Why Professional Coaching Works

I asked a client recently what role processing and reflecting in her coaching sessions had on her life. 

She said that along with discussing options, she felt that a void in her thinking is filled through her coaching work. Paula added that she feels more in control of the decisions that she is making rather than “pootling along, drifting into the currents created by others” [I love this metaphor and will keep it in my mind].

This sense and way of being more in control [as far as we can be, in my opinion] improved her success with work and personal goals.

Paula added that the mentoring work which we do, where she asks for advice, gives her tactics and strategies to apply and note for future reference the ones that work best for her in any context and scenario.

I coach, counsel and mentor individuals because I am passionate about helping people to develop their own unique self, to think, be and feel better for it. We discuss habits that work and use psychological tools to reinforce these, for example belief change work.

Get in touch to discuss your wants, needs and budget.

Big love,

Pam

Overcoming Fear

 A client wanted to address her fear of presenting

Despite preparing the presentation content thoroughly, she knew that she would have nerves, culminating in a panic attack, shortly before she was due to present and would make an excuse. Someone else would step in and she would feel relieved.

Our physiological experience belies what is going on in our mind. The thoughts she was having were negative and causing her anxious physical symptoms: she told herself that she would colour up, forget her words and that people would think she was weak.

Imagine yourself about to descend down a mountain on your skis. Are you anxious or excited? Physiologically these feelings are the same. How we present the feelings to ourselves determines whether it manifests as excitement, or fear.

We discussed this analogy and my client was able to say:

“So if I can get excited about it, I will experience the same feelings, but it will be ok?”

We had a conversation about an example topic and what could be exciting about the content or the way she presented it.

I have just received a call from her to say that she had presented to a small group, as a trial of her new approach and it went well.

Same feelings, different thoughts.

Choose your thoughts carefully.

Big love,

Pam

Outcome focused Coaching

The desired outcome is a great way to focus the approach we take

One of yesterday’s clients was an initial consultation. They said that the takeaway was thinking more specifically about their outcome.

My coaching starts with a complimentary consultation to check for rapport, to discuss target outcomes, approach and to outline the budget. Some clients self-fund, wanting to control the agenda entirely; others are organisation funded.

My approach thereon is tailored to desired outcomes. It combines solution-focused coaching, advising, mentoring and counselling. With over 30 years in business and people development, I can help you to develop the behaviours and strategies that you need to achieve your outcomes.

Keep moving forwards!

Pam.

Are you Fulfilled?

What is your Purpose?

Where do you fit in?

Do you feel like a square peg in a round hole?

Do you feel a void inside because you know deep down that you are in the wrong place?

Or maybe you feel like it is the right place but wrong approach?

You feel tension as you have more questions than answers. Do you want better but do not know what that is and how to articulate it; it is a feeling.

You want to have a clear identity and purpose but do not know how to achieve these.

You want to be happier personally and professionally but feel stuck.

I worked with a client who presented herself in this way at our first meeting. We focused on a coaching exercise that helped her to pinpoint precisely what she did want.

Gradually she formulated her purpose and identity based on what she wanted. We used her values, skills and preferred behaviours as part of this process of logical levels. We also had conversations about ideas on how to get there, with manageable small steps that she took weekly. By addressing her problems, we helped to simplify her life, and her business.

People are fascinating!

Big Love,

Pam.

Disagreeing At Work

If you want to communicate better in a challenging situation this blog is for you.

I saw a client today who wanted to debate cleanly.

She said that whilst she remains calm while she tells a colleague what she thinks, they become angry and the relationship is suffering.

We initially had a conversation about what she could do differently and as she was struggling to find a strategy that she was happy with, I asked if she would like to practice a suggestion from me.

I suggested that the next time she wanted to have a conversation with her colleague about something she could begin with "what do you think about x? Listen hard and ask probing questions to understand their full thoughts. Then to ask clarification questions to check understanding before saying that she understood. 

We spoke about it being easy at this point if she agreed with her colleague. But what if she disagreed?

I suggested that she say "I understand and can see where you are coming from. I actually think y, because of a, b and c (rationale).

We explored understanding vs agreeing. We also explored how understanding another's perspective before sharing what you think allowed you to consider that first and perhaps even agree with aspects before being understood yourself, hopefully!

I will let you know how she got in a month's time when I am seeing her next.

For help, support and guidance with your personal and professional challenges please contact me via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.

Big Love

Pam

Not satisfied in your Work Life?

 Not satisfied in your work life?

For years in my career I thought that the reason for my dissatisfaction was the job. 

I came to realise  later that the reason was me.

Looking back at my career prior to working as a professional and personal coach, counsellor and mentor, I was not being me. Feedback told me that I was very hard working and achieved very good results. However, this did not cut it for me and I was not happy in my work overall.

Are you able to distinguish between what you are very good at and what you really enjoy? It took me years to make the distinction. I grew up in my career with the belief to play to my strengths embedded by teachers, parents and line managers.

I would like to suggest that you spend a few minutes today answering this question for you. 

How would you feel if you were enjoying about 70% of your work life, an achievable goal I think?

A starting point could be which skills do I enjoy using in my existing role? What can I do to increase the amount of time applying these skills? For example, if you enjoy planning and organising, could you spend the first 30 minutes of your workday revising your to do list for the next week? This fits with the concept that baby steps in the right direction can increase your level of satisfaction incrementally. For example, by 1 point up a scale from 1-10.

Try it and let me know how you go.

If you would benefit from help and support with your needs and wants do get in touch via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk.

Big Love, Pam 

Professional Coaching?

 If you would like to do better in your professional or work life please read on.

You are spending a significant amount of your waking life at work but you are somewhat discontented. 

Perhaps you have been overlooked for promotion, are at odds with your boss/line manager or have been thinking about changing jobs/careers for some time. Perhaps your business is in financial trouble.

You may have been procrastinating about making changes.

You are not alone. Human beings resist change as we prefer the status quo even when it's bad. Empirical research has shown that it takes a lot of courage to make significant change such as leaving a spouse or job/career.

With this in mind it makes the role of an independent helpful and supportive professional who will be your confidante and conscience, an important one.

My clients like that I follow up their action plans with them and help them to overcome barriers and obstacles such as lack of confidence and motivation.

Whatever your situation, let's have an initial conversation to discuss your needs and wants. We can then agree a programme that works for you in terms of budget and content. If you are local great, a face to face approach is good. If you are not a Microsoft teams approach also works well.

Get in touch now via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk or e mail enquiries@westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk

Big love, Pam

Personal and Professional Coaching, Counselling and Mentoring

If there are things that you would like to change or improve that you know would benefit your personal and work results please read on.

At West of England Coaching and Counselling, I provide a one stop shop for your personal improvement.

We will discuss your existing strengths and how to use your resources to address your development needs, from your work self-assessment and also from feedback from key people in your life.

We will focus on your continuous personal growth so that you are always working towards your best self. This will help you to feel more content. Why? Because we are by nature goal focused. Without a goal we become bored and start to ask, what's the point? I will help you to focus on actions to drive the changes that you want. I will also be your conscience and hold you accountable each session for the actions that you set last time.

I will help you with your personal analysis so that you raise your awareness of what is working and what needs your attention, by priority.

I will help you to develop your positive attitude and to consider consequences before taking actions.

I will help you with your creative and innovative thinking through faster, easier, cheaper ways of getting things done.

I will help you to develop the gravitas that you need as a leader to achieve results through others.

Please get in touch with me via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk.

Big love, Pam

Work Thoughts Journalling

 Do you find yourself in your head a lot about work issues?

You may have heard that journaling works well for helping to process your feelings.

Journaling also works for work issues that go around in your head.

Venting your frustration in a note book could also stop you from behaving in a way that you later regret. An example would be sending a message or responding to an e mail.

Your journal or note pad can help you to reflect. As you write your brain moves your thoughts from your emotional mind into your intellectual mind. This helps to neutralise the emotion and you can think rationally. Now you can respond rather than react.

Happy work journaling! 

For help and support with all of your work related issues, please contact me through www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk

Work improvements through Coaching.

Last week I worked with a client who wanted to change her relationship with a senior colleague. My client shared that she recognised her tendency to prioritise others feelings over her own, linked with her 'inability' to say no. Sounds familiar perhaps? Sarah told me that she would often take on too much work because of her personality. We worked for ninety minutes on identifying and practising a number of resources that she had and changing her belief to my first priority is myself so that I feel good and so have ample means to help others as I choose. We called the resources her boundaries and skills. As she left the session she said that she felt stronger. Sarah e mailed me this morning to say that she had had a conversation with her colleague during which they looked quite shocked and embarrassed and at the end of which her colleague had said that she admired her response and that she would do as my client suggested and ask another to run project X.

Professional Challenges

Right now I invite you to spend a few minutes on your personal development in work.

The first question that I would like to you consider is what is dominating your thinking at the moment?

For example, it might be to organise your workload better or to address a work relationship issue. 

Whatever, your current challenge, how are you currently thinking about it?

Is this proving a helpful way to look at it?

If not what would be a more helpful thinking frame?

For example, "I just feel overwhelmed by my workload" could become "I will think of ways to improve my organisation of my time. For example, I will spend approximately a third of my day working on my backlog, a third dealing with the here and now and a third achieving something important though non-urgent".

I want to remind you that your thinking whether flawed or excellent, or somewhere in between, is driving your results.

I want you to think about that. Perhaps you could start each day getting your thinking into the right place, for example "whatever happens today I will calm myself down to stay in my thinking brain and then come up with an action plan".

Happy thinking!

For help and support with personal and professional challenges please get in touch via www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk

Executive Coaching & Mentoring

I  can help and support you with your goals in your current role and with your goals for your future.

My posts are often about the things that you can do for yourself.

Today's is about being curious about what work contentment or happiness is for you.

1. Consider then write down words that define happiness at work for you right now. Not in 5 years time.

This might comprise tasks that you enjoy doing, skills that you enjoy applying, how you like to work, who you like working with, where you like working, when you like working...

2. What is your work identity? For example, you may see yourself as a servant leader helping your customers in some way.

3. What is your work purpose? For example, to be the best 'x' you can be.

4. What factors do you perceive as outside of your control affecting your work happiness? For example, you may want to change roles but think that you would not be able to match your existing remuneration which, having done the maths, you need to support your existing lifestyle? You may decide to think about this some more. For example, would you change your lifestyle to be simpler if you had a chance at greater work happiness?

5. What other factors are negatively impacting your work happiness? For example, comparing yourself with others rather than getting more in touch with your own definition of work happiness.

So go, be bold, be strong. I am here for you if you need me by contacting pam@westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk

Transform Yourself (no more procrastination)

 If you are finding that you are putting off the changes that you want to make, try this:

1. Use information such as models, methods, information and make them yours. Practice and then adapt them. An example would be you want to be healthy. Like most people you have the information to do this. Only when you make that information work for you as a unique individual will you have a deeper understanding of the difference between knowledge and actual implemented behaviour.

2. Set a goal around becoming your own advocate, taking responsibility for being your best self. Get real. What are your fears and what is stopping you from being the best version of you? Do you need to get support?

3. This is the present. The past has gone and we do not know the future. Let any negative stories about the past or projection of what may happen go. Our past does not dictate our future either. Get and stay present, it's a gift! There is just today. When you do this you are in your rational mind, in intellectual control. The emotions that you do feel will largely be good. We only create dysfunctional negative emotions by negative introspection of the past and negative forecasting the future. Your senses are alert and you can choose the thinking that will create the right behaviours, actions and results.

4. Safe is staying in your comfort zone. Your learning zone is beyond that. Just forget the danger zone! Take baby steps to do this. Choose thinking that will help. Physiology is powerful to reframe your thinking. Believe me. The fitter and healthier I became physically through movement and consumption the more positive my neural networks became. I faced everything in my day positively, doing my best and accepting setbacks rather than criticising myself for inevitable imperfection!

5. Once you get to this step you will feel connected to your purpose with energy. For me this meant intuitively knowing where to focus from waking at 4am each day! My day starts with reflecting on my health, relationships, work and finances and planning what actions to take.

Go well. Go steady. For help and support contact me via pam@westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk

Feeling Good Enough for what you want to do

 Whatever our development focus one area to show up is not feeling good enough to create a change.

Some people refer to themselves as feeling like an imposter.

I always say that this is likely due to high expectations. 

Individuals who expect less don't feel this way.

Telling a person to expect less doesn't seems to work!

What seems to work is a twofold process

1. Raise your awareness of your reality. How does your inner voice sound and when and where does it appear? What are the feelings and words that come with it? What is its impact, the consequences of it?

2. Decide kind and compassionate, uplifting words and actions that you could say or do in response to your inner critic. Could you speak these to your inner child? Practice these regularly until this is your new helpful and supportive dialogue.

[Tip: write the answers to the above questions down]

Now you are ready to take on the main change that you want to make.

Best wishes, Pam [e mail me, pam@westofenglandcoachingandcounselling, or call 07712 716602].

Personal Development Planning

Do you have a Personal Development Plan (PDP)?

If you do, good for you! If you don't now could be a good time to start thinking about and writing one. 

Research shows that people who are proactive about what they want including where they want to go in their careers are more likely to be successful in life.

This could be anything from working towards more flexible hours, to changing a behaviour to achieve better results. It could be changing career direction entirely. It could be starting your own business.

I would recommend that you start with diarising a few hours to take yourself off grid. Once a year I take myself off to my favourite place and review my PDP using a hand written journal. I always have a walk as well because this stimulates my thinking.

Some people find this an easy and enjoyable task. For others quite challenging and others procrastinate and stay still or stuck.

I provide help and support in the following areas if you want it:

1. Reviewing your career including career diagnostics - what careers best suit your values, personality and skills strengths?

2. Producing a stand-out CV

3. Personal brand development and marketing you

4. Role applications and cover letters

5. Speculative approaches to your targets

6. Interview preparation including state management and practice 

7. Negotiating your remuneration

Get ahead today and get in touch with me, pam@westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk

Hypnotherapy for work related issues

 If you have a work related issue that you think is holding you back then this short post is for you.

Perhaps anxiety and fears are negatively impacting your work or maybe a lack of confidence. Or as in the case of a recent client her perceived lack of resilience, focusing a lot of her attention on what went wrong before.

Hypnotherapy can help with most work related issues that have a subjective personal element. 

This is because about ninety percent of the mind is subconscious. The subconscious is accessed though a process of relaxation or hypnosis. This feels like day dreaming when you lose track of time until something jolts you out of that state such as a raised voice. This process is natural and safe as we go into hypnosis or trance many times during the day, often when we are completing routine tasks, familiar journeys for example or reading a book.

Once relaxed we can talk to your subconscious, feeding in suggestions that are relevant to what you need such as confidence or resilience. Your conscious critical mind has stepped to one side and your subconscious absorbs these helpful suggestions like a sponge.

If this is something that you would like to explore further please get in touch via my website www.westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk or call me on 07712 716602. Best wishes, Pam Madden

Professional 1:1 coaching and mentoring. If you are interested in CPD or Continuous Professional Development and have a Personal Development Plan for work then this blog is for you.

We all have professional development needs whatever stage we are at in our career. Addressed, we will continue to develop and grow in our professional life. Some of these needs can be addressed by a course or reading. Increasingly, professionals are looking for a tailored one to one approach and this is where professional coaching and mentoring comes in.

I thought that I would write about the 3 most common development needs that clients have been using me for as their coach and mentor.

1. Confidence and resilience bouncing back from difficulties. Belief in your ability to achieve a specific outcome. For example, I am working with a client who wants to trust herself to answer tricky client questions rather than needing reassurance and deferring to senior colleagues. The work we are doing started with her practising state management tools until these became a habit or unconscious competence. Now we are working on response strategies and options rather than a reactive "I don't know. I will get X (senior colleague) to call you." To develop her resilience we are literally developing her mind and body strength in a few ways so that she is ready to act in the busiest of times and trickiest of scenarios. We are also using NLP or Neuro-Linguistic-Programming for belief change work.

2. Developing presence. Here I am working with clients on a number of areas including body language, tonality especially word emphasis and avoiding monotone delivery, impactful behaviour and presentation. Clients enjoy resetting or establishing their brand and practising ways to encourage interest from key stakeholders. The key thing here is for it to work as well as being authentic and comfortable for you.

3. Being strategic and decisive. In this area we start with defining what this looks like and the behaviours involved. For example, not micromanaging and planning ahead. We also practice using a number of strategic frameworks and decision making tools.

The point is that we all need to be honest with ourselves and talk about where we are falling short of our potential. By getting real and identifying our development areas specifically, we can address them and get better results. Having discussed this with a number of clients we all agree that when we do this we are honouring ourselves, having self-respect and staying away from the sloppy end of the spectrum!

 

Make Choices & Feel Understood

One of my clients told me recently that the best thing about coaching with my support was that she now felt understood and able to make choices. I wanted to explore this further with her which she agreed to.

My client said that saying her thoughts out loud and having me listen and say that I understood was a big relief. When she had done this with friends in the past they had listened without saying anything and then went on to talk about their own experience in this area. As a result of this she had stopped sharing her thoughts with friends and had felt increasingly overwhelmed by them. Her feelings had been fearful, panicky and anxious for years.

Being understood is one of our major needs as humans, along with giving and receiving love and making choices. 

Sharing that being understood made her feel safe and secure to express her true thoughts.

My client said that once she felt understood she felt that she could identify her choices and be self-directing in her life.  She suddenly felt a massive energy surge that replaced a feeling of helplessness.

We cannot control our feelings. We can control our thoughts. A good coach will work with you to help you to understand and control your thinking in most cases and in turn help you to experience more positive feelings.

If you are feeling like my client was please get in touch to discuss your needs using pam@westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk or 07712716602.

Career Transition

 If during lockdown you have been contemplating a career change then this blog is for you.

The past months have created more uncertainty than most of us have ever experienced before.

They have also generated unprecedented changes in the ways that we live and work.

One of the benefits of remote working is opening up a massive opportunity in terms of careers.

Perhaps lockdown has facilitated your desire to do something different, for example, to meet your other responsibilities. 

Research correlates a number of factors with career satisfaction. Some of my work involves helping clients to diagnose what careers would work best for them in providing career satisfaction.

The starting point is work values. I would advise that you brainstorm your work values and then prioritise the top 5. For example, mine are health and wellbeing, learning and development, results, connection and freedom. 

Your next step is to consider some career options that come to mind that would meet your top 5 work values.

You may then research say the 3 career options that you think of. Perhaps one stands out as unrealistic and one just feels right. You can then start to think about the gap between where you are now and what you want to do in your career. Perhaps training or coaching is the next step.

I work through a number of other predictors of career satisfaction with you to help you to establish the best career fit for you.

For help in career transition please contact me via pam@westofenglandcoachingandcounselling.co.uk