of the former.

Focusing on cost control as well as growing your business will help you to run an effective thriving business.

If you have found this blog to be useful please leave a comment and if you would like help in this or any other area of your business please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Small Business Coaching - Dealing With Attendance Issues

2011-11-14T09:00:00.003Z

Do you have a problem with staff attendance which is primarily short term?

Have you noticed patterns to attendance issues - for example, the individual who is often sick on a Monday or Friday?

I think the best tool to deal with attendance issues is the return-to-work meeting. Why?

It shows the individual that they have been missed
If the individual is a malingerer they will be less likely to call in sick in future
It sends a clear message to other staff that attendance issues will be managed
If there is an underlying problem you can find out - for example, the individual calls in sick but the issue is really a problem at work or home

So what do you say at this meeting..... Have a think about what your goal is? What are your options and what will you do?

Here's a suggested format:

Welcome the individual back
Tell them that they were missed
Check they are ready to return and have not come back early for whatever reason
Discuss any issues that may have contributed towards or caused their absence
Where any causes are identified discuss what help you as the employer can offer to address them
Discuss any further action that may be necessary

You will need to prepare for this meeting and ask yourself the following questions:

What are the advantages of holding the meeting in a private place?
What information will you need to have in front of you relating to recent absences?
What about sensitivity and listening skills?

You will also need to carry out certain actions after the meeting including the following:

What about note taking?
What adjustments need to be made for the individual if any?
Do you need to consider disciplinary action yet?
How will you continue to monitor the attendance issues?
What action does your policy say you can take if the non attendance issues persist?

If you have found this blog to be useful please leave a comment or if you require an small business support please visit our website West of England Coaching and Counselling - Business Coaching.

Small Business Coaching - Tackling Poor Performance

2011-11-07T09:00:00.004Z

Are you interested in tackling poor performance before it becomes a formal disciplinary issue?

What do you think are the benefits of 'nipping an issue in the bud' before it escalates?

Where are you now with the performance issue? What is the impact on your business?

What is the impact on other staff? What are your options....ignore the issue and hope it will go away or tackle it?

A really good tool towards tackling poor performance -is the following 6-step coaching model:

Gaining Commitment: Open the discussion in a positive way. Discuss current level of performance, agree that a problem exists and the impact of this on the business, other staff and them. Discuss and agree the size of the performance gap. Do not move on until the individual recognises a performance gap exists and that it is significant enough to warrant change – Why?
Closing The Gap: Discuss options to reach the required performance level. Review the advantages and disadvantages of each option. Encourage the individual to come up with ideas, prompting where you think necessary.
Develop The Strategy: Agree the best approach to close the performance gap. Identify performance measures that will show clearly when the new performance level has been reached. Explore any resources that may be required.
Agree The Action Plan: Who will do what and by when? Agree the time frames for when the new level of performance must be reached. Set review dates to monitor progress - including interim reviews if you think necessary. Express your confidence in the individual’s ability to deliver - keep it positive.
Action: Both of you agree to commit to the action plan. You discreetly monitor and guide 1:1 when necessary. Hold interim review sessions if required.
Review: Meet to review/measure progress towards targets. Recognise, communicate and record in writing achievements that have been made. If performance has not reached the required level go back to step 1 - make the targets more specific, the review periods shorter and be less tolerant of shortcomings e.g... ‘this is the third time we have spoken about this [specify performance gap].

If you have found this tool to be useful please leave a comment or if you would like assistance please contact us through our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling - Business Coaching.

Small Business Coaching - Managing People Tools

2011-11-04T09:00:00.001Z

Do you have a small business and see that managing people is important to your profitability?

This is the first of a number of blogs which - actioned by you - will help you to increase your productivity, morale and profitability.

The first tool - I want to share with you is objective setting.

Be clear on your business plan then determine what objectives to set each of your employees which will help you to achieve your business plan - few businesses do this really well.

Make sure you avoid duplication of effort when you develop individual objectives for and with your team members.

Also, any training and development should only happen if it helps the individual or your team to achieve their objectives.

Individual objectives are important to ensure that individuals are accountable.

Clear alignment of team and individual objectives with your business plan will help to motivate staff and increase their productivity because they will see how they are adding value to the business.

All these objectives must be SMART - by that I mean:

Specifically - What do you want them to do?
Measurable - What will be the evidence of success? Aim to make this clear i.e. quantitative or qualitative and both if possible.
Achievable - Do they have the resources - for example, skills, materials etc., to achieve it?
Realistic - Is it challenging yet realistic - including the timescales involves?
Time bound - When are they to complete it by?

Aim to review your staff objectives with individuals every 3 months and set new ones where appropriate.

Check how individuals are getting on a at least every month by asking the following questions:

What is going well?
What is not going well?
What support can you give them?

You set the 'what' they are to achieve. Allow them to set the 'how' they are to achieve it.

With inexperienced staff you may need to help them with the 'how'.

People are naturally goal and objective driven and setting them objectives that contribute to the achievement of the company business plan will motivate your people.

Future blogs will provide advice on other people management areas including:

How to nip poor performance in the bud early on when you spot a problem
How to address non-attendance
How to massively improve the way you communicate with your staff and develop them into the bargain

If you have found this blog to be useful please do leave me a comment or visit our website West of England Coaching and Counselling.

How Do I Change When I Have 'Failed' In The Past?

2011-10-31T09:00:00.001Z

Making a change in your life I think is predominantly down to 2 interlinked factors.

The first is your motivation and the second your confidence in terms of whether you think you will be able make the change you are looking for which in itself is usually impacted by your previous experiences.

For example, if you want to change the way you look and feel - and possibly what people say to you - by losing weight.

You may have attempted this many times before but ultimately you have always ended back at your starting weight or perhaps even heavier.

Your confidence is therefore low in this regard because previous experience tells you that you 'have failed' and as a result your motivation to change is also at a low.

So what do you do? Ignore the thing you want to change - your weight in this case - and continue to be dissatisfied and disrespectful of yourself?

Unwittingly, this impacts other areas of your life. For example, you wear clothes that are 'frumpy' and this negatively impacts your self-esteem.

This then impacts your work - perhaps how you communicate - such as holding back at meetings, not asserting yourself and so on.

The good news is that if you are reading this then you are demonstrating some real commitment to positive change.

More good news...

You can strengthen your commitment to change by strengthening your intent.

We know intent.

Think of a time when you said you were going to do something, such as, go to the gym, and this time you meant it and you did it.

And you can strengthen your intent so that this current change you want to make happens.

How?

By following a strategy put forward by leading life coach Anthony 'Tony' Robbins ('By standing on the shoulders of giants and success leaves clues') which has worked for others and I think includes the following 4 key criteria for success:

Exploring in full what is driving this change you want to make and asking yourself questions including:

What will happen if I do make the change? What won't happen if I don't make the change? What will be so much better when I make the change? If I don't make the change what will be the impact on my personal, work and social life?

You know you are making progress when the prospect of not changing is so uncomfortable that you feel that you must and will change.
Having a positive, specific and measurable goal that is realistic, sustainable and set over a practical time period. Aligned, if possible, with a key event that you want to achieve your goal by, such as, a key work or family event
By imagining yourself having achieved your goals and seeing your success as a realistic possibility.

For example, it is February 2nd, 2012, the day of x work event and I have reached my target weight of 12 stone.

As I wake I feel fantastic because I am seeing people this evening that I haven't seen for some time and I know I will feel great when they say how healthy and well I look.

As I get dressed in front of the mirror I see a person who looks after themselves and I'm absolutely delighted to be wearing a fitted suit which flatters my physique. I give myself an approving smile as I stand tall and look confident...........
There is an old adage that every journey begins with the first step. This is the biggest step the step of any decision.

My message here is to go at your own pace, taking a small step each day such as....

Day 1: Get a pedometer and track the number of steps I take
Day 2. Beat yesterday's steps by 300.

Many people try to do it all at once and end up failing. Aim to make changes that you can sustain and build into your life without having to do something that you will resent, such as, taking a formal gym programme

So have a go at this strategy and let me know how you get on. Of course, if you want support in achieving your goal we are 100% committed to help you so do get in touch via our website West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Small Business Coaching - Back-to-Basics Business Development

2011-10-28T11:30:00.002+01:00

Does the idea of business development fill you with dread? Something you would prefer to leave well alone whilst you focus on what you do well?

If you answered "Yes" to this question - you are not alone.

And yet, business development (BD) can make a business while a lack of it - or the wrong type - is often a key reason for business failure. So...we have to do it.

With this in mind, I think our aim must be to enjoy BD and we can do this by focusing on getting the key tools and techniques right.

The aim of BD and marketing is to get maximum return - or paying customers - for minimum expenditure.

Therefore, it pays to first consider the free BD you can do before actually spending a penny.

The first thing to do is make a list of everyone you know and tell them about your business.

If appropriate, you may consider giving them a sample / complimentary service with the proviso that they tell say five other people about you.

It also helps your family, friends, work contacts if you let them know what your ideal customer / client looks like and the key problems you fix or services you offer.

Telling your network is the simplest and easiest form of marketing and it's free.

Other free sources of marketing for small businesses include a card in your Post Office, offering to do a talk about your business to local groups and developing (and then printing at low cost) your own flyers to distribute to your target market.

If you're targeting a particular market and calling prospects would be helpful then you will need a cold-calling script. For some great tips visit businessballs.com.

If you do go down the cold-calling route expect to have to approach prospects about 8 times before getting a "Yes" to your proposition.

Someone once told me that customers need to see us in at least 3 places to buy our services - so bear that in mind when you are planning your BD and marketing strategy.

If you want to try an advert in a local paper, start with something small and see the advice on my previous post called Small Business Coaching: Back-to-Basics Marketing relating to this.

When you do start advertising in your local paper do negotiate. For example, ask for 12 months advertising with 2 free months and then get this in writing.

Why not ask for an advertorial so you get to tell readers about your business. For example, outline successful examples of your business in action or come up with a case study as both work well in this type of marketing.

Is it necessary at this stage for you to have a website?

Many successful small businesses have no brochure or website and are just as successful by simply using business cards and word of mouth.

If you do want a website make sure it fits in with the type of business you are offering and then shop around for good website designers who are competent at Search Engine Optimisation (SEO) as this will help to ensure you site is visible on the first page of search results.

Business Development (BD) can be enjoyable and reap rewards if you focus on getting the basics right.

If you have found this blog to be useful please let me know or get in touch via our website West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Small Business Coaching: Back-to-Basics Marketing

2011-10-24T09:00:00.030+01:00

Marketing your business now surrounded by all of the economic doom and gloom is a great idea because your competitors will be cutting back on their marketing budgets.

Not only will it provide you with a clear field ahead of you, the cost of print, media and advertising space will also drop and be very negotiable on price.

Making a profit from advertising is about buying advertising space cheaply. For example, if you can halve the cost of an advert and double your response you have quadrupled your profits.

Here are 5 simple ideas to help you to make the most of your marketing and advertising campaigns:

Remove white space, make your logo smaller and get more of your sales message into the advert
Make the font smaller and close to that of the paper that you are advertising in. If you have a strong headline and sales message people will read it
Focus the advert on your compelling offer and a call-to-action
Offer more response option, for example, include your telephone number and website address. The more ways you give a customer a chance to respond, the more responses you will get
Go for a small advert which is just a headline to entice your audience. For example, a benefit or a hint of a solution accompanied by a website address where you can give them the rest of your story

Every advert you put out there must give people a reason to respond. Aim to offer one specific thing, something they want and need and will respond to.

Let me know how you get on with this by responding to this blog and if you want help please get in touch via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounslling.co.uk.

Executive Coaching: Acquiring New Skills For New Roles and Challenges

2011-10-21T09:00:00.002+01:00

I was inspired to write this blog post after a session with an executive client today who is in a new role with fresh challenges and needs to develop their skills to make the most out of this opportunity.

My client wanted to work on acquiring these new skills one-to-one because:

There was no training course that offered her the specific skills she wanted in one programme
She wanted an 'expert' to focus solely on her to speed up results

We discussed how we would use our 2 hours together by first focusing on what she would leave our session with for it to have been considered a success.

We developed a goal and objectives for the session which focused on skills for developing a productive team and addressing current conflicts.

For example, I shared with my client a tool for providing feedback which builds motivation, helps to develop staff and improve their performance.

We then chose to role-play using the tool in practice. First, I acted out her role for demonstration purposes and then she followed by acting out her own role.

This reminded me how well one-on-one coaching works for executives who acquiring new skills which are not always easily labelled or neatly boxed into a traditional training course.

Perhaps you can use this blog to practice new skills with a trusted colleague. Please let me know how you get on.

If you would like support in this or any other area of personal and career development please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling - Executive Coaching.

How To Be Happy: Enjoy The Simple Things In Life...

2011-10-17T09:00:00.027+01:00

So you have set some goals and you are working on them but there is something missing...what happened to enjoying today, now, this moment?

So I am writing this blog to remind you to keep a list of the things that make you happy now - just ordinary everyday things which you may have overlooked for a period like the view from one of your rooms, sunshine, a great meal...

Think about what you already have - Even better list these things in a journal and keep going until you have a full list of all of your blessings.

If you find this hard, think about what you do not have and do not want. Add these to your blessings list.

You may notice that the acquisition of things brings happiness but this is ephemeral. Numerous studies have shown there is nothing sustainable about acquisition - even for high winning Lottery individuals.

There is also something researchers call the Hedonic Treadmill which is when you say "I will be happy when...I have lost weight / got married / started a family / got my face lift etc".

The trouble with this outlook is that once you get used to the next level of status you reach a new norm which in itself becomes unsatisfying - in essence more wants more.

Happiness is not a destination... it's a state of mind. So recognise what you have, smile, enjoy what you are doing today and at the end of the day write down what has gone well in your journal - small things do count.

After all, big events and achievements happen less often.

And remember that whilst it is great to have goals and action plans, it is most important to live in the moment as this is all we have. Life is fragile and short.

If you have found this blog to be useful please let me know and/or get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Relaxation By Yourself - A 10 Point Plan For Relaxing

2011-10-14T09:00:00.002+01:00

You can read the following 'relaxation by yourself' instructions and after a few practices you will have your own in-built relaxation habit which you can use daily to reduce stress and anxiety.

Sit in a comfortable chair or lie on your bed. Ensure you will not be disturbed by other noises. If you become aware of sounds ignore them. Make sure the whole of your body is comfortably supported - including your arms, head and feet.
Close your eyes. Feel the chair/bed supporting your whole body - your legs, your arms, your head. If you can feel any tension, begin to let it go like releasing a clenched fist. Take three slow and deep breaths, and let the tension begin to flow out imagining it like sand in an egg timer.
Become aware of your head - notice how your forehead feels. Let any tension go and feel your forehead become smooth and wide. Let any tension go from around your eyes, your mouth, your cheeks and your jaw. Let your teeth part slightly and feel the tension go.
Now focus on your neck - let the chair take the weight of your head and feel your neck relax. Now your head is feeling heavy. Let your shoulders lower gently down. Your shoulders are wider, your neck is longer.
Notice how your body feels as you begin to relax.
Be aware of your arms and your hands. Let them sink down into the chair. Now they are feeling heavy perhaps limp.
Think about your back - from your neck to your hips. Let the tension go and feel yourself sinking down into the chair/bed. Let your hips, your legs and your feet relax and roll outwards. Notice the feeling of relaxation taking over.
Think about your breathing - your abdomen gently rising and falling as you breathe. Let your next breath be a little deeper, a little slower.
Now, you are feeling completely relaxed and heavy.…. lie still and concentrate on slow, rhythmic breathing….
When you want to count back from 3 to 1 and open your eyes. Wiggle your fingers and toes, breathe deeply and stretch. Pause before gently rising.

If you have found this blog helpful and relaxing please leave your comments. If you, a friend or relative would like help with reducing their stress and anxiety please get in touch via our website West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Managing Stress Through Helpful Questions

2011-10-10T09:00:00.002+01:00

When you find yourself on the 'tipping point' of becoming stressed with all the dreadful feelings and behaviour that usually ensue STOP and take a deep breath.

Now, ask yourself the following questions (they work for me and I truly was a big stress-head!):

What am I reacting to?
What is it that I think is going to happen here?
Is this fact?
What's the worst (and best) that could happen? What's most likely to happen?
What would I like to happen - my outcome?
How helpful is it for me to think this way?
Am I getting things out of proportion?
Is it worth it?
How important is this really? How important will it be in a month's time?
What meaning am I giving this situation?
Can I see that this meaning is inflexible?
Am I overestimating the threat?
Am I underestimating my ability to cope?
Have I got my ‘stress-head’ on?
What do I look like to other people? How am I affecting them?
Am I mind-reading what others might be thinking?
Am I believing I can predict the future?
Is there another way of looking at this?
What advice would I give someone else in this situation?
Am I putting more pressure on myself?
Just because I feel bad, doesn't mean things really are bad.
Can I do things any differently here?
How much can I control in this situation? What is outside of my control?
What changes (however small) can I make to those things that I am able to control?
What do I want or need from this person or situation? What do they want or need from me? Is there a compromise?
What would be the consequences of responding the way I usually do?
Is there another way of dealing with this?
What would be the most helpful and effective action to take? (for me, for the situation, for the other person)
What could I gain/lose?
What will I do?

If this blog has been helpful then please do leave a comment. If you, a friend or relative would like support in managing your stress or anxiety please get in touch via our website West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Stress Management

2011-10-07T09:00:00.028+01:00

Do you ever think now 'I can't cope...this is too much' about work, personal or relationship issues?

Do you feel anxious, angry or depressed or perhaps all three?

Do you notice your heart racing, tense muscles, headaches, difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, restlessness, irritable bowel, sleeping disturbances, eating more or less, drinking more alcohol, upset, shouting, arguing...?

The first step is to identify what is making you stressed and then you can then either remove the triggers or change your response to them.

Say for example, it's your career and you are stressed about possible redundancy and the financial implications of this.

In this case you are not in control of removing the trigger - the redundancy threat - but you are in control of how you to choose to view it.

You can stress and feel sorry for yourself or you can take action by updating your CV and use your network to identify job opportunities.

No one is saying that life stresses are always easy to handle, however, there is often a solution if we stay calm and in control.

What tools are useful for staying calm and in control? Here are ones that I have used, some of which I continue to use:

Mindful extended breathing
Relaxation CD with progressive muscle relaxation
Focus fully on an activity
Pampering e.g. aromatherapy massage
Exercise - especially yoga
Help others
Be with others - i.e. your friends and family
Keep a gratitude journal
Have a regular enjoyable hobby, interest
Prioritise
Say no - Not for now
Write down your thoughts and feelings
Positive self-talk/affirmations e.g this is temporary and will pass
Healthy eating
Cut down on caffeine and alcohol

One of my clients has each of the above tools written down on slips of paper in a box and each day she picks one out (like angel cards) to focus on.

I think that I know a bit about this because I used to stress about the smallest of hitches and now I definitely 'don't sweat the small stuff' or even bigger things that I cannot do anything about, for example, the economy, job security, impact on pension...

I do take action though when things don't go as I expect and I do make a plan. After all, we must recognise that worrying is futile.

We are better off thinking about our outcome and planning a way forward.

So, if you are currently worried about losing your job update your CV, share it with your network and make a plan to find another employment opportunity.

We are currently working with a number of clients on helping them find a way forward following redundancy or helping them to prepare for redundancy. If this is you please get in touch via West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Changing Your Role in Life

2011-10-03T10:50:00.005+01:00

Are you fed up with your current role in life, feel that the same things keep recurring and the same behaviours keep repeating themselves?

You may have reached a point where you feel really uncomfortable - even desperate to change things?

Perhaps you have set some goals and taken some action but you haven't actually changed your deeper beliefs, rules for life and you feel incongruent - like you are living someone else's life almost.

Perhaps you have been doing it all for someone else to make them happy - a parent or spouse - to meet their expectations or what you think their expectations are.

For years my role in the script of my life ran along the lines of doing a job that would make my father proud of me and for years I felt like a square peg in a round hole.

'That's just stupid' I eventually thought. Perhaps you can relate?

I went through a transformation from old to new role in the script where I eventually felt that I was being my authentic self.

My old beliefs were that I would never be good enough - 'I will have to work really hard because I am not clever and on my own because I cannot rely on others, to prove to my Dad that I am good enough and lovable'.

My new beliefs are different - I am and always have been good enough and I can reach out for support whenever I want to.

I prioritise and balance my life so that I am working hard enough and I do something just for me every day - for me it's usually exercise and preparing a fresh meal that make me feel good.

Above all, I remind myself that I am doing good work helping others and that I earn my oxygen, that people respect me and that I am loved just as I am.

My new beliefs have given me peace of mind.

So, what new beliefs can you start to have that will help you to change your role in your life?

Know that everything is happening for a reason and everything is as it should be even when you think this could not possibly be true. Believe it and ask for the strength and courage to be able to see it as true.
Aim to change the things you can, accept the things you cannot change and know the difference.
Stop beating yourself up for anything you feel you have 'failed at' - failure is only failure if you let it keep you down.
If you do things in life sometimes you will fail - learn from it and move on.
Be flexible and prepared to let go of the battle to have things your way all of the time.
Be honest about the depth of your anger or depression and take action that is helpful to your health and well-being.
Be kind to you. Know that we are all flawed, imperfect and spend some time getting to know the real you again - maybe go for a walk on your own at least once a week and do some soul searching.
Enjoy the journey, what is happening around you now - the sights, the sounds and enjoy the fact that you are alive, awake and here to experience life on your path at a lovely pace that is just right for you.
Expect obstacles on your path and curve balls will continue to be thrown. By expecting these problems you can handle them as best you can whilst still focusing on everything that you are grateful for.
Offer gratitude even when you want to do the opposite - moan, complain, cry. When you can connect with a true feeling of gratitude, even when you’re in the midst of massive pain it helps.
Find a form of meditation that works for you and aim to just be, letting any thoughts pass without analysis.
Let your new role evolve in a time that is appropriate for you - transformation can take years because it is a journey.

Please let me know your thoughts and feelings by writing a comment on this blog and please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Goal Setting, Goal Action and Goal Achievement

2011-09-30T09:00:00.048+01:00

Have you set yourself a goal recently or some time ago but are struggling to achieve it? If so then this blog is for you.

If you have got as far as setting a goal then good for you as most people don't set goals - professional or personal.

However, a goal without action is more of a dream that you may or may not achieve.

A good starting point is to review your goal and check it is specific (i.e. it is what you want), measurable (otherwise how will you know when you have achieved it) achievable and realistic to you (be honest and challenge yourself on this one) as well as time-framed (when do you want it by).

The next step is taking action - this puts you in control of the outcome. So what is a good process for taking action?

The following is a good exercise which suits most people:

Using Post-it notes brainstorm all the things that need to happen for you to achieve your goal with each separate action outlined on a different Post-it
Put the Post-it notes into order - what needs to be done first, second and so on
Date when each element is to be completed by
You now have your key milestones. If you need to take further actions to achieve an action, take each of the milestones and start again i.e. brainstorm all the actions you need to carry out to achieve the first milestone and repeat the above 4 steps
Put all dates and actions into your diary - aim to achieve a mini-goal every week
Take action each day. Ask yourself: "What action could I do today that will help in some small way towards my goal?"

Taking action is a discipline or habit that you will quickly get used to if you follow this type of exercise.

You will also notice by being proactive you achieve your goals quicker than you otherwise would and you are more likely to achieve your goal than by not taking action.

Let me know how you get on by writing a comment on this blog and - if you want to - please get in touch via our website West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Increase Your Personal Effectiveness

2011-09-26T09:00:00.000+01:00

Are you serious about increasing your personal effectiveness?

If you are then you want to get the right support to increase your results.

In September 2011 People Management (the magazine of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development), Rob MacLachlan gives a book review for James Scouller's The Three Levels of Leadership.

The book discusses public actions leaders take in a group setting, their private actions as leaders in relation to individuals and personal and a leader's own psychological, moral and technical actions and its effect on behaviour.

MacLachlan rightly points out that the personal leadership aspect - acting confidently and without fear as a leader - is often the hardest part to master.

Scouller says 'we all have unconscious limiting beliefs and defensive behaviours which block our full potential, authentic expression and joy in our work'.

MacLachlan questions this whilst Scouller offers techniques for facilitating self-awareness and change 'whether it is realistic for the process of deep psycho-spiritual change to be navigated solely with the help of a book, however good'.

Maclachlan adds that 'few people would have the discipline or self-awareness to undertake (personal change) without a good executive coach, ideally with a psychotherapeutic training'.

I think it is very difficult - if not impossible - to be completely objective about your own stuff.

I have a coach without whom I doubt I would have made the personal changes I have made and continue to make in order to achieve my goals - personal, professional, contributional and financial.

A good coach who is able to help you to make changes will always facilitate your changes at a subconscious level and address the beliefs, values, distorted thinking and rules for life which are driving how you feel and what you and others see; your behaviours and particularly whether you appear confident, calm and without fear.

If you have found executive and personal coaching to be useful on your journey please comment on this blog or if you are serious about increasing your personal effectiveness as a leader please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

For Peace of Mind

2011-09-23T09:00:00.041+01:00

Perhaps the greatest wisdom I have come across is how to simply and easily achieve peace of mind by focusing on the present.

Yes, there is and will always be pain in this world but if we choose to focus on the negative consequences of pain and not on taking action to achieve the best possible outcome then we will be overcome with anxiety, anger or depression.

According to experts, when we are anxious, we lose intellectual control and our 7-year-old emotional mind takes over - Not great for resolving adult problems and issues.

From my previous blogs you will know that when we create negative thought patterns through negative introspection about the past - i.e. 'I should not have done x, I should have done y, I should have said x, I should not have said y' - or negatively forecasting the future - i.e.'That will not go well, I will fail, I will not have enough time etc.' - we become anxious because our minds do not distinguish between our thoughts and reality.

It makes sense then to think about happy memories when we reflect on the past and - when planning the future - if we choose to predict outcomes to predict positive ones.

This way we avoid anxiety and stay in intellectual control, behaving in a way synonymous with our real adult age.

I tell clients that if this is too difficult then avoid thinking about the past or - if possible - thinking about it 'being as it should be' and factually.

In terms of the future, by all means plan but avoid negative forecasting outcomes - 'If I start dating again I will get hurt again' or 'If I take on that project I will fail'.

By all means take action to mitigate getting hurt - by taking things slowly for example - or to prevent project failure such as proper planning and stakeholder consultation.

It's the same with negative thoughts - we all have them but if you are smart you won't analyse them because it's by analysing negative thoughts that we create anxiety.

This all leads to a really obvious idea that by focusing more on the present, being in the now and mindful, will create greater peace of mind than trying to master good mental habits in relation to the past and the future.

Generally, we do not worry about today. We worry about past actions and future behaviours and issues.

By imagining that you have only today, there is far less scope for angst. By all means plan tomorrow and leave it at that.

We are only ever truly alive in the present and we do not have a crystal ball. Most of the things we worry about never happen anyway.

So enjoy right now and - if you are not enjoying today - take steps to enjoy it more such as incorporating things you love doing into your day and - if possible - finding work that you do enjoy.

I hope that blog creates new insights and that whatever your situation you are able to incorporate some of these ideas into your daily life.

If you would like to know more please visit our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling and get in touch.

Are You Overcome By Negative Thoughts?

2011-09-19T09:00:00.001+01:00

The truth is that we all have negative thoughts at least some of the time.

Our ancestors have dictated that our minds and more specifically our amygdalas are 'tuned' to be alert to the negative aspects of life - us, others and the world.

The salient point is how you react to your negative thoughts.

Most people seek help when they are overcome by their negative thoughts and 'cannot get peace'.

The truth is that by this stage the individual is analysing their negative thoughts and literally letting them be run by them.

The secret - odd and simultaneously simple it may seem - is to not analyse your these kinds of thoughts.

Through not analysing negative thoughts you are effectively not handing over your power to your negative vigilant subconscious and emotional mind which controls them.

How do you bring this about and stop yourself automatically getting sucked into analysing and being overcome by your negative thoughts?

A really simple technique which I and clients of mine have used is to imagine the negative thoughts passing by - rather like metaphorical clouds in your mind - with a comment such as 'Ah that's an interesting thought' without passing judgement on or analysing them in any way.

This takes away the 'negative' labels away from the thought and with it any alarming connotations and associations.

I read extensively on this subject and over time I have become absolutely convinced we can experience greater peace by taking control in this simple way.

Let me know how you get on by responding to this blog and please do let your friends and contacts know about our website - West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Cause and Effect

2011-09-16T09:00:00.018+01:00

If you want to change your situation the starting point is taking responsibility for your where you are now and how you feel.

What is the outcome that you want?

We teach people how to treat us - so if your issue concerns a relationship perhaps you need to change your part of the script or role in the play.

We can either be at 'Cause' or 'Effect'. If at effect we say someone else or something else is responsible for how I am/feel/do/behave/my results/my situation.

If we are at cause we say I am responsible for my results/how I feel/do/behave. Which would you rather be?

If we want to be empowered we can choose to be at cause.

We cannot directly affect others' behaviour - that is usually outside our sphere of influence - but we can change our behaviour and indirectly influence them.

When I met Joan (name changed) she was not far from serving her husband with a divorce.

I asked Joan what her outcome was and if she still loved her husband. She said that she did and wanted to take some steps to save her marriage.

It transpired that her husband was away during the week on business and on Saturday night my client was tasked with holding dinner parties for his clients/potential clients/business associates.

Saturday nights had ran the same for the past year or so. Joan's husband would complain about aspects of the food/Joan's dress.

When guests left Joan would row with her husband, cry and he would sleep on the sofa.

I played back to Joan what she had shared with me and said it's rather like being in a play where the script does not change - he has his role and you have yours.

Who was the wise person who said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing in the same way and expecting to get a different result.

I said to Joan that in order to achieve her outcome she would need to change her part of the script.

The next time I saw her she looked much happier and said: 'It was so hard but I changed my role in the script and it's helped'.

The Saturday after our session Joan had not shouted, screamed and cried when the guests left even though her husband had said 'that old thing' about her dress and criticised the food that she had spent all afternoon preparing.

Joan had sat down opposite him, looked him in the eye and said 'What I love about you are that you are a great dad to our daughter and a good provider for our family'.

I asked what his reaction was. She said he looked embarrassed. Why wouldn't he?

I asked what happened next. She said that for the first time in almost a year they shared the same bed and he held her.

Over the next months Joan's situation improved so much that her husband started complimenting her in front of friends/colleagues even adding 'How she has put up with having dinner party guests every single Saturday for as long as I can remember beats me' and 'I think we will have some time out and spend some weekends just the two of us'.

If you have found this blog useful, please leave your comments and if I can help you please do get in touch via West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Designing Your Preferred Future

2011-09-12T09:00:00.017+01:00

Do you feel motivated by the prospect of designing your preferred future and want help to achieve this?

The starting point is conceiving your preferred future in a way which drives you to achieve it but how do you achieve this first step?

The answer is to transport yourself into your preferred future and see what you notice first.

This involves envisioning specific details - often small and sensory based - such as what you will see, what you will feel and what you will hear when you get where you want to be.

You also want to design the following specifics at a number of levels:

At a behavioural level - What are you doing in your preferred future? Who will be there?
At a competence level - What skills, knowledge and experience will you have? (Yes - this can relate to personal stuff as well)
At an achievement level - What will your results be? Who will be benefiting from what you are doing?

As well as designing your future from your perspective, you can also shift your perspective to that of another - What would other people notice was different about the future you?

Ask yourself questions - such as 'What else?' - until you have exhausted the details and come up with alternatives which build upon your design for your future.

When you cannot think of any other questions you will know that you have exhausted your future design.

Now you get to the fun part......

Close your eyes and imagine you in your future design which you have just created.

Use all of your senses - if you can - and turn them up. Make the colours brighter and richer, the sounds more audible, the feelings stronger.

Why? For what purpose?

Using your senses builds your motivation. Imaging your future helps your mind to focus on its target and quite literally come up with ideas and options to help you to take steps to move towards your future design.

How did you get on? Please let me know or if you would like to book your complimentary 'Better Results Today' Session or visit our West of England Coaching and Counselling website.

How To Address Your Fears

2011-09-09T09:00:00.040+01:00

Do you have a fear which you want to address that causes you negative emotions and make you feel bad on a semi-permanent or permanent basis?

Most people have something they are fearful of: whether physical - for example, spiders, confined spaces or flying - or emotional - for example, change or failing or not being good enough.

How can you best address these sorts of fears?

I think the starting point is to imagine what your life would be like if you did not have these fears.

What will you be doing then? How would others know that you no longer had the fear?

This is your outcome or goal - your 100% - although you may want to aim for 80% or 90%.

Also, what would be the pay-off - or pay-offs - of resolving your fear? With a strong driver for the change you want to make you increase your intent to take action.

Next, identify times when you do not have the fear and what you are doing then. You will be wanting to do more of this because it works well for you.

Now scale everything from 0% to 100% where you are now. If you are currently at 30% - what are you already doing to overcome your fear? This is something that you can build on.

What resources have you used to get to 30% and can any of these help you to move gradually from say 30% to 80%?

Typically, small steps work to help you to help yourself gradually overcome your fear and it's unrealistic to expect to move from 30% to 80% in a week.

Although some people achieve this, they often slip back into old ways having not had time to consolidate and get used to their new patterns of behaviour and turn them into new habits.

Techniques which work well as small steps include the following:

Extended breaths - Challenge yourself, how many of these can you take each day whenever you think of of your fear?
Exercise in the morning - A short walk helps to put a fear into perspective because being outside literally expands your perspective on things.
Be kind to yourself - The next time you are in a situation which you find uncomfortable talk to yourself in a kind tone and give yourself what you need.
Be responsible for how you feel - If you start to feel stressed, fearful or worried, see how quickly you can turn your feelings around by turning your attention to something else or by aiming to think about the fear differently. For example, if you are afraid of failing ask yourself what you can do to deliver your best piece of work.
Aim to just focus on today - Most fears come from negatively forecasting the future. We do want to plan ahead and we want to see things going well but if you find this difficult being more present in the now will help.

If you have found this useful please let us have your comments or if you would like help to address a fear please get in touch via our West of England Coaching and Counselling website.

Lose Weight And Keep It Off With Hypnotherapy

2011-09-05T09:00:00.004+01:00

The most common personal goal I have come across professionally and personally is weight loss.

Losing weight is cognitively very hard with powerful 'feel good' food memories residing in your hippocampus.

Does your weight yo-yo, do you have 'good' weeks and 'bad' weeks and find you are either treating yourself or on a strict regime?

I use hypnotherapy to help clients travel an easier and more balanced journey towards their weight goals.

Contrary to popular belief hypnosis (trance) is not a sleep state and hypnotherapy is used to help you to make changes at a sub-conscious level - including how you see food and what it means to you.

We go into trance many times a day. For example, when we are focusing on a task and whilst relaxing.
Trance is a state of focused attention and is actually very pleasant.

For weight loss hypnotherapy I retrain your mind to create permanent maintainable healthy eating patterns.

We help you put an end to your battling in the war zone between 'good' and 'bad' food and make new associations to emotional triggers.

For example, one client now 'rewards' herself with non-food related treats which she enjoys and gets a serotonin (happy, coping chemical) high from without weight issues.

Typically it takes just 3-4 sessions to reprogramme eating habits - although some people need more than this if there are deeper issues.

In trance I help you to visualise your success - a technique which works very well for goal achievement including weight loss.

On top of this, I provide healthy directives which your subconscious has somehow lost the will to act upon for some time.

Ultimately your success will depend on practising the techniques which I share with you.

Experience also shows that a well-kept food diary works well for most people as do daily meditations and focusing on what you do want - to be healthy and well.

Please let me have your views on this blog and if you would like our help please get in touch via West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Sleeping Problems?

2011-09-02T09:00:00.055+01:00

A client visited me for the first time today and during discussions he revealed that he had not been sleeping properly for some time.

Why is not sleeping properly such an issue?

Whilst we may suffer little negative consequence from the odd sleepless night, over a period of time the negative consequences of sleeplessness will become apparent.

We all know people who are able to function well on less than the generally recommended average of 8 hours per night.

I think you'll agree that the gold test is whether you are able to function well during waking life after a lack of sleep. If not, you may need to take action.

Why is sleeping so important and what can I do to improve it?

In summation good sleep involves two types of sleep that alternate throughout the sleep period:

Regenerative Sleep
REM (Rapid Eye Movement) Sleep

During Regenerative Sleep we rest and restore so that we awake with energy to expend during our waking life.

During the REM Sleep we deal with problems through mataphors i.e. dreaming and resolve them so that 'we have the answers in the morning'. Hence the old addage 'sleep on it' i.e. the issue, problem or decision.

You do dream even if you do not remember them. However, some drugs will restrict or stop REM completely.

If we do not get enough sleep - your sleep needs are unique so apply the gold test above - both types of sleep will be impacted. If this goes on for some time you can run into difficulties.

What stops us from getting good sleep?

You may already know that caffeine in the afternoon / evening, eating a heavy meal or using technology before bed, being too hot or cold may impact your sleeping in a negative way.

Therefore, having a routine such as, going to bed at the same time and avoiding some or all of the above can help.

Other than the above key reasons, you may not be sleeping enough due to worries, problems, unresolved issues, fears, anxiety, stress, anger or depression.

If you are suffering from any one or more of the above your sleep may be negatively impacted to a greater or lesser degree.

If you are suffering from one or more of the above your 'stress bucket' is not being emptied and - left unaddressed - your performance during the day (e.g your productivity at work, relationships with others and your level of self-care) will all be impacted.

One of the best things you can do to restore your sleep is to relax immediately before bed (don't use the TV or work as this actually raises your stress levels) with a hot bath or listening to a relaxation CD.

If you have found this blog useful please leave a comment.

If you would like one of our relaxation CDs and for all of your coaching and counselling needs please visit our website West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Starting Up A Small Business Using Business Coaching

2011-08-30T09:00:00.036+01:00

Starting up in business tends to generate both positive and negative emotions.

On the one hand you feel excited, enthused, passionate and positive about making it happen. On the other you feel daunted, overwhelmed by the amount of work involved and lonely if you are on your own in your venture.

What can you do to best manage yourself and your resources when setting up a small business?

I think the first thing is to remember why you are doing this - What is driving you to set up your small business?

Hopefully, you have conceived ideas about a service or services which you can provide to customers.

Next, I think you need to get organised, realistic and think about the costs involved in setting up your business.

Developing a business plan with support and guidance from an established and successful small business owner would be a good place to start - even better if their business is similar to yours.

Writing a business plan will help you to do your research and ensure you have a viable business proposition.

If you are on your own the next thing to do is to think about your network and resources which will help you to set up your business and get you through the challenging first few months.

It's a good idea to brainstorm and then prioritise all the tasks you need to do in order to set up your business, allocating realistic time-scales for completion.

Perhaps most important of all is to ensure you don't get completely taken over by your new venture.

How will you ensure that you have time to relax, time with your family and time with your friends?

Successful business owners tend to have some boundaries around their work since it is all too easy to get sucked in to working 24-7.

Many successful business owners I know agree that if work is all you do you will never be really good at it.

I have helped many small business owners - particularly in the early days - to build their confidence, get their services clear, market their services and secure paying clients.

If you have found this blog useful please do leave a comment or if you feel alone and want support with your business please get in touch via West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Customised Coaching

2011-08-26T09:00:00.002+01:00

At the end of a coaching session yesterday when I had asked how my client rated the session, he talked about finding that the best thing he experienced in the session was reflection, something he thought that he rarely did amidst his busy work schedule.

Upon further probing my client highlighted specific areas of reflection that had enabled him to think about a particular old and outdated habit which was not serving him anymore.

What clients take away from sessions is completely unique and so what you take away from coaching will be unique to you.

The whole purpose of personal coaching is that it is tailored to you and you can customise it by developing your own ideas on what you want coaching on and the approach which you would like to use to find the answers.

In terms of what you want coaching on, this may be driven by your existing job role, skills, gaps, a particular work challenge, a promotion or working with a new team.

In terms of approach, you might favour non-directive coaching which focuses on posing the right questions and helping you come up with options and ultimately solutions which you own and act on.

Some clients do like some directive coaching - particularly for career coaching and skills acquisition - where the coach offers up ideas and suggestions.

The point is that you can customise your coaching to suit you. It truly is one of the few life experiences where you can selfishly focus on you and your development.

If you sense that there are areas in your life that you want to improve on and change then personal coaching could be for you.

If you think that this may be the case please read my other blogs in particular 'Are You Ready, Willing and Able To Be Coached?' which will provide you with further insight on the coaching process.

If you would like support on your coaching journey we would love to hear from you at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Cash Crunch Coaching

2011-08-22T09:09:00.000+01:00

Are you worried about money?

Whether you have increasing credit card debts, concerns about paying your mortgage or other bills, you are amongst an increasing majority as the economic crisis continues.

Where to start?

I have always been fascinated by money probably because growing up there was little of it. I relished programmes like 'The Bank of Mum and Dad' and Irvin Hall's 'Your Money or Your Life' and was fascinated by the people's spending habits.

I think that focusing on money and showing an interest in things financial is a good starting point.

Financial institutions are starting to get the idea that we want simplicity when it comes to finance and even pensions are set to become more straightforward in the short- to medium-term.

You can now even Google the best savings rates and set up an account online starting with as little as £1 - though you can set your goal at a level you can afford each month.

What about spending?

Well, online often is a good place to start and you may already know about MoneySupermarket.com which helps you to get the best deals on most things.

When I purchase anything over the Internet, I always go for free postage and free returns and check there is a telephone number I can call in case something goes wrong as emails can be ignored.

Spending what you do not need when you are down can be addictive so making a list of other things to do such as going for a walk with a friend or your dog or your neighbour's dog would be an example of a good distraction.

You may find it helpful to record what you spend for a month and then set a budget through finding areas where you can reduce spend. This monthly exercise will help you to see more clearly where you can cut back.

Quite recently a client of mine made a list of 'money saving rules' to keep her on track which include things like:

Order tap instead of bottled water in restaurants
Don't buy takeaway coffee
Make a list that you stick to for the supermarket
Make your own sandwiches for lunch
Have 1 day a week where you do not touch your purse or wallet at all

In a difficult economic climate we tend to panic and feel out of control which makes it difficult for us to think straight making irrational thinking and mistakes more likely.

When you find it hard to see the wood for the trees do something that calms you down - go for a bike ride, watch a comedy, lie down with your eyes closed or take some extended breaths.

This will help you to calm down, see things more clearly and act in a more effective way.

If you have found any of this blog useful please leave a comment.

We also hope that you will visit our site for all your coaching and counselling needs at West of England Coaching and Counselling .

Improving Your Thinking

2011-08-19T09:00:00.003+01:00

How do you think that your core beliefs and 'rules for life' affect your thinking as events happen?

I was recently working with a client who in many contexts in life is positive, pretty flexible and easy going. Then she was involved in a serious non-fault car accident.

After the car accident my client experienced post traumatic stress symptoms including regular day and nigh-time flashbacks following which the same sorts of questions came up in her mind - 'How could that driver be allowed on the road?' and 'I cannot trust other drivers anymore'.

My client's relevant 'rules for life' relating to this were quite rigid e.g. only competent drivers should be allowed on the road - because of course this is not the case and despite the characteristics of the driver - including their being regarded as 'old' - this was a car 'accident'.

These rules for life and core beliefs were causing negative thinking and in turn negative emotions and communication whenever she thought about the accident and in talking with others.

This was reinforcing and compounding negative thoughts in her brain and eventually, unable to control these negative thought and emotions, she came to see me.

As well as negativity around the car accident incident my client had also started thinking about other negative experiences from way back in her life that had seen her rules and core beliefs undermined in some way.

We know that this is the subconscious mind's way of protecting us and causing a 'fight or flight response' - responding with the primitive response patterns of anger, anxiety or depression and sometimes two or even three of these.

Once we identified the contextual core beliefs and rules for life that were negatively impacting my clients' thinking she was able to develop more enabling beliefs and flex her rules in this area somewhat.

We then found that her awareness level negative automatic thoughts occurred less and less and within a few sessions she felt calmer about what had happened to her and wise having found out how her mind worked and how to manage and control it.

Anxiety, stress and feeling low or depressed are lonely disabling feelings which you do not have to bear.

If you would like support in addressing any emotions you are suffering with please get in touch via West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Self-Coaching: Making a Start

2011-08-15T09:00:00.031+01:00

Are you new to personal coaching? Do you want to improve your life?

A good starting point is to have a go at coaching yourself using the following simple process.

First ask yourself the following question: 'What areas in your life are most important to you?' For example:

Health and well-being
Family Relationships
Work
Friends
Finances
Community

After identifying which areas are important to you, score your satisfaction with each area on a scale of 1-10 - where 1 is 'Most dissatisfied with' and 10 is 'Completely happy with'.

The rule here is to scale each area based upon your gut feeling towards them.

Having scored yourself, prioritise your list from 1-6 and if you want to have more than 6 areas that's fine.

For the next 6-or-so days work down the list and take one action which raises your scaling by 1 point.

For example, if your top priority is health and well-being and you scored yourself a 4, what action could you take today to raise that scaling score to 5?

An answer could to this question could be to eat a healthy meal for supper or go for a walk for an hour.

After this period give yourself a week off, then repeat the exercise and until you are consistently achieving a self-scaling of 8, 9 or even 10.

You may not want a week off in between actions but it is there if you want it.

The idea of this self-coaching is that it is quite straightforward and most people find it quite easy to do.

Sometimes, however, motivation, goal setting and taking action require support and there's nothing wrong with that.

If you are some one who likes exercising with a partner, having a personal coach is a similar concept.

A personal coach will support, guide and challenge you to achieve often extraordinary results.

Please let me know how you get on with this exercise by leaving a comment and please visit our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Health and Well-Being Coaching

2011-08-12T09:00:00.000+01:00

Are you happy with your weight, health and well-being?

I think you will agree that when it comes to change these are ones which a lot of people can relate to and are some of the hardest things to manage cognitively.

A coaching session with a client this week prompted me to write this blog and hopefully help you as well.

I think examining your current reality in the following 5 key areas can help you gain a massive insight into improving your health and well-being.

How uncomfortable are you with your current health and well-being?
Psychological and change research tells us that the more uncomfortable we are with our current reality the more likely we are to change it and take action.
Do you have a key driver for improving your health and well-being?
Research shows that if you have a key driver for losing weight you are more likely to achieve your goal.

One of the most common is in preparation for a significant event such as a wedding or holiday.
Do you have rules and beliefs about the world and yourself that impact your health and well-being such as 'I deserve a treat a day', 'I will always be fat' or 'I don't do exercise'? These rules and beliefs are often not talked about and lie deep within your subconscious mind.

Sometimes they can be quite sinister such as 'you will never be able to cope without [insert favourite 'sinning' food]'.

Often rules and beliefs are developed in childhood and are very ingrained by adulthood making them difficult to change.

Have you also noticed that most socialising is centred on eating and drinking? The comfort hungry emotional mind tells us 'why should you miss out?'

Of course we do not have to copy these choices and we do need to be mindful of what we really want.

You know that when it comes to being healthy and well and achieving a healthy weight we need to eat less and do more.
Mindfulness When you are eating really focus on what you are doing free of common distractions such as TV, reading, even talking.

Also get into the habit of asking yourself 'how will I feel when I have eaten this?'
Movement
Discover moving activities that you find fun and 'just do it'. Aim to incorporate movement into your daily life rather than seeing exercise as a formal separate activity such as going to the gym.

Could you walk/cycle part of your way to work, go for a walk at lunch time or do some sit ups whilst watching the news before supper?

We have nothing without our health and well-being and it's therefore top of the list in terms of what is important in your life.

If you want to improve your health and well-being and other aspects of your life through personal coaching please visit our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Change Your Career Direction With Career Coaching

2011-08-08T09:00:00.000+01:00

The Career Coaching topic is one I have been working with several clients on recently.

Are you facing redundancy - voluntary or otherwise - or re-evaluating your work life? If so, career coaching will help you to focus on what you want specifically and what is realistic.

My clients recognise that without career coaching job searching can be unfocused, tiresome and ultimately lacking the outcome you really want - one of my clients referred to this as 'jumping from the frying pan into the fire'.

If you are uncomfortable about facing this journey alone or feel unfocused then coaching can help you with everying from eliciting your aspirations, through to recognising your transferrable skills, building your confidence and helping you to present an influential CV.

This is especially useful if you currently feel institutionionalised after having been in your current role for many years.

In particular, career coaching will help you to avoid the scattergun approach of simply applying for as many jobs as possible which is often unsuccessful because the recruiter detects this.

More than anything, changing your career can be a scary, lonely and challenging time but a good career coach can help to draw out your career objectives - which change throughout life - and help you to achieve them.

If you are facing redundancy, are demotivated in your current career or looking for a change of career direction please do get in touch via enquiries@westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk.

Whether you're being supported by your current organisation or self-funding we have programmes which are both effective and affordable.

Are You Ready, Willing and Able To Be Coached?

2011-08-05T09:00:00.013+01:00

In the last blog post I wrote about the fact that coaching may not be what you need right now.

How do you establish if this is the case? This blog is devoted to a short questionnaire which I use with clients and you can use to find out whether coaching is for you right now by simple answering YES or NO to each of the following questions.

Are you Ready?

There is a gap between where I am and where I want to be YES…..NO…..
I have some time to invest in myself YES…..NO…..
I can keep appointments with myself to work on this material YES…..NO…..

Are you Willing?

I am fully willing to do the work required to get me where I want to go YES…..NO…..
I am willing to stop or change any limiting beliefs and self-defeating behaviours that limit my performance and result YES…..NO…..
I am willing to give new things a go even if I am not 100% convinced that they will work YES…..NO…..

Are you Able?

Coaching is the appropriate intervention for the changes that I want to make YES…..NO…..
I have the patience to take consistent action towards my goal and drive for results YES…..NO…..
I have the desire to continually improve my performance YES…..NO…..
I have the support I need to make significant changes (e.g. organisation structure) YES…..NO…..

If you answered No to 2 or more of these questions, you will need to make adjustments before any coaching you undertake can be effective.

However, if you are ready, willing and able and would like to achieve change quicker and more effectively than you think possible on your own, I would very much like to work alongside you.

To get in touch please visit our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Who is Coaching For?

2011-08-01T09:00:00.000+01:00

A prospective client and I were discussing 'who is coaching for' this week.

Like any change that we conceive of in our life, there are a number of criteria which you need to meet before you can put you plans to change into action.

Perhaps most importantly, your current reality and situation has to be uncomfortable enough to make you want to change it.

It is also important to articulate - and specifically verbally, pictorially and in terms of our feelings - what you want to be, do and have that is different to now.

This helps you - often subconsciously - to think about how you might get to be, do and have what you want. In other words - what you choose to focus on helps you to get it.

For example, you may want to shed some weight because you are fed up of feeling unhealthy or haven't got the energy to play with your children.

You can articulate a specific goal in terms of what you will see and how you will feel when you have lost the weight - your mind will generate ideas for what you can do to achieve your goal.

Working with clients has taught me that the stronger your personal intent - not a boss or your partner's - to change the more likely you are to achieve your goal.

You can strengthen your intent to change by imagining what you want as a real possibility.

To return to the shedding weight the example, imagine yourself playing comfortably with your children will help to strengthen your intent and your motivation to act.

When you are at the start or in the process of change, you may also find it helpful to gain the support of a coach who will help you to stay focused by agreeing milestone objectives and challenging any barriers you have to achieving your goals.

Often before starting work with clients the individual completes a questionnaire - 'Am I ready, willing and able to be coached?' - so that they test their motivation to change, their intent and check they are not trying to achive someone else's goals.

If you have found this post useful and would like to make some changes at work, in your personal life or both, please get in touch via West of England Coaching ad Counselling.

Living Your Healthy Life With The 3 Ms

2011-07-29T09:00:00.000+01:00

I've been working with people for a while now and experience has led me to the conclusion that focusing on three key areas can do you and your mental, phyiscal and spiritual health a lot of good.

I call these areas the '3 Ms' and - in no particular order of importance - they are as follows:

Mindfulness

Mindfulness means paying attention to whatever is going on at this very moment - sometimes referred to as 'being in the zone' and include things like:

Smelling the roses on a walk or watching a deer
Consciously eating your food without doing anything else simultaneously
Actively listening to someone speaking with an open mind
Focusing on writing a report with no distractions
Playing with your child

Why is mindfulness really important to your health? Because you are focusing on the now which is where you are truly alive and not in the the past or the future.

When you think about the past and the future, worries and fears are likely to come into your mind causing some degree of anxiety and negative emotion which are damaging to your health.

Meditation

Meditation is helpful because - like mindfulness - it helps you to focus on the now.

Meditation takes many forms - even day-dreaming counts - and you can join a meditation or yoga class to learn from experienced practitioners.

You can also listen to a relaxation CD or visit a therapist who uses meditation as part of their practice.

Everyone has experienced some form of meditation and so you already know how to do this.

You already know that meditation makes you feel at peace - even gazing out of a train window without thinking of anything else counts.

Movement

Perhaps you are someone who likes exercise or perhaps not. Many people associate the word exercise with going to a gym or something else that 'is not for me'.

I use the word movement to aim to remove this association as it can mean anything which involves moving your body.

In my experience, this term works for even the most 'anti-exercise' individual as long as it meets the 2 following condition:

It's something you enjoy doing i.e. it is fun (I'm sure you can think of a number of things)
It can be incorporated into your daily life rather than being an add-on to an already busy day

Examples of this second condition would be taking the stairs rather than the lift at work, lifting dumb bells whilst watching or listening to the news or going for a walk at lunchtime.

For all but the most debilitating health conditions there is usually something we can do to generate the positive feel-good chemicals - including serotonin (the happy coping chemical that counters depression) and noradrenalin (the motivational neurotransmitter) - which movement helps us produce.

I hope you find this post useful and would love to receive your feedback - just leave a comment or contact me at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Being Happy

2011-07-25T09:00:00.004+01:00

For all of my clients 'being happy' is at the heart of their goals and objectives whether these relate to work, personal or life in general.

This blog lays out quite simply my thoughts on how to 'be happy' or any other state for that matter - peaceful, focused, hedonistic, confident...

States such as happiness are nominalisations i.e. what is happiness to you is different to what is happiness to me.

Firstly, we need to work out what happiness - or peaceful or confidence - is to you in the context that you want it, for example, in your career.

We do this by answering the following questions:

What would you notice if you were happy in your career that you have control over? For example, a different boss may not be realistic if you want to stay in your current role.
What would be different to what you are currently experiencing that you have control over?
What would you see, hear and feel that would tell you that you are happy in your role?
What would you realisitcally be doing if you were happy in your role?

Having identified what 'Being Happy' means to you, in the context in which you want it, the next step is really to simply 'Be Happy'.

You can 'Be Happy' by acting out the answers to your questions over and over.

Repeating these actions habitually creates a neural pathway in your brain and each repetition reinforces it. Hence the adage 'what you focus on is what you get'.

After reading that you might think 'It's too simple. Things just don't work like that...you can't just be happy'.

Learning new habits is difficult - especially if you haven't walked such a path for many years - but you can do it and you will do it if you are 100% committed to achieve your happiness.

Enjoy this journey and let me know where you end up by responding to this post.

If you would like support on your journey sign up for a Complimentary 'Better Results Today' coaching session at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Coach Yourself Confident

2011-07-18T09:00:00.042+01:00

The most common coaching objective includes an individual wanting to increase their confidence at work and in social situations.

It is really important to know that confidence is a learned behaviour, so in order to increase it we need to practice being confident in the same way that we need to practice to acquire any skill such as riding a bike.

A good starting point is to think about things which you are sure of - where you are already confident - as a foundation on which to build.

List these in an 'Achievement Journal' and every time you take on a challenge - at work or socially - make a note in your journal.

At the end of each month you can read through your journal and be proud. Furthermore, noting - or 'journalling' - your achievements in this way will become a good habit which is easy to keep up.

Being confident does not preclude mistakes - it relates to values which you would not compromise on, such as, defending someone whose life is being threatened.

Also lack of confidence is just a label we give ourselves and it not written through us like words in a stick of rock.

Another tip is to create a strong and leading voice in challenging situations which overrides the 'I can't do' voice.

The best thing to do to sabotage your confidence is to try to please other people. Instead, aim to be respected or interesting or even controversial, not liked.

To practice being confident choose to do something daring. For example, a client of mine recently went speed dating and enjoyed it because he met some interesting people.

Presenting ourselves to others in social situations and big groups is not the fondest way to spend time for many people but if you know how to do it you can make it at least more bearable.

Before you enter any challenging situation - like a business networking event or meeting new people socially - assume the tree pose.

Imagine your feet are rooted to the ground, make your legs strong and tighen your core and then pull your shoulders back and smile with your eyes i.e. with a slightly turned up mouth not grinning like an ape.

Ask open-ended questions which start with 'What' and listen as trite and friendly is all people want when they first meet a new person.

Perhaps most importantly when it comes to building your confidence and surviving in difficult situations, create a mental firewall so you can hear and refuse to be affected by others' negative opinions.

Please do let me know if this blog helps you and please visit our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Could Coaching Improve Your Life?

2011-07-15T09:00:00.000+01:00

What have you done for you lately?

Perhaps you are a leader / manager in an organisation and have significant changes to lead and manage moving forwards in a challenging economic climate.

I think it may be helpful to you to explain the most common areas that I provide coaching for so that you can decide if coaching might be helpful to you now.

About 40% of clients have or are about to take on a new role - often with a transformational / change remit requiring upskilling in a number of areas often related to communication, such as influencing, negotiating and delegating as well as requiring them to act as a confidential sounding board for ideas and decisions.

About 30% experience challenging personal and work issues resulting in symptoms such as stress, anxiety, sleeplessness and low confidence.

I help clients to understand how their mind works providing them with a number of tools they can immediately use to gain quick and lasting relief and results.

About 20% feel stuck or at a crossroads in their career, not knowing what path to take to achieve the life they want.

I help these clients to articulate clear goals and objectives, to move at their pace, to be inspired and to achieve their purpose in life.

The standard programme I offer involves six sessions over six months - though some cients prefer a session every every second or third month whilst they still have challenges and goals.

For every client-coaching relationship the objective is to help you to achieve better outcomes, more smoothly and quicker than would be the case on your own.

I would really like to help you to sky rocket your life so please visit our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling where you can book a Complimetary 'Better Work Results Today' Session session.

As an added bonus, I am currently offering website visitors 'The Ultimate Relationship Building Workbook' which contains tips, tools, strategies and techniques which I have successfully applied over two decades in business.

How Your Mind Works

2011-07-11T09:00:00.000+01:00

You may already know that your thinking determines the quality of your life.

Why is this and how does it work?

When we have a negative thought pattern such as 'I am not good enough / not loved enough / not confident enough' these thoughts are converted into anxiety because our minds do not distinguish between what we think and what is real.

There are two main ways in which we create negative thought patterns - Negative Introspection about the past and Negative Forecasting about the future.

For example - 'I shouldn't have said x / should have said y / shouldn't have done z' or 'I won't be able to do x' or 'I won't feel comfortable doing y' or 'I am dreading doing z'.

When our anxiety goes up a number of things happen.

Our serotonin levels drop - the neurotransmitter responsible for us feeling happy and coping - as well as our noradrenalin levels - the neurotransmitter responsible for motivation.

Does this sound familiar at all? When did you last feel anxious or demotivated and what triggered this?

When our anxiety levels go up our intellectual control and our ability to function rationally as an adult goes down.

When our intellectual control goes down our subconscious / unconscious / emotional mind takes over and - according to experts - this part of our mind has the intellectual age of a seven-year-old.

Our subconscious mind always responds with three primitive response patterns which we have inherited from our ancestors - anger, anxiety and depression - and sometimes two or more of these.

Symptoms vary greatly and include stress, low self-esteem, feeling low and self-medicating for example with alcohol.

Our subconscious mind is vigilent, not innovative and always looks at things from a negative viewpoint - looking for the reasons why not to do something so when we are in the 'negative loop' we will not be fed solutions - rather we will we fed all the reasons to justify the initial negative thought.

Most of us do not want to live our lives out as a seven-year-old particularly as at that age we are not great at solving adult problems.

Clearly the key is to challenge the negative thoughts which arise in the first place - even if there are compelling reasons for thinking that way - because the route is always to end up in an emotional childish place.

We need to catch the negative thought consciously - thinking about it or saying it out loud or writing it down.

Next we need to challenge the negtaive thought - is this helpful? The answer is always 'No'.

Then we need to change the negative thought into something more positive - even if it is a challenging belief to come to terms with.

When we have a positive perspective we stay calm and in intellectual control - there is no need for the emotional mind to step in.

The reward for persevering with this technique is a better functioning mind able to find life relatively easy and having a better quality of life.

Please let me know how you get on by leaving a comment or by getting in touch via my website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Improving Our Relationships

2011-06-30T09:00:00.001+01:00

How much time do you spend improving your key relationships?

Is there room for improvement or would you score yourself 10/10 in this area of your life?

If you do score yourself less than 10/10 perhaps consider your most valued relationships - most of us have between one and four - and think about what you can do to move up one point say from 6/10 to 7/10.

Then when you are at 7/10 what can you do to score 8/10 with the person you have in mind and what can you do to score 9/10 and even 10/10.

Many relationships are improved through better communication. Arguably the most important part of communication is listening and being heard.

Let's first focus on your most important relationship - perhaps your partner or child.

When was the last time you really listened to the key poeple in your life without interrupting them or passing judgment on what they say?

One of the ways we improve relationships is asking the important person/people in our life what we can do to make the relationship stronger.

We can then ask the other person if they would like us to reciprocate and let them know what we feel they can do to strengthen our relationship.

The idea is that we actively listen to the other person for about 10 minutes without interrupting, without thinking of a response and without being distracted by other thoughts such as 'I really should be getting the dinner on'.

After 10 minutes we can comment for about 5 minutes e.g. 'Yes I can do that' and have a discussion with the person about what to do next.

Perhaps you cannot do what they are asking but you are willing to meet them half way and compromise in some way. If this is the case say so.

Then you swap over and let the other person know what you need from them e.g 'I feel that we have an excellent relationship with x and y working really well for me...what would make it even better is if this happened..'

Another exercise that works well is to imagine that you are the other person and walk in their shoes in relating to you. What do you see now?

The idea is that looking at you from another's perspective helps you to both be aware of what it is like living with you / working with you and also to think of those changes that you can and are happy to make to strengthen the relationship.

Has this post been helpful to you? Please do let me know or contact me via my website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Listening is the Greatest Courtesy

2011-06-27T09:00:00.002+01:00

Today, whilst working with a client I remembered again those wise words passed onto me by my Nan - Listening is the greatest courtesy.

What is true listening? The client commented 'How hard it is to listen properly...I very often find myself thinking about what to say next in response or to justify or defend or to get my story - what my experience is - or viewpoint across'.

We are not intending to be discourteous when we do this, however, our actions are just that.

My perspective is that since we already know what we think it would be a good idea to listen properly to someone else so we can learn more about them and build a relationship - whether that be with a partner, parent, child, work colleague, client etc.

So how do we do it?

We can practice suspending our own thinking by becoming aware of our breathing.

You can do it now - become aware of the gentle rise and fall of your in breath and out breath respectively.

Whilst aware of your breathing your own thinking is suspended, leaving you free to really listen to the other person.

Try it the very next time you sense that someone in your life needs to talk. Start by smiling and asking what's their day been like.

Then just focus on your own breathing and feel the space that is created to really listen to that person.

How did you experience that interaction? Perhaps get feedback from the other person - was that useful?

When you have tried this out, let me know your experience. My passion is to inspire people and enrich their lives so please take the opportunity to visit my website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Controlling Negative Thoughts

2011-06-22T09:00:00.004+01:00

Can we ever experience only positive thoughts? Maybe. Better ask the Dalai Lama.

You may already know that recurring negative thought patterns [e.g. 'I am so unlucky to have this illness / I am fat / I am hopeless at presentations / I am not good enough...'] cause anxiety because the mind does not distinguish between what we think and what is real.

This generated anxiety causes us to lose intellectual control [your adult age basically] and the uncounscious / sub-conscious / emotional mind takes over.

According to experts this emotional mind has the intellectual age of a 7 year old. Recognise this at all?

Primative Responses

The emotional mind always responds with 3 primitive response patterns that we have inherited from our ancestors - anxiety, anger or depression.

The symptoms can be anything and are unwanted such as not sleeping properly, being stressed and not wanting to go out of the house.

Often symtoms involve us self-medicating and putting something in our mouths such as too much food, drink or cigarettes. Negative thinking is therefore dangerous.

The key then seems to be to think positive thoughts.

Whilst running an executive coaching session today, a client asked what it is like to only experience positive thoughts.

My reply was 'I don't know' because I do experience negative thoughts.

Catch, Challenge, Change

The difference is that I get less because my sub-conscious 'child' knows that the route for negative thoughts is 'catch, challenge, change'.

I explained to the client that this simple technique would help her to experience less negative and more positive thoughts.

The client asked for the fomula which I explained as follows:

Catch the negative thought e.g. 'I am going to do a bad job of presenting on Friday'.
Challenge the negative thought by asking 'Is this helpful?' - The answer is always 'No'.
Change the thought to something more postive e.g. 'I will prepare well on Thursday afternoon and do a dummy run with a friendly colleague. On Friday I will take some deep breaths and focus on my audience.'

This process helps us to get back into intellectual conscious control. It calms us and stops us from becoming too emotional and losing control.

Over time the unconscious emotional childish mind gradually reduces the amount of 'tantrums' it has and we feel more positive and more in control.

Please let feel free to pass on your comments on this blog? Has it inspired you at all?

Alternatively, please take the opportunity to visit my website West of England Coaching and Counselling as I am passionate about improving lives using our mind and would love to hear from you.

A Better Life - Align Your Inner and Outer Self

2011-06-19T15:21:00.007+01:00

A Better Life can be created by us all - by aligning our inner and outer purposes.

Our inner purpose is to be conscious, present, aware and mindful of what is happening inside and outside of ourselves.

Examples of inside awareness are becoming aware or conscious of our breathing or the taste of our food.

You can try this out for yourself and ask yourself - what do you experience?

Examples of outside awareness are 'smelling the roses', watching a pet, hearing the birds and really listening to someone.

You can try this out for yourself - again - what do you experience?

To be truly present means rising above thinking, analysing, judging and labelling and 'Just Being'.

Our outer purposes change with time. Outer purposes work best when they are aligned with our inner purpose.

Sometimes we accept what we do as a means to an end though we can work on achieving a purpose that is enjoyable and we are enthusiastic about.

Imagine yourself inspiring others through your work and enriching their lives, without wanting anything else from it.

You can try this out for yourself - what do you experience?

Please let feel free to pass on your comments on this blog? Has it inspired you at all?

Alternatively, please take the opportunity to visit my website West of England Coaching and Counselling as I am passionate about improving lives using our mind and would love to hear from you.

Detox Your Mind with Positive Thinking

2011-06-12T18:17:00.009+01:00

Positive thinking about the past, present and future improves your quality of life - suddenly everything seems easier, calmer, better somehow.

So what are the keys to thinking positively about the past, present and future?

In terms of the past, aim to focus on the good things that have happened to you and on the good things that you have achieved - for example, an adventure with friends, your children or passing an exam.

In terms of the future, practise visualising the life that you want. What resources do you already have that you could use to achieve this life? What resources do you need to acquire?

In terms of the present, we can increase our positivity by simply smiling and increasing our awareness of the wonderful things around us.

Whenever anything goes wrong or is annoying aim to find 3 ways to make it positive. For example, I miss the train and will be late for work:

I will phone my boss and tell them when to expect me
I will shop for dinner until the next train is due
I will cook my partner a lovely dinner as a treat

I catch the next train and feel good.

Finally, a gratitude and achievement journal is a great way to stay positively focused.

Simply record in writing each day 3 things about your life and surroundings that you are greatful for in the morning and in the evening 3 things you have achieved.

For example, in the AM:

I am grateful for the smell of coffee as I wake
I am grateful for feeling well
I am grateful for my child for making me laugh

And then in the PM:

I sorted out all my paperwork
I went to the gym for an hour and had amazing sauna afterwards
I caught up with colleagues for lunch at the new bistro

Over time your brain will prompt you to think about what you are grateful for and what you might achieve and have achieved before you are consciously aware of it.

Please let feel free to pass on your comments on this blog? Has it inspired you at all?

Alternatively, please take the opportunity to visit my website West of England Coaching and Counselling as I am passionate about improving lives using our mind and would love to hear from you.

Progressive Goals in 3 Steps Using SMART

2011-06-05T11:18:00.040+01:00

Many people set themselves goals but a lot have trouble in actually achieving them.

You may be familiar with SMART which is is a mnemonic commonly used to set objectives in coaching and personal development.

The SMART approach has been around for 30 years and in relation to goal-setting stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timely.

When applied to your goals these 5 ideas can often be used as a 'SMARTER' and better way to achieve progressive change and results.

As an executive coach I often initially see client goals that are focused on the following:

Approach over outcome
Negative issues and what they do not want
Vague definitions

Not surprisingly their goals are rarely achieved and often due to the lack of clarity and motivation used in setting them up.

I start with clients by advocating the following 3 steps to help them towards creating progressive achievable goals:

Make your goals outcome-focused by doing the following...
- Visualise what you want when you achieve your goal
- Ask yourself what will be happening along the way?
- Ask yourself what is different?
Positively state your goal as though you have achieved it...
- For example, it is 31st December 2011 and we have 3 additional clients since June 2011.
- The impact of the 3 new clients is an increase in revenue of X and opportunities such as Y.
- This progress has improved staff morale shown by staff suggestions for further growth.
Make your goals concrete and specific by asking the following questions...
- What is driving this goal?
- What specific outcome do you want from your goal?
- How will you know when you have achieved your outcome?

Hopefully, this post will have left you thinking about the most important question of all - 'Are you achieving your goals?'

If not, it is probably a good idea to ask yourself whether your goals are positive, outcome-focused and specific.

Please let me have your comments on this blog. Has it inspired you at all?

Please take the opportunity to visit my website West of England Coaching and Counselling as I am passionate about improving lives and would love to hear from you.

Work Smarter Not Harder

2011-05-31T23:40:00.008+01:00

Think about this addage for a moment - are you doing it - professionally and personally?

I was reminded of this addage by my dentist whilst having a filling.

I have begun coaching with his daughter principally to address exam anxiety.

He made the comment that his daughter has a tendency to work really hard - though he questionned her actual productivity and how much she is absorbing.

Perhaps we could spend more time planning before we act by first researching the facts and feelings around an issue and consulting with people who have done it before.

The latter could well throw up lessons learnt that will save us time in acting.

What could be the consequences on our health and relationships if we work smart instead of hard?

What about tracking down a 'smarter not harder' person and seeing what you could learn from them?

Please let feel free to pass on your comments on this blog? Has it inspired you at all?

Alternatively, please take the opportunity to visit my website West of England Coaching and Counselling as I am passionate about improving lives using our mind and would love to hear from you.

Work Life Balance

2011-05-20T20:14:00.007+01:00

We hear the term work-life balance a lot - of course it means different things to people.

Some view life as separate from work - for others work is a substantial part of their life too.

For me having balance in life is when we feel good, contented, happy most of the time. If we don't feel good, having one life, we can consider change.

As a starting point, and by way of assessment, I would like to suggest that you spend a few minutes this weekend on a simple exercise that will help you to find the right balance for you.

There are 168 hours in the week. Work out approximately how you are spending your 168 hours currently in an average week and represent this on a pie chart. For example:

Sleep - 56 hours
Work - 50 hours
Driving / Travelling - 14 hours
Spending Time with Children - 7 hours
Spending Time with Partner - 7 hours
Meals Outside Working Hours - 7 hours
Reading - 8 hours
Social Networking / Emails / On-line - 10 hours
Friends and Family - 4 hours
Cleaning / Housework / Garden - 5 hours

What does the result tell you? What do you think you are missing which is important to you? What are you spending too much time on and are not happy about?

Develop your 'to be' 168 hours. What initial steps can you take in the next 24 hours, in the next week and in the next month to move closer to the 'work-life' balance that you want?

Wishing you a thought provoking balancing weekend.

Please let feel free to pass on your comments on this blog? Has it inspired you at all?

Alternatively, please take the opportunity to visit my website West of England Coaching and Counselling as I am passionate about improving lives using our mind and would love to hear from you.

An Inspiring Place to Coach and be Coached

2011-05-19T16:31:00.002+01:00

Enchanting Coombe Lodge, Blagdon.

From January this year I have based myself in Coombe Lodge, near Blagdon, at the foot of the Mendip Hills, which is truly captivating, idyllic and enchanting.

I feel so lucky to have found this place. What a difference from anywhere that I have worked before - mostly open plan offices with views of walls and machinery or the back of someone’s head.

My clients are happy to travel out to this beautiful place in the countryside because the location is so perfect for helping them to create change.

Fellow office dwellers tell me that I have the best room as it’s spacious and with the most awe-inspiring views of trees and woodland.

Since being in this place my coaching has reached a new level as I feel inspired by the location in which I work.

Clients have also commented upon the inspiration they get from just being in this place.

Their goals are stretching and, with a better view of their current reality, they are able to see what is required to move forward.

Ideas and options come more easily and are effectively assessed against some helpful criteria before they decide on what steps to take next.

I am a big fan of Tony Robbins who believes that for any change to occur we must first change our environment.

Thank you Tony for sewing the seed in my mind that led me to this wonderful place.

Please let feel free to pass on your comments on this blog? Has it inspired you at all?

Alternatively, please take the opportunity to visit my website West of England Coaching and Counselling as I am passionate about improving lives using our mind and would love to hear from you.