Are You Living To Your Values?

Do you think there is some disparity between how you are living your life and your values?

I met with a senior manager in a firm this week who was so busy at work that he had not ever taken time to consider this question, let alone answer it.

If you are so busy that you haven't even considered this question, the chances are that what you are doing has started to control you rather than the other way around.

Fine if you are happy.

However, if you are unwell or have started to question 'Who am I doing this for?' then it could be time to ask if you are living your life according to your values.

The starting point is: 'What are your values?'

Your values are: 'What is important to you?'

Examples include health, family, freedom, learning and results.

I would encourage you to focus on your top 5 or so for now.

The next step is to assess your current life against these values by asking yourself the following questions:

• What do I do each day to care for my health so that I am well enough to enjoy my life?
• What amount of time do I dedicate to being with my family and how does this benefit us?
• What am I doing to create freedom in my life?
• What/who/where am I learning from right now?
• What results am I achieving that I am proud of?

Chances are that there will be areas where there is a lack of congruence between what you are doing and what you value.

These areas are signposts for areas that you may well want to change.

The next step is generating a plan to align your values with your life.

For example, if your top value is health what can you do today, this week, this month and this year to improve your health.

If your next top value is freedom what can you do to create more freedom in your life? You will of course need to define what freedom means to you.

For example, if you want financial freedom from an employed job, you will want to think about what your self-employed job could be and draw up a rigorous business plan to ensure you are able to support yourself and any dependents.

You may need a plan to pay off debts before you embark on a journey into the world of self-employment.

It also might be a good idea to include a plan in your business case to go from full-time to part-time in your employed role whilst you start to build up a business of your own.

If you have found this blog to be thought- and action-provoking please leave a comment.

Alternatively, if you need any help or support in this or any other area of your life right now please get in touch through our website West of England Coaching and Counselling.co.uk

Coaching for Action

Are you wanting to take some action but putting it off for some reason?

Quite often procrastination is caused by some negative thinking such as 'I won't pull it off'.

If you want to overcome this and get on with what you really wish to do then please read on.

First, accept that worry, apprehension, anxiety - even dread and panic - are just mental states that only exist in your head.

Second, recognise your fear when it happens - the feeling in your body, the thoughts of alarm - and verbally describe to yourself what you are feeling.

Even better - write this down as you will then move from emotional to intellectual control of these kinds of negative-thoughts and so start to experience the fear passing. Notice that the awareness that contains fear is itself never fearful.

One technique to help you to overcome all of the subconscious barriers to action, which we assimilate from childhood through to adult life, is to cultivate an inner protector which is highly resourceful.

Perhaps you will develop an inner protector who is reassuring, encouraging, supportive and strong and will  help you stand up to those negative voices in your mind.

It is a realistic, honest, solid, caring teacher or coach who reminds you of the good things about you and your world.

Having an inner protector will help you to draw on your pre-frontal mental capacities to assess the following about the negative thoughts you have:

• What is the chance that the feared event or consequence will happen? 
• How bad would it be? 
• How long would it last? 
• What could I do to cope? 
• Who could help me?

Most fear from expectations is exaggerated as your brain is 'hard-wired' to be negative having developed from a starting point that helped early man to avoid being eaten.

Your feeling fearful on the point of or during attack is acceptable. However, it is not when you are caught up with some carrot or stick where it is unbalancing and unsettling.

So, when a fear arises within you, ask yourself the following questions:

• What options do I actually have? 
• How could I use my inner resources to move forward with what I really want?

It might help you to practise essentialism by asking yourself 'What are the facts?' rather than letting your emotional mind high jack your intellect and make things up.

Not surprisingly, studies have shown that appraising a situation more accurately leads to greater positive emotions which encourage us and fewer of the negative ones which hold us back (Gross and John 2003).

Another technique to help you to move more calmly through your life is finding a refuge which provides you with some sanctuary and protection so you can let your guard down and build your strength.

For example, my refuge is the countryside around my home where I walk our dog and where I find myself being literally refuelled by Nature. It clears my head for the next challenge.

You can have more than one refuge - potential refuges include good company, certain activities (reading, bathing, exercise to name a few), places and intangibles like a sense of who you are.

Please leave your comment on this blog and if you'd like to discuss your own needs at an initial meeting please visit our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Leadership Coaching

Are you interested in developing your leadership skills for the future to ensure you are fit for a key leadership role in the next 1, 2, 3 years and beyond?

Scores of employee surveys reveal that staff need and want more from their leaders in order to perform at their best, help their organisation deliver its objectives and keep people in jobs.

With greater pressure than ever in both the private and public sector to achieve more with fewer staff, leadership to maximise the use of resources is of paramount importance.

Gone are the days when staff respond to being told what to do - not in the way they were in the past anyway.

To engage, motivate and enthuse staff and get them performing to their best, good leaders ask them their views and act on some of these.

Good modern leaders involve the idea generators and recognise and reward their success appropriately.

Different leadership styles and approaches are called for and there is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all approach.

If you are ambitious and driven, to feel a sense of enjoyment and fulfilment at work - as well as work at the level you want - demands a high level of leadership skill.

More and more senior leaders are turning to one-to-one tailored leadership coaching to build their skills and achieve greater effectiveness and enjoyment in their work.

Do you feel you need to develop any of the following which are key business skills and approaches for successful leadership:

• Leadership styles and approaches to address current people issues - such as under-performance
• Personal leadership vision and values
• Managing change in your team or organisation
• Pre-thinking difficult conversations with customers, staff and other senior leaders
• Building and cultivating your customer relationships
• Work-life balance - in particular achieving better health and well-being
• Creativity and innovation in product or proposition development
• Improving key processes to achieve optimum staffing levels for your business
• Building a high-performing team
• Emotional intelligence - particularly your self-awareness

Developing a leadership coaching relationship is an enjoyable journey because you can focus on tailoring your coaching programme to the kinds of needs outlined above and your specific leadership requirements.

In particular, you will benefit from working with someone you can trust to help you along your development journey.

For example, most individuals start off with a regular monthly 2-hour coaching session for about 6 months, moving this to every 2 to 3 months after this period.

Leadership coaching should always be moving you forwards, helping you to learn at a faster rate and gain better results than you would be achieving on your own.

If any of the above strikes a chord with you, a good starting point would be to discuss your position with us through our website West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Alternatively, our own coaching relationships commence with an initial Complimentary Coaching Session so you why not get in touch so we can help you decide if leadership coaching is something that you would benefit from.

Wisdom Coaching

Do you want to be wise and enjoy a peaceful life?

Earlier this week I was helping a client to set her goals for 2012 and my client said one goal she wanted to achieve was to be 'more wise in 2012'.

We went on to explore what this meant for her in specific terms as 'being more wise' means different things to different people.

My client explained that she wanted to 'live more peacefully in her own mind' and 'be able to share this way of being with her family and friends'.

My client wanted us to come up with a list of things she could actually do to achieve this.

We achieved her outcome for the session and my client was happy for me to share her 'Wisdom List' with you.

This may not resonate with you at all - so no promises - but if it does please leave a comment. So here's wishing you more wisdom in 2012:

1. Let Go of The Past - Perhaps by practising literally letting go of in your hands whenever you think of something which has happened in the past that provokes negative thinking or feelings.
   
   
2. Relax to Stay In Control of Things - Breathe in deeply into your tummy - like inflating a balloon - and then breathe out slowly as though deflating your balloon.
   
   
3. Live In The Now - Practise seeing, hearing, feeling, touching and smelling what is happening around you right now, clearly using all of your senses preferably.
   
   
4. Be Positive and Optimistic - Rather than negatively forecasting the day (the presentation won't go well, for instance) say to yourself 'I wonder what will happen today and I am curious to find out'.
   
   
5. Be Kind to Yourself and Others
   
   
6. Be Enlightened - Be grateful for what you have that is truly important to you.

For all of your coaching and counselling support needs please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Improve Your Health by Breathing Properly

Are you feeling stressed and want a quick tool you can use to address this?

Most people are upper-chest breathers, areas associated with anxiety and stress.

However, if you start breathing from your stomach this induces calm and a relaxed feeling.

To begin practising this sit back at a slight angle - say in a comfortable chair - making sure your neck is supported.

Place your hands on your stomach and breathe in through your nose to about the count of 7 - imagining that your stomach is a balloon and that you are inflating this as you feel your stomach rise.

After a brief pause start breathing out through your nose to about the count of 11 feeling your stomach deflating like the balloon you have envisioned it is.

Repeat this process 3 times and you should feel much more relaxed and - with a bit of practice - now know how to breathe from your stomach.

When you breathe in you are oxygenating your body and giving it energy from stimulating the sympathetic nervous system.

If you feel soreness in any area of your body take your mind there and breathe into that area to direct the oxygen and energy to that place and help the muscles in that area relax.

Most of us have a tight neck or shoulders so directing energy to these area will help to loosen them.

When you breathe out you are detoxifying and relaxing by stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system.

Just carry out this exercise whenever you think of it, for example, when you get in from work.

Research shows that since breathing is the best tool we have for relaxing quickly it also helps us to stay in control of our behaviours, such as, not giving in to comfort eating. How great is that?

Please let me know how you get on with this by leaving a message.

If you would like to know more about stress and anxiety management then please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Yo-Yo Dieting: Eating, Food and All That...

Are you someone who has always had an issue with food such as yo-yoing between dieting and overeating?

Perhaps you want to work on this area of your life yourself once and for all and maintain your optimum weight.

If this is your plan then here is my list of top tips to help you to get started:

1. Monitor Your Habits - Are you a 'sit on the couch in the evening and eat person?' or do you tend to 'raid the fridge after a bad/good day at work?'
   
   Think about what you might do instead. For example, if you are the first type of person could you watch less TV and when you're watching TV perhaps only have a handful of unsalted nuts instead of a packet of biscuits.
   
   If you fall into the latter category you may use exercise for reward or to 'let go' of a bad day.
   
2. Are You Starving Yourself to Lose Weight  - Are you eating very little and finding that you don't lose any weight? When you try this tactic you are literally putting your body into starvation mode which causes it to hold on to all of the calories you put into your body - leaving you starved of energy but maintaining your weight.
   
   The best tip that I can give you is to eat protein at each of your three meals, such as, low-fat Greek yoghurt for breakfast with your fresh fruit and lean meat and fish for lunch and dinner.
   
3. Don't Cut Out What You Enjoy - You'll find by not cutting out what you enjoy your weight is more likely to stay on track for life. For example, if chocolate is your thing have it just once or twice a week rather than every day and at 100g a time - even better if you opt for dark chocolate with a high cocoa percentage of say 70%+.
   
   If wine is your thing perhaps have a boundary of Friday and Saturday drinking of say two standard 175ml glasses on each of those nights. This will stop you craving and undoubtedly binging.
   
4. Keep Your Eating Varied to Stop Weight Plateaus - The Caveman Diet is best for a healthy diet leaving you feeling full of energy. This amounts to lean protein, fruit and vegetables, nuts, seeds and whole grains.
   
   Why not have whole porridge oats with some fruit and seeds plus spices such as ginger and cinnamon, water then microwave it for a couple of minutes before adding a little Greek yoghurt?
   
   You could have brown rice with chiecken and vegetables and swap your normal jacket spud for a sweet potato lower in starchy carbs and a great source of energy?
   
5. Take Time to Eat and Really Enjoy Your Food - This gives you the time to register fullness so aim to chew each mouthful of food 15 times or so before swallowing. A lot of the digestive process is eased by this so you will avoid feeling bloated as well.

I wish you every success in your goal and would love to hear about your experience.

For all of your coaching and counselling needs please do get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Life Coaching: Making A Decision

Are you thinking about life coaching but not yet at the point of decision?

You may already be aware that life coaching is about helping you to achieve what you want from your work, personal and social life.

How can life coaching benefit you in 2012 in a way that you would not have experienced without it?

For my clients the most regular feedback I receive was summed by a client who said the following:

"In the past I had goals but they were never written down in a way which I knew I would help me achieve them.

"Life coaching helped me to do this in a way which motivated and helped me to get what I wanted.

"It also helped me to create an action plan, asked me questions and recognised my successes in a way which left me energised to get on with the next part of the goal."

Working with a life coach day-to-day can help you achieve your goals and stop you feeling tied down and free you up to take control of your life.

Maybe you want to change careers in 2012, get healthy or find a partner - maybe you want all three.

Your life is so short and precious that it makes sense to invest in yourself by taking on a life coach who can help you to live the best life possible.

I haven't once come across a client who thinks that the investment of time and money in life coaching was NOT worth the results they achieved.

But where do you start? Read through the previous blog Are You Ready, Willing and Able To Be Coached? as this will help you take the first to realising whether life coaching is right for you.

If you find out that it is then please leave a comment on this blog or to find out about more about life coaching contact us through our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Money Coaching

Are you like the vast majority of people who recognise that they do not like speaking about their financial position?

For one of my clients this issue has resulted in her feeling uncomfortable having money and therefore she spends as she earns and has no savings.

Recently she set herself a goal of saving for those things that her and her partner want which are 'bigger ticket' - including a conservatory and a replacement car.

Her beliefs around money including 'I believe I shouldn't have money' and 'Easy come easy go' - among others - were impacting her behaviour.

She has now set herself a new goal 'To get pleasure from saving and to think 'Do I need it?' before spending'.

She recognised that to enjoy life in the present and to plan for the future she needed a balance between spending and saving so she could be proud of herself.

In order to work on her goal we spent time visualising her spending and saving some money and this mindful approach left her feeling more comfortable and more in control.

Would you benefit from experimenting with visualising yourself in this way?

Perhaps set aside some time to sit quietly in a comfortable chair, then to close your eyes and relax your body - perhaps by imagining yourself in some place which you find tranquil.

Then imagine yourself saving an amount that you can contract with yourself each month - perhaps in a savings account - and imagine realising what you are saving for - something for someone else perhaps.

Perhaps you are currently in debt and want to clear that debt. If you imagine this to be the case, your mind will come up with options and ways to help you to realise your goal and get back in the black because it's clever that way.

Have a go at these exercises and let me know how you get on by leaving on comment on this post.

Alternatively, if you're looking for some support in changing your behaviour - whether it's about money or anything else - please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Do You Want To Be Happier?

If you want to be happier then you may be interested to hear what the Greek philosophers thought on this subject.

Without complicating things and going into detail about the thoughts of individual Greek philosophers, I think there is some general agreement from these early thinkers about the factors which contribute to human happiness.

Their thoughts on the subject are outlined and listed below for you to reflect on in relation to your own life:

• See Your Friends Regularly - Those who love you for who and what you are and those who you feel good around
• Freedom - Do you feel free in your life for example to pursue the things that you want in your life such as working at what you enjoy?
• Wisdom - Do you reflect on and deal with your problems and anxieties, have realistic expectations and consider the consequences of big decisions?
• Flexible Beliefs and Behaviour - For example, do you accept pain, loss, hurt and that you can carry on and live your life in a meaningful way achieving fulfilment?
• Confidence - Are you able to stand by your beliefs and not be too influenced by the masses? Do you accept yourself for who and what you are?

A way forward would be to think about whether you agree with their conclusions or not.

If you agree, the next step is to think about whether the factor features strongly in your life.

If it does feature then this is an area to be grateful for and to continue to nourish.

If it does not feature then this may be an area in which you want to develop.

Your options for development include self-development and working with a coach to achieve your development objectives.

If this blog post has helped you in any way let us know how it helped you increase your happiness by leaving a comment.

Alternatively, if you would like support in your goal to be happier then please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Solving The January Blues By Setting New Goals

January is a bleak time of year for many people, driven by factors such as the weather, the post Christmas credit card statement and returning to work after the festive break.

For others, January signals a new year and a time to set goals for the year ahead.

As human beings we're naturally goal-driven and setting and achieving goals is motivational.

But some of us struggle with setting goals because we feel life we're in something of a rut come the start of a new year.

Before you give up, there are a few things you can do to get yourself in the mindset of wanting to set and achieve some goals in the 11 remaining months of 2012.

You can learn to see yourself in a more positive, balanced way by carrying out the following exercises:

• Listing your positive qualities - Brainstorm all the things you like about yourself. Are you smart? Kind? Creative? Loyal? Funny?
  
  What would others say are your good qualities? Include your talents, skills, and achievements.
  
  Also think about bad qualities you do not have and do not want.
• Focus on what you do like about your life - Appreciate the things you like about yourself and your life.
  
  What elements of your work, personal and social life are going well?
• Challenge negative self-talk - When you catch yourself being self-critical or pessimistic, stop and challenge the negative thought.
  
  Ask yourself - Is this helpful thinking? Does it make me feel good? What evidence is there for the thought?
  
  Then change the thought to something believable and positive, for example, 'I feel I am gradually learning about talking through how I feel'.
• Be kind to yourself - For example, have a massage, soak in a candlelit bath or do exercise you enjoy.
• Develop some healthy beliefs - For example, ‘I take care of myself by eating healthy food 75% of the time and by exercising 3times per week' or 'I make a written worry list with possible solutions before I go to bed so I can sleep'.
• Keep a gratitude and achievement diary - Use it daily to record the little things that bring you little bits of happiness each day such as accomplishing something at work, laughing with friends, eating a fresh meal or going for a walk.

Wishing you fulfilment in 2012.


If you find this blog to be useful please leave a comment and if you would like help and support in any area of your life please get in touch with me via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling. 

New Year Weight Loss Goal

The most common New Year's resolution is to lose weight and get healthy.

If this is you and this time you have 100% intent and you mean it then I think that you may want to try the following to set you on your way to achieving your goal.

Our beliefs and values drive our behaviours. Knowing this you can start to work on your weight loss goal.

1. Start by writing down all of the beliefs you currently have which are driving the old unwanted behaviour of eating too much and not exercising. For example:

• I won't be able to lose weight
• I don't have time to exercise
• When I feel bad I eat
• When I feel I deserve a reward I eat
• I need sugar to get through the day
• My boss drives me to eat a lot of chocolate

Keep brainstorming to identify the beliefs which you think have led to your being where you are.

2. Now write down some different beliefs that you are motivated by and which you think are realistic for you and will help you to achieve your goal. For example:

• Sugar is toxic and does not fuel my body so I eat little of it
• I eat to fuel my body with whole fresh foods including fruit, veg, fish, poultry, eggs, nuts and whole grains like seeded bread and porridge oats
• Eating healthy at least 75% of the time makes me feel energised so I can do want I want in the day
• I notice hunger as my tummy rumbles and I feel empty
• I always pause before I put something in my mouth and think about the consequences
• When I eat out I am happy to order 'off menu' at times so I feel in control

Keep brainstorming new, realistic, motivating beliefs that you personally can believe in.

Once your list is complete write them on a card for your purse or wallet and put another on the fridge or food cupboard.

Now, read your new beliefs each day for at least a couple of weeks to allow the new beliefs to become embedded in your subconscious mind.

These new beliefs will help to drive new behaviours which will assist you in achieving your weight loss goal.

Please do let us know if this blog has been useful by posting a comment and if you would like assistance with this or any other goal please consider us as your support resource and get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Visualisation Is Key To Making Your Changes Stick

Do you ever wonder why that despite your best intentions the changes you intended to make, started to make or made have not been sustained?


For example, changing a way of working, being a healthy weight or going to bed at a reasonable time.

This is such a common problem for a number of clients I have recently started working with, I decided to write a blog about a technique which I have found invaluable in helping make these kinds of changes stick.

That technique is Visualisation.

The idea is that you visualise what you do want - i.e. focus on what you want - and your subconscious mind then knows what you want and can help by coming up with ways to achieve your goal.

You can do this on your own or with help and you will know what you need and what works for you intuitively.

For example, if you have always tended to 'think in pictures' this may come easier for you and you may find that you can be self-sufficient in terms of visualisation.

On the other hand, you may be used to thinking in terms of words or feelings and may need some help with this technique.

Here is a practical exercise for you to try and something that I do very often at the start of each day - even before getting out of bed.

Close your eyes to help you to focus and imagine you are watching a film of you as you want to be - for example, at your target weight and size.

Watch the other you doing the things that you easily do in your daily life, such as, getting dressed, walking the children to school and so on.

Imagine this other you also doing the things you want to be able to do, such as, eating when hungry, enjoying moving around regularly and being in control of your emotions and press your mental pause button each time you start to feel upset.

Notice how this other you moves, carries themselves, looks and how other people respond.

Then step into the film taking the new behaviours into yourself.

Go through a typical day with the new thinking and behaviours and consider how things are going to be better now.

The key to successfully getting change to stick is to repeat this daily until you achieve your goal and then as often as you feel is necessary.

Each repetition of your visualisation creates a neural pathway in the brain with each further repetition reinforcing it.

In the previous example, as you think of yourself as a healthy weight and size you are sending signals to your unconscious mind to behave as a healthy person, with lots of new habits that help you to maintain that.

Visualisation of you having achieved your goals is very powerful in helping you to achieve them as well as sustaining them and this has to be a worthwhile exercise.

Please let me know how you get on by leaving a comment and get in touch if you would like help with achieving and maintaining those changes which are important to you via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

All Senior Managers Need A Personal Coach

Are you a Senior Manager in an organisation?

If you are, you may or may not be aware of your significance in terms of organisational performance.

I think, of all the layers within an organisational hierarchy, senior managers impact the business more than any other tier.

Senior managers influence the strategic direction of the business as well as the performance of more junior managers and staff.

Senior managers are being made more and more accountable for results - often in the form of key performance indicators (KPIs) or metrics such as, revenue targets, budget targets, people targets and so on.

Being a senior manager in today's high change transformation organisational agenda will feel at times stressful and onerous whilst often satisfying as it can help you achieve your ambitions.

Senior managers supported by an executive coach give good gearing for their organisation in that their performance impacts the performance of many others, including, line managers, staff and more senior directors or partners in the business.

Unless you are perfect - and few people are - the likelihood is that you will have development needs identified through your performance management infrastructure which would benefit from a bespoke individual programme best met by working with an executive coach (as opposed to going on a generic training course).

In particular, the non-technical part of your development - your personal competencies - are best met through a combination of coaching, group support and self-development - such as relevant reading.

Leadership coaching is on the increase and covers a multitude of skills including the following areas:

• Vision and goal setting
• Influencing and negotiating
• Decision-making
• Managing poor performance
• Handling conflict
• Delegation
• Assertiveness
• Confidence
• Presentation skills

If you are an ambitious senior manager, who also recognises your scope for further development, and are keen to explore this we would like to sign up for one of our complimentary 'Better Results Today' coaching sessions.

During these sessions we can discuss and explore your strengths and areas for development and you can sign up by simply filling in the online form on our Complimentary Coaching Sessions page on our website.

Alternatively, you can get in touch with us via email at enquiries@westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk or via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Couples Coaching and Counselling

Is your significant relationship in need of work? Are you aware that you have started to exist within your relationship or become two managers of a household?

If this sounds familiar you will want to take action before one or both of you decide to leave the relationship. If that is not what you want here are 5 tips to get you started:

1. Set some achievable goals for your relationship, together. For example, we will go to bed at the same time at least 3 nights per week or we will have a date night at least once a fortnight.
   
2. Look at the way you are spending your time versus what you actually want to spend your time doing. Think of options which will allow you to spend more time with your partner. For example, hiring a cleaner or having stricter rules on your children's bedtime routine.
   
3. Consider the communication weaknesses between you and consider how you can communicate better. For example, rather than just communicate 'to do' lists, check in with your partner when you come home from work, by asking something like 'What has been good in your day?'. Perhaps accompany this with a hug.
   
4. Think about your relationship as the two of you being on a journey along which you aim to develop and get better at playing your part in. Think to yourself about what you can do better and give more of what your partner would appreciate.
   
5. Sit down once a month and review your relationship that month. Look at what has worked (listen to your partner first) and made them happy and find out what could you do more of and less of whicih would improve your relationship.

We see many couples who recognise that relationships need work - just like work needs work - if you are to be any good at it.

I think that if you can work at your relationship and change things so you both feel that your needs are being met you can often avoid a painful break-up whilst at the same time developing into a better person.

Preventing unnecessary break-ups is something we are very good at.

If you would like support in your endeavours and "engage in a process that is solution-focused and enjoyable" (a client's words) then please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling, email us at enquiries@westofenglandcoachingandcounselling or call our confidential answering service on 01761 237 400.

Gearing up for Change in 2012

Do you like to set New Year's resolutions so that you have a good set of goals to motivate you for the year ahead? Even better - goals that contribute to your life aims.

Perhaps this year you did not set goals or set them only to abandon them part way through.

Perhaps you did set goals and have achieved them.

Now is the time to start taking stock of what went well for you in 2011 and what you want to achieve in the coming year.

To help you with this task I will draw on a client case study.

Start with a list of areas of your life that are important to you.

My client for this case study listed: Health, Work, Relationships, Finances, Hobbies and Community. You will make your own list which may be different.

I asked her then to think about what she had achieved in 2011 within each of these 'important' values areas.

Again she made a list. For example, against Health she wrote:

• Started working out 3 times per week
• Reduced drinking alcohol to 1-2 nights a week with no more than 2 standard glasses of wine
• Adhered to a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner pattern without late-night eating

Once complete I asked her to scale each area from 0-10 with 10 representing the high strength end.

Then I asked her to think about what she would like to leave as her legacy and what she would aim to achieve in 2012 towards that end.

For example, within relationships she said her legacy would be to have been a wise counsel to her family and friends.

With this in mind her goal for Relationships for 2012 was to reach out to every family member and friend at least once a month - to ask them questions about them, provide a listening ear and support where she could help.

My client also reviews her goals every 2 months with my support, updating and amending them as required. She intends to continue with this approach in 2012.

I would like to invite you to have a go at this exercise yourself. If you find it helps you, please leave a comment.

If you would like help reviewing your last 12 months and planning 2012 please get in touch with via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Career Coaching - Checklist

So you want to get in control of your career. Where do you start?

Start with your career goals and then progress with a strategy or approach and an action plan.

Career Goals:

• What would you like to achieve long-term, at the height of your career - your ultimate ambition?
• What about medium-term over - say the next five years?
• What about in the short-term - say 12-24 months?

Approach:

Start with a self-assessment. What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing?

If you are interested you might complete a working styles questionnaire such as Myers Briggs Type Indicator.

Action Plan:

Is your CV up to date, 1-2 pages long and are its content geared to the roles you are seeking in terms of your results to date and your capabilities (skills, knowledge and competencies)?

Do you have a good cover letter template?

What verbal self-presentation statement do you have off-pat to use with potential employers?

What will you do to prepare for an interview?

I hope this checklist is of use to you in managing your career. Please let us know how you get on and if you would like assistance please contact us via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Coaching to achieve your potential

Do you feel as though you could be doing much better in your professional working life and yet feel stuck and unsure of how to deal with this?

Are you frustrated working for others who seem to take all of the recognition for work that you deliver?

Do you think that you are achieving a small fraction of your potential?

A good personal coach will help you to clearly articulate what you want from your professional life over the long, medium and short term.

A good personal coach will help you to identify where you are currently in relation to your ambitions and goals and help you to address any barriers to your moving forwards, in particular limiting beliefs and confidence issues.

A good personal coach will help you to develop an action plan and interventions that will help you to achieve your long-, medium- and short-term ambitions and goals.

A good coach will provide you with tools and techniques to help you to get where you want to go at a pace that is right for you and to ease you into making the changes you will be making.

A good coach will provide you with optimum levels of support and challenge so you can achieve your potential, which will change as you progress in achieving your ambition and goals.

At West of England Coaching and Counselling, we all experience excellent coaching support as well as providing excellent coaching support to our clients.

We know that coaching helps us to achieve extraordinary results and we want the same for you. We are passionate about you achieving your potential and what you deserve.

What dreams would you like to make a reality through congruent goals, objectives and action plans?

You are likely to be somewhat successful now and with the help of an experienced coach you can look forward to taking the next steps up the ladder in your professional life or move careers or maximise your current opportunity.

Whatever your situation we will help you to move onwards and upwards.

Why not make a positive start in 2012 and get in touch with me personally via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling for an investment in your future.

Coaching For Solutions To Relationship Issues

Do you have what seems to you to be an intractable problem which involves other people either professionally or personally?

In certain areas of life, such as, engineering, IT and medicine a problem focus is required so that weaknesses and what went wrong can be understood before a solution can be put in place.

Increasingly in life the most interesting and potentially significant problems are about people - especially their difficulties and challenges in communicating with each other.

Change programmes at work show that the Number 1 challenge is most often communication between the workforce.

Research also shows that when it comes to people issues analysis of the problem rarely assists in finding the solution.

Rather, by focusing on the problem you become problem-focused with an excellent strategy for defining it.

Understanding why things are like they are does little to help you to decide what to do next.

Negative emotions brought about by people interaction issues, such as fear, anger, frustration, feeling overwhelmed and misunderstood do not pave the way for a clear solution.

Following the 'What you focus on is what you get', neuroscience helps us to glean that focusing on what the solution is can help enormously with problems relating to people interactions.

The solutions-focused approach is used in all of our work. We start with some initial questions to elicit the issues as you see and experience them and then move forward to articulate specifically what you do want - your goals and objectives - in positive and measurable terms.

We move forward by scaling where you are now and identifying what is already good and what is already being done right.

This helps us identify what already works for you - so you can aim to do more of it - as well as highlighting resources, strengths which can be used to move further forwards to help you gradually achieve your goals and objectives at your own pace.

We also work on the premise that problems rarely happen in all contexts. Identifying times when problems do not occur for you helps us to think about transferring this knowledge, skills and so on to other contexts where the problem does happen for you.

One example of this came to light for a client of mine last night when he realised he felt calm and in control the days after a good night's rest when he was not up until 1am emailing.

This had the knock-on effect of him being calmer with his wife and children the next day which subsequently helped his wife feel warmer towards him, more supportive and so on.

The solutions-focused approach is a positive and pragmatic way to progress with people issues and problems communicating and interacting.

Your challenge is to apply this approach in your own life and if you so wish let us know how you get on.

Our mission is to teach you an approach which you will find useful again and again in your life.

If you would like to know more about receiving solutions focused coaching or counselling please visit our website to see our full range of services West of England Coaching and Counselling.

How Do I Change When I Have 'Failed' In The Past?

Making a change in your life I think is predominantly down to 2 interlinked factors.


The first is your motivation and the second your confidence in terms of whether you think you will be able make the change you are looking for which in itself is usually impacted by your previous experiences.

For example, if you want to change the way you look and feel - and possibly what people say to you - by losing weight.

You may have attempted this many times before but ultimately you have always ended back at your starting weight or perhaps even heavier.

Your confidence is therefore low in this regard because previous experience tells you that you 'have failed' and as a result your motivation to change is also at a low.

So what do you do? Ignore the thing you want to change - your weight in this case - and continue to be dissatisfied and disrespectful of yourself?

Unwittingly, this impacts other areas of your life. For example, you wear clothes that are 'frumpy' and this negatively impacts your self-esteem.

This then impacts your work - perhaps how you communicate - such as holding back at meetings, not asserting yourself and so on.

The good news is that if you are reading this then you are demonstrating some real commitment to positive change.

More good news...

You can strengthen your commitment to change by strengthening your intent.

We know intent.

Think of a time when you said you were going to do something, such as, go to the gym, and this time you meant it and you did it.

And you can strengthen your intent so that this current change you want to make happens.

How?

By following a strategy put forward by leading life coach Anthony 'Tony' Robbins ('By standing on the shoulders of giants and success leaves clues') which has worked for others and I think includes the following 4 key criteria for success:

1. Exploring in full what is driving this change you want to make and asking yourself questions including:
   
   What will happen if I do make the change? What won't happen if I don't make the change? What will be so much better when I make the change? If I don't make the change what will be the impact on my personal, work and social life?
   
   You know you are making progress when the prospect of not changing is so uncomfortable that you feel that you must and will change.
   
2. Having a positive, specific and measurable goal that is realistic, sustainable and set over a practical time period. Aligned, if possible, with a key event that you want to achieve your goal by, such as, a key work or family event
   
3. By imagining yourself having achieved your goals and seeing your success as a realistic possibility.
   
   For example, it is February 2nd, 2012, the day of x work event and I have reached my target weight of 12 stone.
   
   As I wake I feel fantastic because I am seeing people this evening that I haven't seen for some time and I know I will feel great when they say how healthy and well I look.
   
   As I get dressed in front of the mirror I see a person who looks after themselves and I'm absolutely delighted to be wearing a fitted suit which flatters my physique. I give myself an approving smile as I stand tall and look confident...........
   
4. There is an old adage that every journey begins with the first step. This is the biggest step the step of any decision.
   
   My message here is to go at your own pace, taking a small step each day such as....
   
   Day 1: Get a pedometer and track the number of steps I take
   Day 2. Beat yesterday's steps by 300.
   
   Many people try to do it all at once and end up failing. Aim to make changes that you can sustain and build into your life without having to do something that you will resent, such as, taking a formal gym programme

So have a go at this strategy and let me know how you get on. Of course, if you want support in achieving your goal we are 100% committed to help you so do get in touch via our website West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Executive Coaching: Acquiring New Skills For New Roles and Challenges

I was inspired to write this blog post after a session with an executive client today who is in a new role with fresh challenges and needs to develop their skills to make the most out of this opportunity.

My client wanted to work on acquiring these new skills one-to-one because:

1. There was no training course that offered her the specific skills she wanted in one programme
   
2. She wanted an 'expert' to focus solely on her to speed up results

We discussed how we would use our 2 hours together by first focusing on what she would leave our session with for it to have been considered a success.

We developed a goal and objectives for the session which focused on skills for developing a productive team and addressing current conflicts.

For example, I shared with my client a tool for providing feedback which builds motivation, helps to develop staff and improve their performance.

We then chose to role-play using the tool in practice. First, I acted out her role for demonstration purposes and then she followed by acting out her own role.

This reminded me how well one-on-one coaching works for executives who acquiring new skills which are not always easily labelled or neatly boxed into a traditional training course.

Perhaps you can use this blog to practice new skills with a trusted colleague. Please let me know how you get on.

If you would like support in this or any other area of personal and career development please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling - Executive Coaching.