If it's a while since you took stock of your life and are ready to progress then this blog is for you.
If you think that there may be reasons for holding back on moving forwards in your life then you may want to start there.
Is what is holding you back something big that you need and want to tackle or something small that you need and want to let go of then talking this through with a counsellor is a first step.
Once you feel ready to move forwards here is a helpful framework for charting what you want.
Research and experience shows that when we write down our goals we are more likely to achieve them.
In your journal dedicate 5 pages to your LIFE REVIEW LIST.
At the top of page 1 write 'I will BE' - for example, kind, free, helpful. Underneath this write down some first steps to make this happen for you.
At the top of page 2 write 'I will DO' - for example, exercise, let go. laugh. Underneath this write down some first steps to make this happen for you.
At the top of page 3 write 'I will GIVE' - for example, advice, time, understanding. Underneath this write down some steps to make this happen for you.
At the top of page 4 write 'I will HAVE' - for example, fun, interests, supportive friendships. Underneath this write down some steps to make this happen for you.
At the top of page 5 write 'I NEED' - for example, excitement, variety, risk, to focus on right now. Underneath this write down some steps to make this happen for you.
Drawing up your life list is motivating because it allows us to see what we really want as a unique individual and to take some initial steps that will make a difference and encourage us to keep moving forwards.
Please let me know how you get on with this exercise.
For all of your coaching and/or counselling needs and to achieve the results that you are looking for, please do get in touch through www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk
Saturday, 30 June 2012
Monday, 25 June 2012
Do you need to make a great speech?
If you need to make a great speech or give a great presentation and are feeling shy or rather low in confidence then this blog is for you.
In business you will be called on regularly to speak in public for example to pitch to a new client, at a networking event or at the very least to present to your team.
In life you will be called upon to give a toast, a best man/woman's speech or to a group/team in your extra-curricular activities.
One of the most feared experiences is speaking in front of others and you may avoid these opportunities at all costs.
You may have had bad experiences in the past and always see yourself in the future shaking/going red/forgetting your words etc.
I personally used to hate it and at work would colour up in giving presentations to would-be clients as well as forget my words.
I had some coaching for this and was given a number of tips which I still use to this day and will share with you here.
Firstly, nerves are normal and good to get you to go, act and deliver.
You need to replace the negative forecasting such as forgetting what you are going to say, that you are not good enough and that everyone out there is smarter and better than you.
Think about what value you can give to your audience, what fun and what fun you can have doing it.
In essence focus on your audience rather than introspecting about you.
Tell yourself that you are there to give your audience the gift of your experience, knowledge and expertise.
Your audience want you to succeed.
Like anything the key to success is repetition. The more experience you get the easier it gets.
I always take some deep breaths as well prior to a big presentation which is calming.
There are some practical things too such as smiling, starting on time, dressing smartly, being yourself and finishing on time.
Preparing and practising are a must, as are silences to allow yourself and your audience time to think. Have a beginning, middle and end with a clear flow and a small number of key messages/stories to aid memory recall.
Making eye contact and using stories to make a point brings the subject to life, engages and builds rapport.
Keep your energy up and vary your tone.
Above all avoid tech talk which is boring and add humour without being a joke.
Let me know how you get on and if you want to invest some time honing your skills in this area it will pay dividends. Get in touch via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk
In business you will be called on regularly to speak in public for example to pitch to a new client, at a networking event or at the very least to present to your team.
In life you will be called upon to give a toast, a best man/woman's speech or to a group/team in your extra-curricular activities.
One of the most feared experiences is speaking in front of others and you may avoid these opportunities at all costs.
You may have had bad experiences in the past and always see yourself in the future shaking/going red/forgetting your words etc.
I personally used to hate it and at work would colour up in giving presentations to would-be clients as well as forget my words.
I had some coaching for this and was given a number of tips which I still use to this day and will share with you here.
Firstly, nerves are normal and good to get you to go, act and deliver.
You need to replace the negative forecasting such as forgetting what you are going to say, that you are not good enough and that everyone out there is smarter and better than you.
Think about what value you can give to your audience, what fun and what fun you can have doing it.
In essence focus on your audience rather than introspecting about you.
Tell yourself that you are there to give your audience the gift of your experience, knowledge and expertise.
Your audience want you to succeed.
Like anything the key to success is repetition. The more experience you get the easier it gets.
I always take some deep breaths as well prior to a big presentation which is calming.
There are some practical things too such as smiling, starting on time, dressing smartly, being yourself and finishing on time.
Preparing and practising are a must, as are silences to allow yourself and your audience time to think. Have a beginning, middle and end with a clear flow and a small number of key messages/stories to aid memory recall.
Making eye contact and using stories to make a point brings the subject to life, engages and builds rapport.
Keep your energy up and vary your tone.
Above all avoid tech talk which is boring and add humour without being a joke.
Let me know how you get on and if you want to invest some time honing your skills in this area it will pay dividends. Get in touch via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk
Friday, 22 June 2012
Do You Worry?
If you are a worrier then this very short blog is for you.
If something is troubling you do you ruminate on your worries about things past and in the future?
A really good technique for managing your worries is to allocate time in the day to worry say half an hour and if something plays on your mind outside that time, write it down and tell yourself that you will come back to it later.
This technique puts a boundary around something that is not helpful to you.
When it gets to your worry time get out your notebook.
On the left hand side of the page write down a list of your worries. In of itself this action moves your worries from your emotional mind into your intellectual mind helping to take some of the emotions from your worries leaving you feeling more in control.
On the right hand side write down possible solutions. This is a way of being proactive and doing something about your worries.
Aim to be realistic about possible solutions for example deadlines for doing the solution. You will often over estimate what you can do in a day and a week and often underestimate what you can do in a month or a year.
I hope that you do the exercise in this blog. Please let me know how you get on.
For all of your life challenges support needs please get in touch via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk
If something is troubling you do you ruminate on your worries about things past and in the future?
A really good technique for managing your worries is to allocate time in the day to worry say half an hour and if something plays on your mind outside that time, write it down and tell yourself that you will come back to it later.
This technique puts a boundary around something that is not helpful to you.
When it gets to your worry time get out your notebook.
On the left hand side of the page write down a list of your worries. In of itself this action moves your worries from your emotional mind into your intellectual mind helping to take some of the emotions from your worries leaving you feeling more in control.
On the right hand side write down possible solutions. This is a way of being proactive and doing something about your worries.
Aim to be realistic about possible solutions for example deadlines for doing the solution. You will often over estimate what you can do in a day and a week and often underestimate what you can do in a month or a year.
I hope that you do the exercise in this blog. Please let me know how you get on.
For all of your life challenges support needs please get in touch via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk
Thursday, 21 June 2012
Do you want greater wellbeing?
This blog shares with you some great tips for how to immediately increase your sense of well being.
The best goal for improving your sense of well being is mindfulness where you are aware of and responsive to the here and now.
You can cultivate this sense of well being through meditation.
You can cultivate this in other ways such as going for a walk and being aware of your breath, the smells on your walk, the sounds, through touching things en route, the sights and even the taste of the air.
Whilst on your walk you can think of five things that you are grateful for in that moment. For example, that you are able to walk at all, could be something that you are grateful for.
The Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard, said that 'we walk ourselves into a state of wellbeing'.
Walking helps your breathing, boosts your circulation, tones your muscles and builds your bones. Your coordination and balance improve and a quick turn can burn as many calories as something that you would regards as a higher performing activity such as cycling.
Walking can work for you on many levels not just meeting your need or want to exercise.
You can choose a route that puts you in touch with the world. Is there a scenic route that you enjoy? Travelling by foot leads to awareness and you see much more this way than say jogging and cycling.
You can watch other people - the fast, the slow, people at ease and others looking down.
On your own you can daydream happily or plan or reflect on your day and often walking gives you creative ideas about what to do.
You can walk with someone and talk through goals, problems...
Even if you do not have much time you can incorporate walking into your working day by walking to work or during a break.
If you walk with the aim of increasing your well being and it helps you please let me know and do get in touch about your other wants and needs through www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk
The best goal for improving your sense of well being is mindfulness where you are aware of and responsive to the here and now.
You can cultivate this sense of well being through meditation.
You can cultivate this in other ways such as going for a walk and being aware of your breath, the smells on your walk, the sounds, through touching things en route, the sights and even the taste of the air.
Whilst on your walk you can think of five things that you are grateful for in that moment. For example, that you are able to walk at all, could be something that you are grateful for.
The Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard, said that 'we walk ourselves into a state of wellbeing'.
Walking helps your breathing, boosts your circulation, tones your muscles and builds your bones. Your coordination and balance improve and a quick turn can burn as many calories as something that you would regards as a higher performing activity such as cycling.
Walking can work for you on many levels not just meeting your need or want to exercise.
You can choose a route that puts you in touch with the world. Is there a scenic route that you enjoy? Travelling by foot leads to awareness and you see much more this way than say jogging and cycling.
You can watch other people - the fast, the slow, people at ease and others looking down.
On your own you can daydream happily or plan or reflect on your day and often walking gives you creative ideas about what to do.
You can walk with someone and talk through goals, problems...
Even if you do not have much time you can incorporate walking into your working day by walking to work or during a break.
If you walk with the aim of increasing your well being and it helps you please let me know and do get in touch about your other wants and needs through www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk
Thursday, 14 June 2012
Do You Put Things Off?
Do you put things off that you know would raise your self-esteem and happiness?
If so this blog will help you to get on with those things and feel better about yourself.
Firstly stop beating yourself up. It is common to put things off, changes that require some effort, at least initially. Why?
Usually due to negative forecasting such as 'I won't be any good at it'.
To get yourself into the right mindset where you want to do something you need to strengthen your intent.
We know intent. We may have said a thousand times 'I am going to lose weight'. Intent is when you say what you want and this time you mean it.
And here is the key. You can strengthen your intent any time you want to just by seeing your success as a real possibility.
Sit down, close your eyes and imagine a picture of yourself as you want to be. All the unwanted patterns of behaviour have stopped and everything in this picture is as you want....see it, feel it, experience it. Make the picture bigger, bolder, brighter and when you are feeling really good about yourself leave this picture in the mirror of your mind to serve as an attracting force...believe that you will get there with all your heart.
Your subconscious mind now knows what you want and it will come up with options and ideas to help you to get there.
Remember that if something is worth having it may take time so you may need to be more realistic about your expectations.
Wanting something now can leave you disillusioned that 'it hasn't worked' and stop bothering.
Find different things to appreciate about your journey e.g. enjoying walking in the fresh air to lose weight or having made more time to focus on you.
Avoid over thinking - just do it as the Nike saying goes. You will feel better about yourself.
The key to your success is repetition. The more you do the exercsie in this blog the more successful you are likely to be.
Let me know how you get on and for all of your support needs either professional or personal please visit www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk to work with a trusted authority in people development.
If so this blog will help you to get on with those things and feel better about yourself.
Firstly stop beating yourself up. It is common to put things off, changes that require some effort, at least initially. Why?
Usually due to negative forecasting such as 'I won't be any good at it'.
To get yourself into the right mindset where you want to do something you need to strengthen your intent.
We know intent. We may have said a thousand times 'I am going to lose weight'. Intent is when you say what you want and this time you mean it.
And here is the key. You can strengthen your intent any time you want to just by seeing your success as a real possibility.
Sit down, close your eyes and imagine a picture of yourself as you want to be. All the unwanted patterns of behaviour have stopped and everything in this picture is as you want....see it, feel it, experience it. Make the picture bigger, bolder, brighter and when you are feeling really good about yourself leave this picture in the mirror of your mind to serve as an attracting force...believe that you will get there with all your heart.
Your subconscious mind now knows what you want and it will come up with options and ideas to help you to get there.
Remember that if something is worth having it may take time so you may need to be more realistic about your expectations.
Wanting something now can leave you disillusioned that 'it hasn't worked' and stop bothering.
Find different things to appreciate about your journey e.g. enjoying walking in the fresh air to lose weight or having made more time to focus on you.
Avoid over thinking - just do it as the Nike saying goes. You will feel better about yourself.
The key to your success is repetition. The more you do the exercsie in this blog the more successful you are likely to be.
Let me know how you get on and for all of your support needs either professional or personal please visit www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk to work with a trusted authority in people development.
Paying Attention to You
Is your life journey feeding your soul?
By this I mean are you able to linger in something that makes you feel good about yourself that is not to do with the relentless routine business of life including making money?
You may be lucky enough to love your work - it is still work with demands and deadlines.
Do you pay attention to the most important element of your life - you?
Are you living your life according to your values, what is important to you, such as helping others?
When was the last time that you reflected on what makes my heart light and me feel happy?
What is your meaning?
Who are you and are you being that person?
You are by virtue of being human a creative person whether in a practical way or in a more intellectual way.
Whatever your talents I would encourage you to express them, absorbing and losing yourself in something that gives you meaning.
For me I find real meaning in helping people to change their thinking, their behaviour to give them better results in life - the worrisome and under-confident executive, the warring couple, the individual at a cross-roads in their career - I face these individuals and others like them through my interior life to provide the right words at the right time in the right way so that they can move forward with their fresh insights and perspectives.
What is your passion?
You may be working at it or it might be a hobby?
To have a passion is to have a creative force that guides and steers your life and keep you at a vantage point from which the best opportunities in life are seen and available to you.
Having this internal guide sets you apart from those just going through the habitual routines of daily living.
Perhaps you will take some time this week to ask yourself who are you that is not a machine going through your routines?
What feeds your soul? Is it cooking, acting, writing, making clothes?
Whatever your passion that is perfect for you.
If you have found this blog to be useful please share your thoughts/feelings.
For all of your goals, objectives, results support needs, please get in touch with us via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk
By this I mean are you able to linger in something that makes you feel good about yourself that is not to do with the relentless routine business of life including making money?
You may be lucky enough to love your work - it is still work with demands and deadlines.
Do you pay attention to the most important element of your life - you?
Are you living your life according to your values, what is important to you, such as helping others?
When was the last time that you reflected on what makes my heart light and me feel happy?
What is your meaning?
Who are you and are you being that person?
You are by virtue of being human a creative person whether in a practical way or in a more intellectual way.
Whatever your talents I would encourage you to express them, absorbing and losing yourself in something that gives you meaning.
For me I find real meaning in helping people to change their thinking, their behaviour to give them better results in life - the worrisome and under-confident executive, the warring couple, the individual at a cross-roads in their career - I face these individuals and others like them through my interior life to provide the right words at the right time in the right way so that they can move forward with their fresh insights and perspectives.
What is your passion?
You may be working at it or it might be a hobby?
To have a passion is to have a creative force that guides and steers your life and keep you at a vantage point from which the best opportunities in life are seen and available to you.
Having this internal guide sets you apart from those just going through the habitual routines of daily living.
Perhaps you will take some time this week to ask yourself who are you that is not a machine going through your routines?
What feeds your soul? Is it cooking, acting, writing, making clothes?
Whatever your passion that is perfect for you.
If you have found this blog to be useful please share your thoughts/feelings.
For all of your goals, objectives, results support needs, please get in touch with us via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk
Thursday, 7 June 2012
Perspective and You
This blog is all about gaining perspective so if you feel that your life seems a constant emergency then this is for you.
Richard Carlson's self-help book tells us to 'not sweat the small stuff' and you know that a lot of what you sweat about is small stuff.
Spending too much time and energy on problems can inflate their importance.
Psychologically spending too much time on problems often feeds those problems and keeps them alive as problems.
If you make a firm choice about the direction in which you want to go your own subconscious mind will do its homework and feed you with possible options for your problems and worries.
Quite often you do not need a solution, rather a sense of perspective.
A good question to ask yourself to determine whether it is small stuff or something worthy of your time and energy is 'how much will this really matter a year from now?'
My philosophy is that we will always have problems with the skill being to focus on the big stuff and keep the small stuff in perspective.
Are you creating your own emergencies sometimes?
Clearly you are right and human to be blindsided by bereavement or some other sudden shock which take time to move on from.
Carlson writes 'true happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems but when we change our relationship to them'.
What 3 key lessons can you learn from to get more perspective?
1. Practice being patient - by resolving not to get wound up by what happens you will strengthen your perspective muscle.
2. The world is full of people who think that they are right but does it really matter? By resisting the urge to correct people egos won't need so much defending and fewer conflicts will occur.
3. Practice ditching your own ego - this one is really helpful because when we don't take things personally we are freer and can enjoy the day.
Please let me know how you get on and if you want help and support on this or any other aspect of your work or personal life please do get in touch via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk
Richard Carlson's self-help book tells us to 'not sweat the small stuff' and you know that a lot of what you sweat about is small stuff.
Spending too much time and energy on problems can inflate their importance.
Psychologically spending too much time on problems often feeds those problems and keeps them alive as problems.
If you make a firm choice about the direction in which you want to go your own subconscious mind will do its homework and feed you with possible options for your problems and worries.
Quite often you do not need a solution, rather a sense of perspective.
A good question to ask yourself to determine whether it is small stuff or something worthy of your time and energy is 'how much will this really matter a year from now?'
My philosophy is that we will always have problems with the skill being to focus on the big stuff and keep the small stuff in perspective.
Are you creating your own emergencies sometimes?
Clearly you are right and human to be blindsided by bereavement or some other sudden shock which take time to move on from.
Carlson writes 'true happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems but when we change our relationship to them'.
What 3 key lessons can you learn from to get more perspective?
1. Practice being patient - by resolving not to get wound up by what happens you will strengthen your perspective muscle.
2. The world is full of people who think that they are right but does it really matter? By resisting the urge to correct people egos won't need so much defending and fewer conflicts will occur.
3. Practice ditching your own ego - this one is really helpful because when we don't take things personally we are freer and can enjoy the day.
Please let me know how you get on and if you want help and support on this or any other aspect of your work or personal life please do get in touch via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk
Wednesday, 6 June 2012
Can You Switch Off?
Switching off from your technology and allowing daydreaming is essential for your well being and inducing a sense of calm.
Daydreaming, just being, listening to a relaxation CD allow you time for subconscious reflection and contemplation.
Technology is not bad for you.
Technology is not great when it comes to your thinking.
For example, you may find that writing your ideas in a notebook makes your ideas yours and in your handwriting.
This also allows you time to work at your own real pace rather than through accessing multiple information sources.
What technology cannot provide you with is pen and paper creative thinking, a walk in the countryside, contemplation...
Our brains need to switch off sometimes, to 'clear out the clutter' to make room for the current imperatives in your life.
If you find it difficult to switch off and are experiencing some stress in your life think about committing to one of the ideas in this blog to help you, or something else...
If you would like help and support with your needs please do get in touch via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk
Switching off from your technology and allowing daydreaming is essential for your well being and inducing a sense of calm.
Daydreaming, just being, listening to a relaxation CD allow you time for subconscious reflection and contemplation.
Technology is not bad for you.
Technology is not great when it comes to your thinking.
For example, you may find that writing your ideas in a notebook makes your ideas yours and in your handwriting.
This also allows you time to work at your own real pace rather than through accessing multiple information sources.
What technology cannot provide you with is pen and paper creative thinking, a walk in the countryside, contemplation...
Our brains need to switch off sometimes, to 'clear out the clutter' to make room for the current imperatives in your life.
If you find it difficult to switch off and are experiencing some stress in your life think about committing to one of the ideas in this blog to help you, or something else...
If you would like help and support with your needs please do get in touch via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk
Saturday, 2 June 2012
Do you want to achieve your Goals?
Do you know that effective coaching massively increases your ability to achieve your goals?
An effective coach will help you to reach a specific goal or improve certain skills that you need/want in your professional and/or personal life.
Effective Coaches provide structure, collateral, inspiration, motivation, and guidance for turning your ideas and options into reality.
Really effective Coaches assist clients in working through any mental and emotional blocks and barriers to achieving their goals.
Effective Coaches are usually trained themselves in specific skills, models, techniques, tools and best practices for helping others improve performance and get results.
We are by our natures all goal driven and the journey as well as the achievement of our goals is a key determinant in raising our self-esteem and confidence.
If you are serious about achieving your goals and realise that life is so short that you want to get going, please get in touch with us at www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk to start working with a coach today. We think you'll be impressed with your results.
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