Friday, 16 March 2012

Coaching for Action

Are you wanting to take some action but putting it off for some reason?

Quite often procrastination is caused by some negative thinking such as 'I won't pull it off'.

If you want to overcome this and get on with what you really wish to do then please read on.

First, accept that worry, apprehension, anxiety - even dread and panic - are just mental states that only exist in your head.

Second, recognise your fear when it happens - the feeling in your body, the thoughts of alarm - and verbally describe to yourself what you are feeling.

Even better - write this down as you will then move from emotional to intellectual control of these kinds of negative-thoughts and so start to experience the fear passing. Notice that the awareness that contains fear is itself never fearful.

One technique to help you to overcome all of the subconscious barriers to action, which we assimilate from childhood through to adult life, is to cultivate an inner protector which is highly resourceful.

Perhaps you will develop an inner protector who is reassuring, encouraging, supportive and strong and will  help you stand up to those negative voices in your mind.

It is a realistic, honest, solid, caring teacher or coach who reminds you of the good things about you and your world.

Having an inner protector will help you to draw on your pre-frontal mental capacities to assess the following about the negative thoughts you have:

  • What is the chance that the feared event or consequence will happen? 
  • How bad would it be? 
  • How long would it last? 
  • What could I do to cope? 
  • Who could help me?

Most fear from expectations is exaggerated as your brain is 'hard-wired' to be negative having developed from a starting point that helped early man to avoid being eaten.

Your feeling fearful on the point of or during attack is acceptable. However, it is not when you are caught up with some carrot or stick where it is unbalancing and unsettling.

So, when a fear arises within you, ask yourself the following questions:
  • What options do I actually have? 
  • How could I use my inner resources to move forward with what I really want?

It might help you to practise essentialism by asking yourself 'What are the facts?' rather than letting your emotional mind high jack your intellect and make things up.

Not surprisingly, studies have shown that appraising a situation more accurately leads to greater positive emotions which encourage us and fewer of the negative ones which hold us back (Gross and John 2003).

Another technique to help you to move more calmly through your life is finding a refuge which provides you with some sanctuary and protection so you can let your guard down and build your strength.

For example, my refuge is the countryside around my home where I walk our dog and where I find myself being literally refuelled by Nature. It clears my head for the next challenge.

You can have more than one refuge - potential refuges include good company, certain activities (reading, bathing, exercise to name a few), places and intangibles like a sense of who you are.

Please leave your comment on this blog and if you'd like to discuss your own needs at an initial meeting please visit our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

No comments:

Post a Comment