Are you serious about increasing your personal effectiveness?
If you are then you want to get the right support to increase your results.
In September 2011 People Management (the magazine of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development), Rob MacLachlan gives a book review for James Scouller's The Three Levels of Leadership.
The book discusses public actions leaders take in a group setting, their private actions as leaders in relation to individuals and personal and a leader's own psychological, moral and technical actions and its effect on behaviour.
MacLachlan rightly points out that the personal leadership aspect - acting confidently and without fear as a leader - is often the hardest part to master.
Scouller says 'we all have unconscious limiting beliefs and defensive behaviours which block our full potential, authentic expression and joy in our work'.
MacLachlan questions this whilst Scouller offers techniques for facilitating self-awareness and change 'whether it is realistic for the process of deep psycho-spiritual change to be navigated solely with the help of a book, however good'.
Maclachlan adds that 'few people would have the discipline or self-awareness to undertake (personal change) without a good executive coach, ideally with a psychotherapeutic training'.
I think it is very difficult - if not impossible - to be completely objective about your own stuff.
I have a coach without whom I doubt I would have made the personal changes I have made and continue to make in order to achieve my goals - personal, professional, contributional and financial.
A good coach who is able to help you to make changes will always facilitate your changes at a subconscious level and address the beliefs, values, distorted thinking and rules for life which are driving how you feel and what you and others see; your behaviours and particularly whether you appear confident, calm and without fear.
If you have found executive and personal coaching to be useful on your journey please comment on this blog or if you are serious about increasing your personal effectiveness as a leader please get in touch via our website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.
Showing posts with label psychotherapy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psychotherapy. Show all posts
Monday, 26 September 2011
Monday, 12 September 2011
Designing Your Preferred Future
Do you feel motivated by the prospect of designing your preferred future and want help to achieve this?
The starting point is conceiving your preferred future in a way which drives you to achieve it but how do you achieve this first step?
The answer is to transport yourself into your preferred future and see what you notice first.
This involves envisioning specific details - often small and sensory based - such as what you will see, what you will feel and what you will hear when you get where you want to be.
You also want to design the following specifics at a number of levels:
As well as designing your future from your perspective, you can also shift your perspective to that of another - What would other people notice was different about the future you?
Ask yourself questions - such as 'What else?' - until you have exhausted the details and come up with alternatives which build upon your design for your future.
When you cannot think of any other questions you will know that you have exhausted your future design.
Now you get to the fun part......
Close your eyes and imagine you in your future design which you have just created.
Use all of your senses - if you can - and turn them up. Make the colours brighter and richer, the sounds more audible, the feelings stronger.
Why? For what purpose?
Using your senses builds your motivation. Imaging your future helps your mind to focus on its target and quite literally come up with ideas and options to help you to take steps to move towards your future design.
How did you get on? Please let me know or if you would like to book your complimentary 'Better Results Today' Session or visit our West of England Coaching and Counselling website.
The starting point is conceiving your preferred future in a way which drives you to achieve it but how do you achieve this first step?
The answer is to transport yourself into your preferred future and see what you notice first.
This involves envisioning specific details - often small and sensory based - such as what you will see, what you will feel and what you will hear when you get where you want to be.
You also want to design the following specifics at a number of levels:
- At a behavioural level - What are you doing in your preferred future? Who will be there?
- At a competence level - What skills, knowledge and experience will you have? (Yes - this can relate to personal stuff as well)
- At an achievement level - What will your results be? Who will be benefiting from what you are doing?
As well as designing your future from your perspective, you can also shift your perspective to that of another - What would other people notice was different about the future you?
Ask yourself questions - such as 'What else?' - until you have exhausted the details and come up with alternatives which build upon your design for your future.
When you cannot think of any other questions you will know that you have exhausted your future design.
Now you get to the fun part......
Close your eyes and imagine you in your future design which you have just created.
Use all of your senses - if you can - and turn them up. Make the colours brighter and richer, the sounds more audible, the feelings stronger.
Why? For what purpose?
Using your senses builds your motivation. Imaging your future helps your mind to focus on its target and quite literally come up with ideas and options to help you to take steps to move towards your future design.
How did you get on? Please let me know or if you would like to book your complimentary 'Better Results Today' Session or visit our West of England Coaching and Counselling website.
Friday, 9 September 2011
How To Address Your Fears
Do you have a fear which you want to address that causes you negative emotions and make you feel bad on a semi-permanent or permanent basis?
Most people have something they are fearful of: whether physical - for example, spiders, confined spaces or flying - or emotional - for example, change or failing or not being good enough.
How can you best address these sorts of fears?
I think the starting point is to imagine what your life would be like if you did not have these fears.
What will you be doing then? How would others know that you no longer had the fear?
This is your outcome or goal - your 100% - although you may want to aim for 80% or 90%.
Also, what would be the pay-off - or pay-offs - of resolving your fear? With a strong driver for the change you want to make you increase your intent to take action.
Next, identify times when you do not have the fear and what you are doing then. You will be wanting to do more of this because it works well for you.
Now scale everything from 0% to 100% where you are now. If you are currently at 30% - what are you already doing to overcome your fear? This is something that you can build on.
What resources have you used to get to 30% and can any of these help you to move gradually from say 30% to 80%?
Typically, small steps work to help you to help yourself gradually overcome your fear and it's unrealistic to expect to move from 30% to 80% in a week.
Although some people achieve this, they often slip back into old ways having not had time to consolidate and get used to their new patterns of behaviour and turn them into new habits.
Techniques which work well as small steps include the following:
Most people have something they are fearful of: whether physical - for example, spiders, confined spaces or flying - or emotional - for example, change or failing or not being good enough.
How can you best address these sorts of fears?
I think the starting point is to imagine what your life would be like if you did not have these fears.
What will you be doing then? How would others know that you no longer had the fear?
This is your outcome or goal - your 100% - although you may want to aim for 80% or 90%.
Also, what would be the pay-off - or pay-offs - of resolving your fear? With a strong driver for the change you want to make you increase your intent to take action.
Next, identify times when you do not have the fear and what you are doing then. You will be wanting to do more of this because it works well for you.
Now scale everything from 0% to 100% where you are now. If you are currently at 30% - what are you already doing to overcome your fear? This is something that you can build on.
What resources have you used to get to 30% and can any of these help you to move gradually from say 30% to 80%?
Typically, small steps work to help you to help yourself gradually overcome your fear and it's unrealistic to expect to move from 30% to 80% in a week.
Although some people achieve this, they often slip back into old ways having not had time to consolidate and get used to their new patterns of behaviour and turn them into new habits.
Techniques which work well as small steps include the following:
- Extended breaths - Challenge yourself, how many of these can you take each day whenever you think of of your fear?
- Exercise in the morning - A short walk helps to put a fear into perspective because being outside literally expands your perspective on things.
- Be kind to yourself - The next time you are in a situation which you find uncomfortable talk to yourself in a kind tone and give yourself what you need.
- Be responsible for how you feel - If you start to feel stressed, fearful or worried, see how quickly you can turn your feelings around by turning your attention to something else or by aiming to think about the fear differently. For example, if you are afraid of failing ask yourself what you can do to deliver your best piece of work.
- Aim to just focus on today - Most fears come from negatively forecasting the future. We do want to plan ahead and we want to see things going well but if you find this difficult being more present in the now will help.
Monday, 5 September 2011
Lose Weight And Keep It Off With Hypnotherapy
The most common personal goal I have come across professionally and personally is weight loss.
Losing weight is cognitively very hard with powerful 'feel good' food memories residing in your hippocampus.
Does your weight yo-yo, do you have 'good' weeks and 'bad' weeks and find you are either treating yourself or on a strict regime?
I use hypnotherapy to help clients travel an easier and more balanced journey towards their weight goals.
Contrary to popular belief hypnosis (trance) is not a sleep state and hypnotherapy is used to help you to make changes at a sub-conscious level - including how you see food and what it means to you.
We go into trance many times a day. For example, when we are focusing on a task and whilst relaxing.
Trance is a state of focused attention and is actually very pleasant.
For weight loss hypnotherapy I retrain your mind to create permanent maintainable healthy eating patterns.
We help you put an end to your battling in the war zone between 'good' and 'bad' food and make new associations to emotional triggers.
For example, one client now 'rewards' herself with non-food related treats which she enjoys and gets a serotonin (happy, coping chemical) high from without weight issues.
Typically it takes just 3-4 sessions to reprogramme eating habits - although some people need more than this if there are deeper issues.
In trance I help you to visualise your success - a technique which works very well for goal achievement including weight loss.
On top of this, I provide healthy directives which your subconscious has somehow lost the will to act upon for some time.
Ultimately your success will depend on practising the techniques which I share with you.
Experience also shows that a well-kept food diary works well for most people as do daily meditations and focusing on what you do want - to be healthy and well.
Please let me have your views on this blog and if you would like our help please get in touch via West of England Coaching and Counselling.
Losing weight is cognitively very hard with powerful 'feel good' food memories residing in your hippocampus.
Does your weight yo-yo, do you have 'good' weeks and 'bad' weeks and find you are either treating yourself or on a strict regime?
I use hypnotherapy to help clients travel an easier and more balanced journey towards their weight goals.
Contrary to popular belief hypnosis (trance) is not a sleep state and hypnotherapy is used to help you to make changes at a sub-conscious level - including how you see food and what it means to you.
We go into trance many times a day. For example, when we are focusing on a task and whilst relaxing.
Trance is a state of focused attention and is actually very pleasant.
For weight loss hypnotherapy I retrain your mind to create permanent maintainable healthy eating patterns.
We help you put an end to your battling in the war zone between 'good' and 'bad' food and make new associations to emotional triggers.
For example, one client now 'rewards' herself with non-food related treats which she enjoys and gets a serotonin (happy, coping chemical) high from without weight issues.
Typically it takes just 3-4 sessions to reprogramme eating habits - although some people need more than this if there are deeper issues.
In trance I help you to visualise your success - a technique which works very well for goal achievement including weight loss.
On top of this, I provide healthy directives which your subconscious has somehow lost the will to act upon for some time.
Ultimately your success will depend on practising the techniques which I share with you.
Experience also shows that a well-kept food diary works well for most people as do daily meditations and focusing on what you do want - to be healthy and well.
Please let me have your views on this blog and if you would like our help please get in touch via West of England Coaching and Counselling.
Monday, 11 July 2011
How Your Mind Works
You may already know that your thinking determines the quality of your life.
Why is this and how does it work?
When we have a negative thought pattern such as 'I am not good enough / not loved enough / not confident enough' these thoughts are converted into anxiety because our minds do not distinguish between what we think and what is real.
There are two main ways in which we create negative thought patterns - Negative Introspection about the past and Negative Forecasting about the future.
For example - 'I shouldn't have said x / should have said y / shouldn't have done z' or 'I won't be able to do x' or 'I won't feel comfortable doing y' or 'I am dreading doing z'.
When our anxiety goes up a number of things happen.
Our serotonin levels drop - the neurotransmitter responsible for us feeling happy and coping - as well as our noradrenalin levels - the neurotransmitter responsible for motivation.
Does this sound familiar at all? When did you last feel anxious or demotivated and what triggered this?
When our anxiety levels go up our intellectual control and our ability to function rationally as an adult goes down.
When our intellectual control goes down our subconscious / unconscious / emotional mind takes over and - according to experts - this part of our mind has the intellectual age of a seven-year-old.
Our subconscious mind always responds with three primitive response patterns which we have inherited from our ancestors - anger, anxiety and depression - and sometimes two or more of these.
Symptoms vary greatly and include stress, low self-esteem, feeling low and self-medicating for example with alcohol.
Our subconscious mind is vigilent, not innovative and always looks at things from a negative viewpoint - looking for the reasons why not to do something so when we are in the 'negative loop' we will not be fed solutions - rather we will we fed all the reasons to justify the initial negative thought.
Most of us do not want to live our lives out as a seven-year-old particularly as at that age we are not great at solving adult problems.
Clearly the key is to challenge the negative thoughts which arise in the first place - even if there are compelling reasons for thinking that way - because the route is always to end up in an emotional childish place.
We need to catch the negative thought consciously - thinking about it or saying it out loud or writing it down.
Next we need to challenge the negtaive thought - is this helpful? The answer is always 'No'.
Then we need to change the negative thought into something more positive - even if it is a challenging belief to come to terms with.
When we have a positive perspective we stay calm and in intellectual control - there is no need for the emotional mind to step in.
The reward for persevering with this technique is a better functioning mind able to find life relatively easy and having a better quality of life.
Please let me know how you get on by leaving a comment or by getting in touch via my website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.
Why is this and how does it work?
When we have a negative thought pattern such as 'I am not good enough / not loved enough / not confident enough' these thoughts are converted into anxiety because our minds do not distinguish between what we think and what is real.
There are two main ways in which we create negative thought patterns - Negative Introspection about the past and Negative Forecasting about the future.
For example - 'I shouldn't have said x / should have said y / shouldn't have done z' or 'I won't be able to do x' or 'I won't feel comfortable doing y' or 'I am dreading doing z'.
When our anxiety goes up a number of things happen.
Our serotonin levels drop - the neurotransmitter responsible for us feeling happy and coping - as well as our noradrenalin levels - the neurotransmitter responsible for motivation.
Does this sound familiar at all? When did you last feel anxious or demotivated and what triggered this?
When our anxiety levels go up our intellectual control and our ability to function rationally as an adult goes down.
When our intellectual control goes down our subconscious / unconscious / emotional mind takes over and - according to experts - this part of our mind has the intellectual age of a seven-year-old.
Our subconscious mind always responds with three primitive response patterns which we have inherited from our ancestors - anger, anxiety and depression - and sometimes two or more of these.
Symptoms vary greatly and include stress, low self-esteem, feeling low and self-medicating for example with alcohol.
Our subconscious mind is vigilent, not innovative and always looks at things from a negative viewpoint - looking for the reasons why not to do something so when we are in the 'negative loop' we will not be fed solutions - rather we will we fed all the reasons to justify the initial negative thought.
Most of us do not want to live our lives out as a seven-year-old particularly as at that age we are not great at solving adult problems.
Clearly the key is to challenge the negative thoughts which arise in the first place - even if there are compelling reasons for thinking that way - because the route is always to end up in an emotional childish place.
We need to catch the negative thought consciously - thinking about it or saying it out loud or writing it down.
Next we need to challenge the negtaive thought - is this helpful? The answer is always 'No'.
Then we need to change the negative thought into something more positive - even if it is a challenging belief to come to terms with.
When we have a positive perspective we stay calm and in intellectual control - there is no need for the emotional mind to step in.
The reward for persevering with this technique is a better functioning mind able to find life relatively easy and having a better quality of life.
Please let me know how you get on by leaving a comment or by getting in touch via my website at West of England Coaching and Counselling.
Thursday, 19 May 2011
An Inspiring Place to Coach and be Coached
From January this year I have based myself in Coombe Lodge, near Blagdon, at the foot of the Mendip Hills, which is truly captivating, idyllic and enchanting.
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| Enchanting Coombe Lodge, Blagdon. |
I feel so lucky to have found this place. What a difference from anywhere that I have worked before - mostly open plan offices with views of walls and machinery or the back of someone’s head.
My clients are happy to travel out to this beautiful place in the countryside because the location is so perfect for helping them to create change.
Fellow office dwellers tell me that I have the best room as it’s spacious and with the most awe-inspiring views of trees and woodland.
Since being in this place my coaching has reached a new level as I feel inspired by the location in which I work.
Clients have also commented upon the inspiration they get from just being in this place.
Their goals are stretching and, with a better view of their current reality, they are able to see what is required to move forward.
Ideas and options come more easily and are effectively assessed against some helpful criteria before they decide on what steps to take next.
I am a big fan of Tony Robbins who believes that for any change to occur we must first change our environment.
Thank you Tony for sewing the seed in my mind that led me to this wonderful place.
Please let feel free to pass on your comments on this blog? Has it inspired you at all?
Alternatively, please take the opportunity to visit my website West of England Coaching and Counselling as I am passionate about improving lives using our mind and would love to hear from you.
Please let feel free to pass on your comments on this blog? Has it inspired you at all?
Alternatively, please take the opportunity to visit my website West of England Coaching and Counselling as I am passionate about improving lives using our mind and would love to hear from you.
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