Now, ask yourself the following questions (they work for me and I truly was a big stress-head!):
- What am I reacting to?
- What is it that I think is going to happen here?
- Is this fact?
- What's the worst (and best) that could happen? What's most likely to happen?
- What would I like to happen - my outcome?
- How helpful is it for me to think this way?
- Am I getting things out of proportion?
- Is it worth it?
- How important is this really? How important will it be in a month's time?
- What meaning am I giving this situation?
- Can I see that this meaning is inflexible?
- Am I overestimating the threat?
- Am I underestimating my ability to cope?
- Have I got my ‘stress-head’ on?
- What do I look like to other people? How am I affecting them?
- Am I mind-reading what others might be thinking?
- Am I believing I can predict the future?
- Is there another way of looking at this?
- What advice would I give someone else in this situation?
- Am I putting more pressure on myself?
- Just because I feel bad, doesn't mean things really are bad.
- Can I do things any differently here?
- How much can I control in this situation? What is outside of my control?
- What changes (however small) can I make to those things that I am able to control?
- What do I want or need from this person or situation? What do they want or need from me? Is there a compromise?
- What would be the consequences of responding the way I usually do?
- Is there another way of dealing with this?
- What would be the most helpful and effective action to take? (for me, for the situation, for the other person)
- What could I gain/lose?
- What will I do?
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