Money Coaching

Are you like the vast majority of people who recognise that they do not like speaking about their financial position?

For one of my clients this issue has resulted in her feeling uncomfortable having money and therefore she spends as she earns and has no savings.

Recently she set herself a goal of saving for those things that her and her partner want which are 'bigger ticket' - including a conservatory and a replacement car.

Her beliefs around money including 'I believe I shouldn't have money' and 'Easy come easy go' - among others - were impacting her behaviour.

She has now set herself a new goal 'To get pleasure from saving and to think 'Do I need it?' before spending'.

She recognised that to enjoy life in the present and to plan for the future she needed a balance between spending and saving so she could be proud of herself.

In order to work on her goal we spent time visualising her spending and saving some money and this mindful approach left her feeling more comfortable and more in control.

Would you benefit from experimenting with visualising yourself in this way?

Perhaps set aside some time to sit quietly in a comfortable chair, then to close your eyes and relax your body - perhaps by imagining yourself in some place which you find tranquil.

Then imagine yourself saving an amount that you can contract with yourself each month - perhaps in a savings account - and imagine realising what you are saving for - something for someone else perhaps.

Perhaps you are currently in debt and want to clear that debt. If you imagine this to be the case, your mind will come up with options and ways to help you to realise your goal and get back in the black because it's clever that way.

Have a go at these exercises and let me know how you get on by leaving on comment on this post.

Alternatively, if you're looking for some support in changing your behaviour - whether it's about money or anything else - please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Do You Want To Be Happier?

If you want to be happier then you may be interested to hear what the Greek philosophers thought on this subject.

Without complicating things and going into detail about the thoughts of individual Greek philosophers, I think there is some general agreement from these early thinkers about the factors which contribute to human happiness.

Their thoughts on the subject are outlined and listed below for you to reflect on in relation to your own life:

• See Your Friends Regularly - Those who love you for who and what you are and those who you feel good around
• Freedom - Do you feel free in your life for example to pursue the things that you want in your life such as working at what you enjoy?
• Wisdom - Do you reflect on and deal with your problems and anxieties, have realistic expectations and consider the consequences of big decisions?
• Flexible Beliefs and Behaviour - For example, do you accept pain, loss, hurt and that you can carry on and live your life in a meaningful way achieving fulfilment?
• Confidence - Are you able to stand by your beliefs and not be too influenced by the masses? Do you accept yourself for who and what you are?

A way forward would be to think about whether you agree with their conclusions or not.

If you agree, the next step is to think about whether the factor features strongly in your life.

If it does feature then this is an area to be grateful for and to continue to nourish.

If it does not feature then this may be an area in which you want to develop.

Your options for development include self-development and working with a coach to achieve your development objectives.

If this blog post has helped you in any way let us know how it helped you increase your happiness by leaving a comment.

Alternatively, if you would like support in your goal to be happier then please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

Gearing up for Change in 2012

Do you like to set New Year's resolutions so that you have a good set of goals to motivate you for the year ahead? Even better - goals that contribute to your life aims.

Perhaps this year you did not set goals or set them only to abandon them part way through.

Perhaps you did set goals and have achieved them.

Now is the time to start taking stock of what went well for you in 2011 and what you want to achieve in the coming year.

To help you with this task I will draw on a client case study.

Start with a list of areas of your life that are important to you.

My client for this case study listed: Health, Work, Relationships, Finances, Hobbies and Community. You will make your own list which may be different.

I asked her then to think about what she had achieved in 2011 within each of these 'important' values areas.

Again she made a list. For example, against Health she wrote:

• Started working out 3 times per week
• Reduced drinking alcohol to 1-2 nights a week with no more than 2 standard glasses of wine
• Adhered to a healthy breakfast, lunch and dinner pattern without late-night eating

Once complete I asked her to scale each area from 0-10 with 10 representing the high strength end.

Then I asked her to think about what she would like to leave as her legacy and what she would aim to achieve in 2012 towards that end.

For example, within relationships she said her legacy would be to have been a wise counsel to her family and friends.

With this in mind her goal for Relationships for 2012 was to reach out to every family member and friend at least once a month - to ask them questions about them, provide a listening ear and support where she could help.

My client also reviews her goals every 2 months with my support, updating and amending them as required. She intends to continue with this approach in 2012.

I would like to invite you to have a go at this exercise yourself. If you find it helps you, please leave a comment.

If you would like help reviewing your last 12 months and planning 2012 please get in touch with via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.

How Do I Change When I Have 'Failed' In The Past?

Making a change in your life I think is predominantly down to 2 interlinked factors.


The first is your motivation and the second your confidence in terms of whether you think you will be able make the change you are looking for which in itself is usually impacted by your previous experiences.

For example, if you want to change the way you look and feel - and possibly what people say to you - by losing weight.

You may have attempted this many times before but ultimately you have always ended back at your starting weight or perhaps even heavier.

Your confidence is therefore low in this regard because previous experience tells you that you 'have failed' and as a result your motivation to change is also at a low.

So what do you do? Ignore the thing you want to change - your weight in this case - and continue to be dissatisfied and disrespectful of yourself?

Unwittingly, this impacts other areas of your life. For example, you wear clothes that are 'frumpy' and this negatively impacts your self-esteem.

This then impacts your work - perhaps how you communicate - such as holding back at meetings, not asserting yourself and so on.

The good news is that if you are reading this then you are demonstrating some real commitment to positive change.

More good news...

You can strengthen your commitment to change by strengthening your intent.

We know intent.

Think of a time when you said you were going to do something, such as, go to the gym, and this time you meant it and you did it.

And you can strengthen your intent so that this current change you want to make happens.

How?

By following a strategy put forward by leading life coach Anthony 'Tony' Robbins ('By standing on the shoulders of giants and success leaves clues') which has worked for others and I think includes the following 4 key criteria for success:

1. Exploring in full what is driving this change you want to make and asking yourself questions including:
   
   What will happen if I do make the change? What won't happen if I don't make the change? What will be so much better when I make the change? If I don't make the change what will be the impact on my personal, work and social life?
   
   You know you are making progress when the prospect of not changing is so uncomfortable that you feel that you must and will change.
   
2. Having a positive, specific and measurable goal that is realistic, sustainable and set over a practical time period. Aligned, if possible, with a key event that you want to achieve your goal by, such as, a key work or family event
   
3. By imagining yourself having achieved your goals and seeing your success as a realistic possibility.
   
   For example, it is February 2nd, 2012, the day of x work event and I have reached my target weight of 12 stone.
   
   As I wake I feel fantastic because I am seeing people this evening that I haven't seen for some time and I know I will feel great when they say how healthy and well I look.
   
   As I get dressed in front of the mirror I see a person who looks after themselves and I'm absolutely delighted to be wearing a fitted suit which flatters my physique. I give myself an approving smile as I stand tall and look confident...........
   
4. There is an old adage that every journey begins with the first step. This is the biggest step the step of any decision.
   
   My message here is to go at your own pace, taking a small step each day such as....
   
   Day 1: Get a pedometer and track the number of steps I take
   Day 2. Beat yesterday's steps by 300.
   
   Many people try to do it all at once and end up failing. Aim to make changes that you can sustain and build into your life without having to do something that you will resent, such as, taking a formal gym programme

So have a go at this strategy and let me know how you get on. Of course, if you want support in achieving your goal we are 100% committed to help you so do get in touch via our website West of England Coaching and Counselling.